It has been shared that when a person leaves the ntcc, there is an undeniable transition that takes place. There is a healing process that also takes place and for many this is something that happens over the span of the rest of their lives. Talking on the phone with Jeff the other day he said something to me that bears repeating. You never fully recover from the ntcc experience. You never get over it. Jeff is doing a very great work and we admire his resolve in this fight. If anyone has done a great job of getting on with their life it is Jeff. I believe that God has blessed him for taking a stand against the ntcc. He has his priorities straight, he is prospering in so many ways and he enjoys his life with his wife and children. I'm not saying this to eat a bunch of cheese, but I'm saying this because in spite of everything he has and all he does, Jeff has stated that the ntcc experience stays with you for the rest of your life.
We have scoured the blogs and found countless stories of lasting damage caused by the ntcc in peoples lives. This damage in many cases seems irreversible and only God can heal those whose hearts have been broken. When that happens there still remain memories and questions that people have a hard time dealing with. Many will say give it all to God and let time and God heal you. When everything is said and the veneer wears away, there are voices that must be heard. There is a need to share. When you keep things bottled up inside you, they eat away at you and that is where true bitterness takes place. When you begin to share those experiences with others that have gone through the same thing you begin to feel true healing.
Many people just want their lives to be normal. In the words of Doc Holiday, there is no normal life, there's just life. This is true in many cases but when you have been living on the edge of "extreme" you desire a return to normalcy in your life. We have a life outside of the blogs. Blogging is very therapeutic but you have to do things to enjoy your life so you can bring things into perspective and achieve balance in your life. God has given us a planet to enjoy. When I come home from work, sometimes I have to wind down before I can fall asleep. When your life has been going a trillion miles per hour, sometimes you have to wind down and enjoy yourself a bit. What do you enjoy doing? Can you allow yourself to have fun without feeling condemnation?
The following is a list of things that people might consider to bring about a sense of normalcy in their lives.
1. Treat yourself. Do something for you and you alone. Go somewhere or buy yourself something that you've always wanted. Realize that it's okay to have nice things and it's not a sin to do something for yourself.
2. Do something nice for the loved ones in your life. It feels great to make a difference in the life of the ones you love the most. I buy my wife plants and flowers and stuff. It feels so good when you give to someone you love.
3. Show kindness and take opportunities to help those that are in need. Example: When I see another truck driver that needs help, I take the time to help them. If they need a jump or help securing their load, I think, what if it were me or someone I love? There is satisfaction that goes along with loving your neighbor as yourself.
4. Show kindness and have charity towards a complete stranger that doesn't have anything. Buy a KFC dinner or a combo meal for someone that is homeless or afflicted. It's not a sin or a waste of money to help someone who is helpless. We have been taught that they are in that position because they made the wrong decisions in life, but allow your heart to be tender towards those in need and you will find a degree of peace in your heart.
5. Load up your family, wife, kids or friends and go somewhere fun. Go see something you haven't seen. Find a state park or something in your area that you've always wondered about and enjoy the afternoon.
6. Get a dog or a cat. I'm not crazy about cats but to me dogs are very cool. If you like cats don't allow the ntcc teaching to deprive you of having something you want. It's not a sin to have a dog or a cat or an alpaca as long as you take care of it. This sounds crazy but before I met Ange, I had a dog that kept me company in my truck and I enjoyed it. That dog loved me without any conditions. Don't let the ntcc dictate to you that you can't love animals or have one of your own. I'm not talking about anything freaky or unnatural. It's sad but sometimes a dog can be better company than some humans.
7. Try to separate false teachings from what's really in the bible. Download the blue letter bible for free and study the scripture on each questionable subject that you were taught by the ntcc. Look at every scripture pertaining to that subject in the bible and take it in context. Filter out all the garbage and trash that the ntcc taught you and keep only what is in God's word. Try to unlearn all that was said that never made sense by studying what God says about it in His word. Keep that which is written and get rid of the rules that restrict your freedom in God.
8. The greatest of all commandments is to love God and your neighbor. On these two commandments hang all the law and the prophets. If you concentrate on these two everything else will fall into place.
