The following story was sent to us by an ntcc Board Member's X - daughter in law. We have published it in its entirety. The author gives a first hand account of what it was like to be a mother of three children, a wife of an ntcc minister and to be married to the son of an ntcc board member. We recommend that you take the time to read this in full. If you are short on time and you wish to read the main points, we have highlighted some of the more outrageous abuses and egregious behavior that indicts these ntcc cult leaders as a disgrace to Christianity and unfit to hold any leadership position in any church. The author refers to the Board member's wife as "mother in law" or "his mother" several times throughout this post. She refers to the Board member's son as "my ex".
I was invited when I was 18 at the commissary, the lady who invited me has not been in the church for about 10 years now. I started going in 2001.
My first pastor, had us “soul win” on post, I was once arrested with another “sister” for going door to door on post, this is an illegal action and he knew it, after speaking with the MP’s that day I realized that there were proper channels that could be taken if you wished to go door to door on post. My pastor at the time did not want to go through the proper channels. My baby was 8 months old at the time, I spent a few hours on the base waiting for them to hopefully release us. The outcome of this could have been worse, he knowingly put us in harm’s way.
- Meeting the In-Laws
I met my in-laws a year prior to getting married to their son. I knew they were over seers and did not give them much thought. She was kind of nosy and asked a lot of questions. I thought you were just supposed to answer, because they are over seers and that is what you do. Being just a church member no one bothered me too much, I was insignificant to the big wigs. I do remember working 3 days a week in the children’s church, cleaning the church, always donating time or some financial thing to the church, it was expected. I did all the things that made me a good girl in their church, and when I had recently divorced, the big wigs took notice, their goal was to marry me off to some brother.
He came to church with his mom and dad on a Sunday in 2006, I had several of my friends from work, and even a family member in service that day, I brought people to church. I believed I was helping them get out of the life of sin. He came in one Sunday morning with his mom and dad, he will claim I stared at him, or noticed him, he was a new person I had never seen before, I wasn’t checking him out as he may claim. I just wondered who this large guy was that just busted the tambourine during a song service, it was quite noticeable because the pieces flew all over the floor.
That afternoon his mother asked him, did you see anyone you were interested in, she was referring to me. My ex said there was one girl, but she had to be young, and he didn’t want another young person. That night his mother approached me and convinced me to stay for fellowship, at the fellowship, she started in with questions, how old was I, what happened in my former marriage, how old were my kids, and the list goes on. I answered, I thought it was wrong not to, the overseers were high up, and you knew it. That night during the fellowship he kept glancing at me, I left early and thought nothing of it.
Wednesday Ladies Bible Study rolled around and I went, my pastor at the time asked if my ex could have my phone number, I thought sure why not, maybe he will be a good brother. He called me within 5 minutes of getting my number. His mother gave me a huge gift basket 2 days later, and then came over with $100 the day after that saying these were gifts from her son. I have since realized if a man does this, run away. It’s a precursor to bad things to come. We communicated for 2 weeks when he asked me to marry him. I asked my pastor, he said this is so and so’s son, he will be great, everyone seemed so happy, I thought I trust these people, they want what is good for me, if they are happy it must be a good thing. I was 23 at the time, as single mom of 2 young children, staying home seemed like a better option than working a lot, so after 3 weeks of talking to him on the phone, I flew across the country to marry this man. Looking back on it now, I realize it was crazy, stupid, and foolish, but when you are controlled by a place like this, then you don’t think rationally or logically. I put my trust in people, and what they thought, I should have followed those strong gut feelings I got about the situation.
- The Honeymoon Ended Quickly
We were married in 2006 and he flew off to war within a couple of weeks after that, within a month of being married, his mother made a phone call to me warning me about talking to certain just ordinary members about certain things. There even seemed to be a rift between my pastors wife and I that there had never been before. I cried after the phone call, I was part of this upper group now, and things were going to be a lot different. She held me to an unattainable standard, and it started with small things, your children’s hair is messy, why do you dress them like this or that, they look sloppy, and it just started as a small gradual drip, a drip of nit picking, fault finding, until one day it turned into a flood of unleashed emotion.
