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| Future Bible School Students being Groomed for Marriage Early |
Julie shares the Following Testimony:
Wow sometimes I don’t know which part of my life is the hardest to share for it seems like just one messing pile. This though I feel is an important one for I know how others might view without this information. I do not have even little detail but I will share what I do know. What led to my teen marriage in NTCC? Now first off I want to say if you had a teen marriage it was successful and lasted my hat goes off to you. What led to my marriage just wasn't right. Even at ten and eleven I knew I would be married young it was just a given as long as they found someone to do it. I was wearing high heels by the time I was 11 some when I was 10. I would twist my ankle and fall a lot. What were they thinking having a child one with cerebral palsy no less having her wear high heels. Oh I forgot they felt directed by God. What made someone think little girls wearing them was a good idea was crazy. I would have to wear them at school at times as everything I wore was chosen for me. Let’s see the children already had enough to make fun of me. This only added to the torment. They made fun of my cerebral palsy, the fact I couldn't keep up in school, the fact I couldn't walk normally, and how I dressed just to name a few. In fact “the retarded snail” or “the snail” is some of the names of the years. It wasn't surprising to me for it seemed to follow me even at home.
The next month I was told who I was going to date and eventually marry. September conference 1988 I don’t know what those that were there that year remember but this is what happened in my life. First I want to share something I only know little bit about. On the way to that conference my father walked over to Donny’s car at a rest stop and said I heard you asked about my daughter. Now I was the further thing from Donny’s mind that day so what got it into my father’s head to do that I do not know. Maybe someone else knows something on that one. My parents had me ride in another person’s car so I wasn't present for this conversation. From that point to getting to conference it was decided we would have our first talking for I just don’t see it as a date.
Monday night we were chaperoned after the evening service at a local restaurant. This is after he had to ask the leader’s permission. That was crazy to say the least. This went on each night of the conference including having to ask permission. I believe my parents put a lot of pressure on him to talk (date) me. He talked nice to me but why would my parents not go: "My daughter is 14 years old just so you know; I don’t want you dating her", I will never understand.
Girl in Leg Braces and Crutches Wears High Heels and a Dress. Video Link
As I got older my parents of trying to find me a spouse. I remember sitting a restaurant with my parents, Davis, and Verna; Davis was discussing me getting married. I was only 13 years old at this time. Davis made fun of the fact I still was not dating anyone yet….saying so no one wants you. I just looked at the ground and he just grunted and said “Even she is embarrassed of herself.” Then turned to my parents saying it made be hard to find someone willing to marry someone like her people just don’t want a handicap retard person as a wife. I sat there feeling so worthless and like I had failed somehow in life. I felt it was my fault I had cerebral palsy and that I was being a burden to those around me. I carried the feeling I was a burden for years.
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| Donny and Julie Both Had Cold Feet, But their Marriage Was Arranged By GAWD (Davis) The Grand Poobah of Match Making |
When they decided to poof my hair, one thing I remember about this moment; is it being said that me not having poofy hair was added to no man wanting me. I would be very upset if someone tried to fix up my child with an adult. I will never forget the day I had to start poofing my hair. I was 14 years old. I had already been wearing pantyhose and high heels since 11 years old. Tanya Kekel came over and took me up to the attic in the Lakewood house which was my room. She sat me down and without warning began poofing my hair. I began to cry for I didn't want the hair do. I was told I would get the belt if I didn't stop and go forward with a willing attitude. I feared who would be giving it so I numbed the pain away. (My father or Kekel)
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| At an Early Age Debbie Johnson Kinson Shows Some Leg Before the Camera. At This Time the Girls were Swooning Over "The Hot Rock Star" Vic Johanson as an Eligible Bachelor. |
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| Though Other Girls Were Swooning, Edna Got The Prize, And They Are Still Married Today |
The next month I was told who I was going to date and eventually marry. September conference 1988 I don’t know what those that were there that year remember but this is what happened in my life. First I want to share something I only know little bit about. On the way to that conference my father walked over to Donny’s car at a rest stop and said I heard you asked about my daughter. Now I was the further thing from Donny’s mind that day so what got it into my father’s head to do that I do not know. Maybe someone else knows something on that one. My parents had me ride in another person’s car so I wasn't present for this conversation. From that point to getting to conference it was decided we would have our first talking for I just don’t see it as a date.
Monday night we were chaperoned after the evening service at a local restaurant. This is after he had to ask the leader’s permission. That was crazy to say the least. This went on each night of the conference including having to ask permission. I believe my parents put a lot of pressure on him to talk (date) me. He talked nice to me but why would my parents not go: "My daughter is 14 years old just so you know; I don’t want you dating her", I will never understand.
