The Unforgiven

 Are You Unforgiven? 

An Anonymous comment was left on a previous thread entitled Return to Normalcy Toolkit:

Anonymous said:

"Don, that must be some of the best advice post-NTCC that I've ever read. De-programming is a slow process and we were taught to act and react in certain ways. Hopefully over time we can become less critical and more loving and more like Christ."

Our response turned into a comment long enough to be a thread so we will make it a new thread.

Don and Ange said:

"I'm not an expert by any stretch, but for me the de-programming took place during when I left the ntcc and God.  For 14 years I learned that the best way to de-program was to be free from it all. I learned the hard way; but much of it worked.  I did many of the things on this list except for that which pertained to serving God.

When I did come back to God, there was a new struggle.  The first step in this process was to realize that God still loved me.  He wasn't sitting up in heaven with lightning bolts waiting to strike me down.  God wanted me back.  Then I had to look at that huge portion of my life spent in the ntcc and try to sort out the good from the bad.  Recognizing that the ntcc was a cult was easy for me at this point.  They were not interested in getting me back; God was.  They were not interested in loving me any more; God was.  If you don't believe this, try crawling back to them and see how accepting and forgiving they are. Oh sure, you'll get the same old love-bombing they used to 'win' you into ntcc; but they will never really trust you.  Like davis often says, "I forgive; but I don't forget!"  Well, I've got news for him:  God was ready to forgive me immediately; and God forgets!!

What's really cool about God is that He loves us and deals with us on a personal level.  I never dreamed that God would ever care about me again.  I was programmed to believe that there would never be any hope for me.  People that leave the ntcc believe this also.  It seems so hopeless; but when you feel the love of God in your life again it erases all the erroneous teachings, all the poor examples of ntcc style Christianity that make people so critical of others.  We were De-eXisted by the ntcc because we were no longer of use to them.  They practice the opposite of everything that God is all about.

Instead of loving people they see them for what value those people can be to ntcc's program.  Instead of comforting folks they instill fear in them.  Instead of helping people they use them for stepping stones to become more like the greedy leaders they serve.  They don't practice Christian values.  They call themselves the Children of God and everyone else is a sinner.  Their only interest in the sinner is to convert them into individual stacks of money.  This is what they are after.  Rwd doesn't want to help anyone, in fact every time I've sought spiritual advise from him he'd just pass the buck and say "Pray."

You can pray and pray and pray, as I did; but if you don't have the love and support of the leaders that demand respect and loyalty from you, you find yourself on a one-way dead end road. There is no where to go. You pray; but they won't change.

It's like going to the SPCA and rescuing a dog.  The dog loves you because his previous conditions were deplorable.  You pet the dog and feed him and in turn that dog is grateful that he is no longer living in a disease infested prison waiting to be euthanized.  You allow the dog to live in the house and show it attention every day; and that dog in turn loves you unconditionally.  It follows you around.  It waits for you to come home from work.  It greets you in the morning when you wake up.  The dog loves you and asks for nothing in return but to be part of your life.

At some point the dog has an accident or does something that makes you mad.

A cruel person would chain the dog to a dog house and feed and water it, and tell everyone, "This is my dog".  The dog of course doesn't understand.  He used to be part of your life, now he sees you for five minutes a day and spends his life pacing back and forth.  Many times he runs out of water and doesn't get enough food.  He has ticks and mosquito bites and still all he really wants is love.

Some dog owners  will take that same dog for a ride.  The dog thinks, this is great he's letting me out of my prison; he loves me again; but something is wrong.  There is no love.  They'll drive for an hour and drop the dog off on the side of the road and speed off.  The dog waits, and waits.  The dog can't understand what happened to the love He once knew.  How could they do this? The dog then wanders around lost not knowing where his next meal is going to come from, not knowing if he'll ever be loved again. The dog doesn't have survival skills because he was taught to depend on those he loved for everything. Perhaps something horrible will befall him like being torn apart by a wild animal or getting hit by a car.

Rejected and Abused

I was like this dog.  I loved the ntcc and the people that were in it.  I was taught to trust them and depend on them.  But I also loved God.  When these people left me on the side of the road I wandered around and had no peace in my heart.  I wondered over and over how they could be so cold and cruel.  I didn't blame them or God; but I equated their love for God's love.  I thought if they don't love me anymore than neither does God.  This was my mistake; and this is what caused me so many years of grief.

God is Love; the ntcc leadership is not.  They teach you not to love and not to forgive.  They laugh at grace and mercy and tout individual responsibility and works.  The ntcc does not try to reconcile folks unless it profits ntcc.  The only thing that we are trying to get across to folks in the ntcc is that God loves you and doesn't want you to waste anymore of your life.  God doesn't want you to become like those you honor and trust.  God want's you to become more like Him.  He wants you to have love and grace and mercy and peace in your life.

The Dog may never trust a human again and may never find the love he once knew.  We are not dogs but we were created with a soul that was made to love God.  We were loved and always will be loved by God.  The ntcc has failed.  As an organization they have left their first love and they no longer have any compassion, mercy or love. If they did, they would stand up against the establishment and do what is right.  God is walking to and fro among them looking for someone that will stand for what is right.  They can ignore us on the outside and say we are just bitter; but if a significant number on the inside that would unite and stand for what they once knew to be right, they could make a huge difference.  To the ntcc you will become as we are:  "The Unforgiven".

But to God, we are Precious, a peculiar people, a Holy Priesthood, washed in His blood; because God so loved us that He gave His only begotten Son...

Have You Been Told?  Watch On YouTube >>