Later on, I realized my ex had been talking to a girl in another church, and one at a Pentecostal church, and his first wife was trying to make plans to get back with him right before we were married, I saw letters, overheard things from the church gossips, and realized I may have not been the one he really wanted.
- Leaving My Home
I had lived all my life in one place, its where my friends and family all were, after he came home, within a couple months we were moving to 1900 miles away. The first night we stayed with the in-laws house, my ex was yelling at my daughter for something, she was only 2 at the time, and said she had to go potty, I asked him to let me take her potty. His mother jumped in and said don’t you ever interfere when someone is correcting your child, and proceeded to tell me why. I stopped her and said, excuse me, it’s my daughter, it’s my place to look out for her, and step in when I feel someone is wrong, because I am her mother. It blew up from there, I went to bed without even saying a word to her, I was already pregnant with my youngest daughter at the time, and I didn’t feel good, nor did I want to deal with his mom. I was shocked, because I had never experienced someone lash out at me so harshly, jump down my throat and order me to do something, I reacted and stood my ground, and she did not like that one bit. The next morning, with tension still heavy in the air, another argument ensued, her final words were do you want me to call the bigwig, to which I said, go ahead I don’t care. I had a letter of acceptance into seminary, I had been a good girl for 5 years, and in one morning, one argument, they decided I was not good for seminary. My ex hid the referral letter from my pastor back home, saying he had never gotten it, he also hid the acceptance letter to seminary from me, I discovered it a year later.
- Pregnant and Stuck
I got pregnant after being married a few short months, I was in 1900 miles from home, and realized this situation was horrible, I cried every day, I felt like a failure. I wanted to go home, but at the time I cared more about what the church people would think of me, than my gut instincts. I wished I had never married him, I regretted it. It wasn’t just the finances, it was the constant phone calls from the mother in law, trying to tear at me. For a while my ex and I had started going to another church and our marriage improved, but then his mother called, and started being nice to me, started being sweet to me, Jr at one point was fed up and done with the church, I realize now, his mother used me to draw him back. I felt like I was betraying my pastor from back home and all the people who had loved me, so I stayed and went back.
The day I gave birth to my child should have been happy, I was talking to my step dad, and they accused me of talking to one of my former coworkers, and said I was going to try to cheat on my ex. After giving birth, I can guarantee no woman is thinking of wanting any man to touch her, or look at her. After my youngest daughters I requested visitors not come to the hospital, it was a difficult birth, her umbilical cord was wrapped around her neck, and I had hemorrhaged bad enough during the delivery they had to force drugs through my IV line to keep me from bleeding more. The room was tiny and crowded and hot, the only ones I allowed in were my daughters and the sister who had kept them for me. The mother in-law was mad at me for me refusing visitors, she said had people not been at conference, they would have all came to the hospital to see the baby whether I like it or not. It was my daughter, it was my hospital room, I should have been in charge of who could come there or not, this was June of 2007.
- Difficult Times
We hardly had any money, I couldn’t work, and my ex had gotten laid up. My mother and family sent us some money to help us out. My ex eventually took a part time job at a video store, for a couple months, he delivered pizzas or newspapers, but not a good job, he worked at a coffee shop as well, but we were sinking fast. At this time I maxed out credit cards in my name to help the family stay afloat, even took a personal loan in my name, it was never paid back, he ran through that money like water and we were broke again. It was a constant struggle, We moved half way across the country in 2008 I was constantly being bombarded by debt collectors.