Donny didn't know how old I was at this time just from talking with me that I grew up most of my life in the group. We went back to Washington and since my parents went to Thursday night services at Graham. This is where we began to talk on what many know as the wall. He would have to ask permission from one of the leaders then go ask my father and my mother would say some stuff to him. Then we would sit and talk. It was a circus to even talk to me. This continued until He graduated from bible school the following year in which he left for San Antonio Texas. We began to write long distance. This was crazy as well for my mother had to both help read as well as write him back. We also talked on the phone with all calls being listened too. What craziness.
I don’t know all the details of this next moment but at the end of ’89 he decided he wanted to end and not marry such a young person. Not sure how Davis got wind of it but he did. Davis flew out to San Antonio and told Donny he couldn't end this he had to go through with it. People if that isn't control I don’t know what is.
The next year I turned 16. In the spring conference Donny proposal to me at a restaurant after church. The proposal was so crazy. He went to propose to me. My father wouldn't even let him do it the way he wanted and ended up making a scene in my opinion. Donny ended up doing it as my father wanted. (I look back on all this thinking this man had to deal with so much)
After this conference we went back to writing and talking on the phone. It began to be tossed about when we would get married by everyone but us. I wanted to go back to school and graduate even told my parents this many of times. So put on the face and go on with life. Then there came the talk of me not getting married until after I turned 17 and then there was talk of me spending some time in the dorm going to bible school. Then it went back to no we were getting married in my 17th year. So what happened next I wouldn't have accepted in a million years yet it isn't a surprised?
Fall conference of 1990 now that was beyond insane in my opinion. My parents and I came in from Washington to Missouri. I had a few new outfits which I was excited about at the time. My mother was acting strange like she had something on her mind but didn't share what she knew. We went to Monday blasting and put down session afterwards we went over to the talking building (fellowship hall to some) Davis walked up to me and said you are getting married Friday. You need to go get your license tomorrow. I stood shocked no one had ever said anything to me about this happening at this point. At first I thought maybe Donny had made plans I was unaware of but it just didn't add up that it would be the case with him. The next day my parents, Donny, and I went down to the court house I begged my father while I stood in the doorway of my parents room to let me wait I didn’t want to do it at this point. I didn't have my dress with me there were people I wanted to be there. Even though I didn't have the words I was trying to say I didn’t have the emotional ability to do this. My father wouldn't hear of it. He told me I could marry or the street would be my home since I was not allowed to stay at home anymore.
We were at a servicemen’s home and Davis wanted my parents to go to another one but this time without me. I felt so lost at that time but I knew I must not let people know how I feel so the brave I am happy face went on. My parents signed the marriage papers agreeing to have their 16 year old to get married. We scrambled to try to decide what I was to wear. Finally realizing that my clothes would just have to do. My mother in all the scrambling made a comment, “I was going to bring your dress but there wasn't room.” Light bulb goes on….why would she bring the dress? Did she know about this already? Asked her but no real answer until later. Yes she knew here it was my life she was dealing with. If I was old enough to marry….why wasn't it my chose to how and when it happened? Later she admitted that she knew before we ever came to conference. Why was it a secret? So many whys for me.
We began to continue to figure out what I had to take with me; for my parents would be first heading back to Washington before the next work and I was heading to San Antonio with my husband. It was insane the poor man (Donny) was not given any warning that he would be taking a bride home. He had used all his money to fix the car to get to conference and he had guys with him helping to pay the way to and from conference. They were left to scramble to get a ride home. We had to borrow money to just get from conference home to Texas. He wasn't even give time to be ready for me to even come to Texas. Then the day before the big day. I was so full of emotions not able to share with those around me the worse thoughts and feelings going through me for I was to be excited to get married.
I had never lived life at all. I mean simple things like my hair was NEVER done by me. It was always done by my mother or whoever else was available. Who was going to do it now? How was I going to manage the little things….but who cares it was like ready or not here marriage comes. I had no basic skills to function in life. People barked orders and I followed. Every little thing was controlled in my life. Most part I had to have permission to go to the bathroom so being throw into marriage was to swim without lessons excepted not to drown.
The next morning came. I was to be married. My parents were there and my brother too. I wasn't allowed to have anyone that I would choose to be there. Who was there was of Davis’ choosing mostly board members and their families. At least those that had not left already. That day I was nervous for the unknown. Donny or I knew hardly knew each other. I was a child lacking so much knowledge and led to believe a lot of things that weren't true. I was filled with emotional baggage. This is what Donny got handed with, "Congratulations on your marriage that you have no notice of and have no knowledge of the person you are marrying". Now there may be some details I am have forgotten to put in and some of the details only he would know but here is what led to me being married at 16 years old just a few months shy of my 17th birthday.