- Accusations and Isolations
In 2007, my grandmother, who was dying of cancer at the time wanted me to come home to visit her with the kids. She paid for the plane tickets for the girls and I to come out there, my ex and his family refused to let me take my youngest baby who was 3 months old at the time, because they were afraid that I would leave and not come back. I was breast feeding her at the time, so I knew this would be very hard to leave her for a week. I visited my grandmother, my grandfather had given me a van so the girls and I would have a vehicle to get around in, we agreed to pay for the van as well, it never came to pass, and my ex sold it 2 days after my grandmother died, and pocketed the cash. I should add in as a side note, that my family never cared for my ex because of the way he treated me. I drove back, and got in on a Friday evening, I had just walked in the door, and all I wanted to do was hold my baby, I had missed her a great deal, I had been gone a week. My mother in-law informed me the baby was asleep, I said that’s ok, I will deal with her, I just really wanted to hold her, I wanted to feed her, I ached because of my milk. I went to pick her up, and his mother stated, my son and I discussed it and we decided you cannot breast feed your daughter anymore, she gets gassy, your milk is bad. I was tired and exhausted I had driven 1900 miles with a 3 year old and 5 year old by myself in less than 48 hours. I said I will feed my baby if I want, I went to pick up the car seat where my youngest daughter was and she grabbed it and started jerking on it, she would not let me have my baby. I let go and started screaming and crying, going I want my baby, I want to hold her, let me have my baby. My ex and his Dad left where ever they were and came rushing home, the mother in law played it off as an misunderstanding. I never forgot that day, it was sealed in my mind. What right did this woman have to tell me if I could breast feed my daughter or not, I knew it would not be good with her and I from then on out.
In 2008 my grandparents passed away in, they had raised me and were very much my parents in every way. I dealt with a difficult time, they passed within 3 months of each other, but that did not stop the things that were said about me, a constant belittling, you’re not good enough the way you are, even at one point being called fake. I had lost myself to this group of people, I didn’t think I was good enough just being myself, so I just was floating through life like a robot, showing no real emotion, they did not realize the pain I was dealing with on the inside from my grandmother dying of cancer, I just wanted to shut the world out for a little while and not be around any one. I needed my time to grieve, but was never really given that, life was to continue on like nothing happened. The day grandpa passed, I went soul winning, because well that’s what we do, what is more important than that?
- Little Eye Openings
One day I was sitting in a bible study, and it came to me that I was not living my life, I was on the outside looking in, it was the oddest picture in my head, of me unfolding a box and looking down into my life, I decided then and there it was time to start being happy, doing things I wanted to do, laughing, smiling, enjoying life, to stop being so sad. It had been almost 2 years since I had truly had joy, or went somewhere just because I could. I volunteered, at my daughters school, I started setting little goals for myself, I went places around the city, I ventured out to do and see things outside of that church. This did not set well, so once again the accusations started. On one such occasion in spring of 2009 I was called into the Pastors office, and there in that office was my ex and in-laws, my kids were shuttled off to the nursery, and the door closed. We sat there for 2 or 3 hours, the accusation this time, was you wear mascara, there are no way your eye lashes are that dark, or that thick, you know you’re lying, just admit you are lying and you can go. I said no I’m not, I said if I were going to wear makeup I would dye my hair, and wear something to get rid of the bags under my eyes. Nothing I said mattered, there was a constant accusation, and it would not stop, they said we were just having a discussion, but when yelling is involved that is not a discussion. When someone is saying you’re a liar and you aren’t what are you supposed to do. This thing about mascara went on for a few months.
I almost left the church then because of it, I went to visit, my ex had said, well if we want to get to seminary, maybe we will have to go somewhere else, look for a place in there to rent. So I did when I came here, this time I told my family what had happened, and they said it’s a cult, you know it, you need to leave. They still had a strong hold on me, I didn’t leave just yet, I went back. My ex through me under the bus then, he said I can go to seminary, you’re the with the problem you know you lie, and you wear mascara, I’m good, you’re not, you need to figure out what you’re doing. I knew if I every left him, he would take my youngest daughter, he said that from the day she was born, I was afraid of many things. These people dig in, and put a strong hold on your life, it’s a cult, read anything online about the signs of a cult and this church fits it. It’s very hard for the member who is in to leave, and to break the cycle.
- Seminary and more Indoctrination
I started Seminary of 2010 and finished in 2013, it was busy, there I heard the leadership get up and tell us what we could and couldn’t do, if we went camping on the weekend, we weren’t giving ourselves to God enough, but never mind the trips they took to with their families. The bigwig once said a woman that couldn’t play the piano was a hindrance to her husband and his ministry. When my ex and I first arrived there, we were confronted by the top dogs one night after service, and asked if we planned on leaving the church, I didn’t have a clue what was going on, my ex had been talking to a girl he was once engaged to about meeting up and leaving. She used to run up and jump in his arms and he’d pick her up and hug her, I wasn’t allowed to contact any former friends or coworkers, not even my oldest daughters dad, because well I may cheat on him, but he was allowed to do what he pleased. He had the passwords to all my accounts, my email, Facebook, etc. I didn’t have his, and if he gave them to me he constantly changed them. I was not allowed to know what was going on with the finances, or check bank statements. I had to get permission to spend more than $10, most of our marriage all but 2 years we were on food stamps, and state assistance, because he would get a job for a few months and then stop working it, it was said this happened because he was disable, they didn’t let me work because I’m a woman, it made no sense to me, why I couldn’t I am an able bodied individual, the mother in law really pushed government programs for us, like VA disability, and food stamps, but we were never to tell anyone we were on government assistance, we paid tithe on the food stamps as well by taking her shopping and buying her groceries.
There was a coworker of my ex when he had an office job, the ladies husband, and several of the people at the office said they were having an affair with this woman, they would go to lunch together, with no chaperone, he rode in her vehicle, and said they were just friends, anyone who knew this church knew this was unacceptable. I couldn’t even talk to a man without getting accused of doing something, and here he was riding in a car, going to lunch and other places with his friend, and many people, including her husband thought they were having an affair, these were people not connected to the church, people don’t generally think things like that unless you give them a reason to.
- Horrible Holidays
Every year the in-laws would come home for the holidays, what was supposed to be a happy, family togetherness time generally turned into a fight between the mother in law and I, every year this would happen, the exception being 2011, there was a grim prognosis about my ex, his mother knew I’d return home and not have much to do with her. The last Christmas in Graham was 2012, we went on some trip out to the coast, to West Port, we were very tight on money. In seminary, you pay your tithe, you pay for classes, they may throw an additional class in there, so you will have to come up with the money on the spot to pay for that one too, and you pay a babysitter to watch your children at night time if they are young, you’re broke most of the time, unless you have a really good job, which was never the case with our family, we just didn’t have money. I volunteered at a clothing bank, and I got cloths for the girls and I there, I also volunteered at their school, I had never stopped getting out and giving of myself, I like helping people, I enjoyed being around kids, and spending time with my daughters at their school.
We went on a trip we couldn’t afford to spend it with the in-laws, I budget the money that was on the food stamps very wisely. I raised chickens, and grew a garden, and made everything from scratch just to make ends meet, she wanted us to spend $100 for a 2 or 3 day trip for groceries, I said that takes most of our budget, we don’t have that money, so a fight started on that end. We drove there on a tire that was bad, my ex said the struts went out, no the tread was bald on the tire and it shook the whole way, I was so scared to drive that car, but away we went. While there, we did not get along any better, by this time my oldest daughter was 11, the mother in-law accused her of breaking something, which she didn’t and she yelled at my daughter and she went on and on about it. She said I didn’t pay enough attention to my children, how could I let this happen, I woke up early one of mornings and went walking, I just couldn’t take it, I needed to breathe for a minute. She found fault with me for that, saying she was stuck taking care of my kids, I was gone half an hour. I was made to clean the entire place we were staying in, I had to do dishes, vacuum, and clean up after they all ate. I was told I was lazy, and that I did not help clean or pull my weight there, they all went to the beach, while I was miserable the whole trip. One thing after another, we got home, and I told my ex I would never go on a “family” trip with him again.
New Year’s rolled around, and I knew something was wrong, one night after a church service, we were called to his parents’ house, my kids were sent in the other room to watch a movie, and there I was on a couch by myself, with all of them looking at me, something I was all too familiar with, the mother in-law started in, why do you volunteer so much, why do you help at your daughter’s school? I said because I enjoy doing that, she said, you should help me clean my house, I helped my mother in law, you should help me clean, you spend all your time volunteering and not helping me. I said, I did help you clean your house, I still do I just don’t want to be over here all the time, I have my own family, plus I’m still in seminary. It blew up from there, all I could think as words rolled out of her mouth was Jesus sat there quite before them as they were putting him on trial, I just held my tongue, I said nothing else, I blink away the tears, this went on for a couple of hours. They said say something, now is your time to talk, I said no I have nothing to say, the mother in-law was so red in the face, and upset, she could not get a reaction out of me. We left, I made up in my mind I would never ever treat any member of my congregation that way, I really had a desire to help people, and I never wanted to make anyone feel that way. To me getting out in the ministry was more important than her, or what she said or the accusations. I graduated seminary, and we left to the ministry shortly after.
- Their Greatest Calling
We went out into the “harvest” in 2013, having sold all of our furniture, and just about everything we owned, we got a church, a place and started, it was a lot of work, but I was in some ways glad to be there, because this was what I thought was the greatest calling, it was the height of that church, one preachers wife said it was a higher calling than being the president’s wife. That year for the holidays, the in-laws came to visit us, we had everyone over to our apartment, she spilled stuff all over the oven, burned it in and made a mess, I wanted to clean it up, she said no, go to the church and clean, you put that above everything else, and like every other holiday it went downhill from there. We fought like children over dumb stuff, she accused me of not learning to play piano correctly, she got so mad when I tried to tell her what I was learning, she thought I was arguing with her, while we were at dinner, she refused to talk to me, she intentionally ignored me. Her husband even told her she misunderstood me, the dad was always so quite, and never said much, most of the accusations came from the mother in law, so I knew it was bad if he stood up for me. I told my ex about it, he said, she is an overseers wife, she would never act like that, you’re mistaken, he later asked his mom about it, and she admitted to ignoring me, and what I was saying on purpose that evening during our Christmas dinner. I was so tired of it, never feeling good enough, I was the country bumpkin who’d married her baby boy, and I just couldn’t do anything right no matter what, eventually her tactics no longer worked on me, I’d grown numb to them, I stopped caring.
- The Wake Up Call
I had decided to make some smoothies and salsa, not knowing I was deathly allergic to a tropical fruit. The next day I woke up with hives all over my body, you could not see my skin, it was red everywhere, that was a Thursday morning, by Friday morning my throat was beginning to swell, I told my ex I needed to go to the hospital, he said it cost too much, take Benadryl, I said I’ve already maxed it out, I can’t take any more and its doing nothing. Saturday morning I woke up, I stepped out of bed, and felt sharp, knife stabbing pains on my feet, I had welds an inch thick on the soles of my feet. I got sick to my stomach then fell on the floor and went into convulsions, the pain in my stomach felt like giving birth. I managed to make it back to our room, where I got sick again and fell on the floor in convulsion, tried to wake my ex up, I need to go to the ER, this is bad. He laid in bed I fell, it took all the strength I had to pull myself up on the side of the bed, I was bent over in pain, I hit him with a pillow he finally got up. It took him another 40 minutes to an hour to realize something was wrong, by this time I was calling a church member to get me to the hospital. He came over and said, oh you poor thing you are shaking, I was in the midst of a serious of convulsions, my kids woke up, my middle daughter was so frightened by my appearance the first words out of her mouth were mommy are you going to die? He dropped me off at the ER, I walked in side doubled over by the amount of pain I was in, I went in, they immediately pumped me full of meds, steroids, and H1 and H2 inhibitors, on the way out my ex went to get the car, they stopped me and said ma’am you need to pay, I said I don’t know how to pay, I don’t know which account has money, I was still in pain, my stomach still having mini piercing aches, he came in and paid, and I walked to the car, without his help. That night he kept waking me up to take Benadryl, the most you can take is 8 in a day, when he came around the third time, it would have been 6 pills, I slapped his hand away with the pills in it, saying leave me alone, that’s too much. I’m tiny my body doesn’t take that many meds at once. Two days later he had me out in southern heat in the summer at a church bbq, where I had prepared a bunch of food, I was so weak and so tired I left early. For 6 weeks, if you touched my skin it would bubble up and turn red from the inside out. I dropped a ton of weight, I couldn’t eat any greasy food, mostly only fruit and veggies or my stomach would start aching again. The mother in-law said that was normal for my skin to do that because I was so fair skinned, I think she missed a lot there, I’m very olive, and always have been because of my ancestry.
- From Bad to Really Bad
My ex refused to work a job, our vehicle broke down, I had been sick, things were falling to pieces, it led to him and I donating blood plasma to make ends meet, to get to conference even. He sat there in the chair next to me one of the times and the nurse told him, I’m worried about your wife sir, her veins are so tiny, we are worried about blowing them. He said well thank God we can use it now. His mother said I was healthier than her son, so I should donate plasma, she told me of other preachers wives who had done it and wore the scares from it to sacrifice for God. It could have caused massive damage to my body for a mere $50. The last time I donated plasma, I felt so ashamed, I wasn’t doing it for a good cause, I heard my grandfather’s voice speak to me in my mind, “you were raised better than this, get up, work hard, and do what you have to do to take care of your family, no one else is going to do it for you.” I went to conference September 2014, just to listen to the new head pastor bash some guy for wearing shorts. My thought wasn’t bash the husband, but what does the wife have in her heart, why would she want her husband blasted from the pulpit like that. I saw my friends, they had been so energetic and hopeful, they looked worn and burnt out, I felt that way too. This place and all it held no longer meant anything to me.
I looked at my ex and said what if we would have done what God wanted us to do instead of following a man? Where would we have been, we were so broke going $900 a month in the whole, his mommy and daddy were floating us by. I just couldn’t live like that anymore, I told him I know longer wanted to go to that church. I was told if you live here, you will go to church with me, anyone wife under my roof will go to church, so you either stay here and go to church or you go to your sisters. I said I will go and visit my sister, for a few weeks and come back before Christmas with money from the job I get so we have a nice Christmas for the girls.
- Set Up
Looking back on it I should have seen it coming, but you never want to believe your spouse of almost 9 years would do something like that to you. He said I love you baby, I support you, I understand you are doing this to help the family, I have all the text messages, he lied. Within 6 days of me leaving he moved my family out of the state we lived in, his parents helped him. While I was away his parents treated my oldest two children like garbage. She had my oldest scrub the inside of the toilet with a paper towel and her bare hands, my ex had been ill and it was nasty, she was so sickened by this. He called the new bigwig within a few hours and said I left him and the church, I was blacklisted within 5 hours of being on the bus. I had not left him, I was desperate to help my family. The story goes I cheated on him with some guy at our church, left him and left the church. He said the same thing of his first wife as well, it worked one time why not use it again.
He called and texted me at all times of the day, I knew my marriage was over because I finally put my foot down and said I’m no longer doing it your way. I ended up working overtime and he would text me or blow my phone up until 1 or 2 in the morning. I went 2 weeks without my kids, he said he would fly the oldest 2 girls to me, since they are not his, and he kept the youngest. He said he left $200 in our joint checking account and I could use that, he also wanted me to deposit my pay checks into it. I told him I was not going to do that, I realized something was really wrong. When I called the bank there was $37 in our joint account. I had not worked a job in 8 ½ years, I had a couple hundred dollars I could use on a credit card and that was it. I had not even gotten a pay check yet. He ended up flying my kids to an airport 5 hours away and gave me a 2 day notice to pick them up. I hit my knees and just cried for several hours that night, I didn’t know how I would get my babies. An agency ended up giving me the money to get the girls and paying for my rental vehicle, they offered compassion and mercy, my step dad picked them up from the airport, and I drove home, a 7 hour drive in December after working a 9 hour day.
I ended up working 3 jobs, I did not have a car, I relied on my sister to give me a ride, sometimes she would drop me off at a coffee shop, so I could use the wifi, or talk to a Domestic Violence Agency or take care of appointments. I walked in 10 degree weather in December, I was up by the Minnesota, South Dakota border. He would call me at work and harass me. He had called my oldest daughters dad and said he wanted to prove me an unfit mother, and get me to lose all the girls. He called CPS in 3 states on me, every case was thrown out. I asked him how was I good enough to work in your children’s church for 12 years, I volunteered in a clothing bank, at their schools, at a Crisis Pregnancy Center, and started a girl scout troop, if I was so bad with children why would I have ever been allowed in a children’s church. He told me if I really loved God I would drive to our church in South Dakota, it was 2 ½ hours away, this was the dead of winter, the roads continually get shut down because they have so much snow, and blowing snow, the day he told me if I really loved God I would make the drive, it was -30, with a howling wind and a foot of snow. If I really loved God, I’d risk dying or breaking down, and being stranded with my kids on some highway, how absurd.
He continually called my work, he canceled my car insurance one day when I was at work, he constantly did things behind my back, he called one day and said you have a month to come here and get your things or I will throw them away and give them to goodwill. He told me my 3 jobs were not that hard, one really wasn’t a job, it was more of a gig. I went to court in the summer of 2015 to get a divorce, we agreed and settled, his original lawyer ended up going to a mental hospital, so he got a new lawyer just a few days before it was set to be finale, this drug the case out longer. He switched therapist, and drug it out more, finally in April 2016 we were done, 10 days after the judge signed off on our divorce paper he was already remarried to his first wife. I cried at this point, not because I wanted him back, but I wondered why did you drag this horrible experience out, why did you put me through this. I was hindered from doing a lot of things, in my personal life, or advancing I was stuck in a holding pattern because I was still married. Some people do not understand the decisions I was forced to make, I really wanted my youngest daughter, but I went up against people who had money, I couldn’t afford it, I sat down many days, many nights, I prayed for months. I weighed the options, I had to make a decision to do what was best for all my girls, so I do not have my youngest daughter. He told me in the beginning if I ever left him he would make sure I never got her, that he would bury me in the process, I’m still standing, but he tried his hardest to paint me as a bad person.
This experience has not been easy, it’s been a painful one, words cannot even describe the things I felt or went through. I went to therapy for almost a year. I search out answers, I reflect, and just try to take one day at a time, and to make the best out of every day. Things that seem normal to a lot of people, were no longer normal for me, like wearing pants, or jewelry, make up, or even cutting my hair. It’s hard for someone to understand unless they have been through an experience like it. I wanted to share my story, I’m no longer scared to. I really don’t want to see anyone else go through what I’ve been through. I’m one of many people who has been done wrong by the group I was in. You lose your self-identity, I couldn’t even recognize who I was anymore. If you gut feeling is telling you something isn’t right then pay attention to it. Many have been wronged, spiritually abused, mentally and some even physically abused by people in this organization. I urge you, to research it, don’t just attend and follow them blindly. They suck you in before you even know what happened. They act like they will accept you and love you so much, then they start correcting you and the way you are dressed, they will use examples if you truly loved God you would do things this way or that way. One of the first major warning signs I should have realized is within the first couple months of me going the pastor got up behind the pulpit and said if your family tells you this is a cult, it’s not, we are not a cult. They started expecting you to go to all the events, it was literally 6 or 7 days a week, and twice on Saturday and Sunday, demanding time, money, driving your vehicle to haul others around, which takes gas, and is wear and tear on your car, when the car breaks down, well, it’s just the devil messing. They expect you to go to conference twice a year, ministers are required to go to one or they will lose their license. There is not much time for any outside activities, and you spend little time with your family because you are always so busy running for a group of people. Google what a cult is, you will see the warning signs.
I was left an empty shell, my world was ripped out from under my feet, I still cry sometimes, in some ways I’m broken and I don’t know how long it will take to heal from some of the things I’ve been through. This group was 13 years of my life. If you want to leave secretly reach out to family and friends, and just go, I had to delete my old Facebook account. If you are a woman and have children, go to a domestic violence shelter, and flee, take all your children with you, get a protective order put in place so you can keep your children. Be prepared to stand strong, they will smear your name, lie about you, try to destroy you. If you leave the church it is automatic grounds for divorce. Don’t think it won’t happen to you, they arrange marriages, they have a hand in putting people together, the environment in this church is a breeding ground for abusive relationships, I’ve heard by golly I’m the man of the house, is my wife don’t like it there’s the door. Women are not treated well here, you won’t be allowed to go to college, to work a job, and you will fight if you wish to even volunteer, they want to keep you at home and isolated. Did you ever think about what it’s like for your daughter? My oldest once told me, why would I go to college, I’m just going to get married anyway, I can’t do anything with it. Is that what you really want for your daughters? I want mine to thrive, I think marriage is a good thing, but what if they do not wish to marry, what then? You have to sit down and really think about the future, they claim when you leave, you will suffer and have a horrible life, that things will fall apart, no one will love you and you won’t be blessed, and you certainly are not in the will of God. That is so far from the truth, I’ve had complete strangers show me more love and mercy than anyone in that organization ever did. The only heartache and suffering comes from my ex and what he put me through. If anyone happens to invite you to that group run away, do not go, don’t even subject yourself to it. I know there are more of us out there, many have remained silent. This is a long story, I want the information out there, I don’t want people to experience the pain I have felt, you’re not alone, sometimes the best fight we can fight back with is simply standing, and letting our voices be heard.
Reunited by Peaches and Herb on YouTube
From this story we see that before the ink dried on the divorce documents, her ex 're-married" his first wife... making her his first and third wife... and the Big Wigs sanctioned it all, again!
(1) When a man hath taken a wife, and married her, and it come to pass that she find no favour in his eyes, because he hath found some uncleanness in her: then let him write her a bill of divorcement, and give [it] in her hand, and send her out of his house. (2) And when she is departed out of his house, she may go and be another man's [wife]. (3) And [if] the latter husband hate her, and write her a bill of divorcement, and giveth [it] in her hand, and sendeth her out of his house; or if the latter husband die, which took her [to be] his wife; (4) Her former husband, which sent her away, may not take her again to be his wife, after that she is defiled; for that [is] abomination before the LORD: and thou shalt not cause the land to sin, which the LORD thy God giveth thee [for] an inheritance. (Deu 24:1-4 KJV)
|David Jr. and His|
New Wife/Old X-wife that he
Remarried after Dumping the
abused Mother of his Child.
They are Celebrating
"Western" Night, and this
New/Old couple, and
the Whole Corrupt
We want folks to see the corruption. The above picture was posted on May 21st of this year before the ink dried on David Jr's second divorce. This is David Jr's new bride. Actually it's his old bride, also. This woman whose name is Amy was married to Jr. at 16 years of age and dumped about 14 or 15 years ago by David Jr. when he got sick of her. This remarriage to Davyo's X, is most likely another stop gap relationship and if you blink your eyes, you might find Davyo going through a third divorce. Stay with us, because this gets confusing as with many other ntcc sanctioned marriages and divorces. But there is more to this story.
Who is this girl, you might ask? This is Julia. She started attending the ntcc while Davyo Tieman was going through his second divorce. Fortunately this woman was smart enough to get out of the ntcc before getting trapped in matrimony with this wrecking ball of marriages. David Jr. was seen on many occasions flirting with this girl while going through his second divorce. She was the one that David was hoping replace his wife of 13 years with, but things didn't work out with this one. She must have known that David was going through a divorce and a light came on. DANGER! DANGER! DANGER! Julia left the cult and dodged a serious bullet. The match making machine sputtered and gagged so David Jr. had to settle for a consolation prize. They hooked him up with his first wife. Poor Amy. Raised in the ntcc. Abused and dumped. You know that Amy had to be talked about like a dog and treated like the scum of the earth by Nichelle. Now Amy is trapped in this family of abusive and manipulative con artists again. What a sick and demented carousel/roller coaster/house of horror. Dave Sr. and Nichelle had to postpone their traveling tour in their rolling cathedral to self wealth for about a year to get Davyo hooked up again. Soon Jr. will be given another church to lord over and will repeat the vicious ntcc cycle of chicanery.
Related Posts: Click Here