9. Don't condemn yourself for past mistakes and failures. Try to learn from your past by changing the way you do things now. We can't find any peace if we condemn ourselves all the time. What is done is done and can not be changed. But we do not have to repeat our past mistakes. Forgive yourself and you will find it is easier to forgive others.
10. Share your past experiences with others. If you do not feel comfortable talking about it with anyone you know, try blogging. Post anonymously if you want and realize that there are many that have gone through what you are going through. We all have differing opinions and views but don't take things personally if someone disagrees with you. If you don't feel comfortable with this than get some professional help. Find someone that you can talk to and let it all out. All you need is a listener and if you can get some of this off your chest you will feel much better.
11. Trust your instincts and believe in yourself. Don't let others walk on you or think less of you because you no longer live under the delusions of the ntcc. If it looks or smells bad, it probably is bad. The ntcc has spent years teaching us not to trust our own feelings and even after you've been out for years they still want to tell you that you are wrong. Don't let them tell you that you are bitter and angry. You know the real deal.
12. Don't be afraid to ask questions and don't be too quick to believe everything you hear. Study things out in life before making big decisions. When people want you to believe something really bad, question their motives. That doesn't mean to think bad about everyone or not to trust anyone, but don't be too quick to jump on somebody's bandwagon without knowing what they are all about.
We hope some of this might help you. These are things that we try to practice in our lives but there will always be memories and clouds of doubt that try to obscure the true light. This is our way of getting on with life.
Don and Ange
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A safe place for Xers to share their stories and heal.
A place to learn what it's really like in the ntcc founded by Rodger Wilson Davis;
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the father of the one vasectomy-rule-exception kid in ntcc, Grant Davison Kekel.
Jesus In The Temple
Matt 21:12 And Jesus went into the temple of God, and cast out all them that sold and bought in the temple, and overthrew the tables of the moneychangers, and the seats of them that sold doves, Matt 21:13 And said unto them, It is written, My house shall be called the house of prayer; but ye have made it a den of thieves.
Gal. 4:16 Am I therefore become your enemy, because I tell you the truth? John 8:32 And ye shall know the truth, and the truth shall make you free. 1 John 4:6 We are of God: he that knoweth God heareth us; he that is not of God heareth not us. Skip To Blue Letter Bible Search Tool
Saturday, June 25, 2011
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7 comments:
Excellent advice, Don. May God bless you both. Love- Big Sis
Don, that must be some of the best advice post-NTCC that I've ever read. De-programming is a slow process and we were taught to act and react in certain ways. Hopefully over time we can become less critical and more loving and more like Christ.
Good advise Don. It takes a while to get deprogrammed. I know it took a while with me. I think so much differently then I did while I was in the NTCC. I could care less if a woman has a dress i.e. I don't look at her as though there is something wrong with her because she doesn't. I don't even like all that spiritual rhetoric any longer.
Bless this, bless that, bless this. It's fake. God doesn't suddenly bless someone because some NTCCer says "bless you".
Faith this faith that: You are broke and struggling because you've let the NTCC phony's talk you into not working when you should have a job and you wonder why you are worrying about keeping the lights on? Hey, there is nothing wrong with faith but having faith in God shouldn't result in you making stupid, irrational decisions. All these NTCC pastors quitting their jobs talking about how God "told" them to quit. God didn't tell you anything. You quit your job and now you are wondering why you are broke? You won't work on Saturday and now you are wondering why you are struggling. You'll only take a 9-5 job Mon-Fri and now you wonder why you are struggling. If a man doesn't work he ought not to eat so there you have it.
Brother this, Sister that and you think you are all spiritual. The one you call your brother or sister today will turn their back on you the minute you leave the NTCC. You ain't brothers or sisters in "Christ". You are brothers or sisters in the "NTCC".
Your faith ain't in Christ, it's in the NTCC and that is why you are broke. Christ didn't tell you anything but the NTCC told you that you should go full time and then they treat you like you are a failure because your church ain't growing and you can't ever seem to get ahead. Yes, you better believe that I've been reprogrammed.
Common sense applies to Kekel and that is why he never moves but they want their pastors to be stupid while naming it faith. I don't see Kekel trying that mess. Kekel couldn't preach faith to me. I wouldn't even want to hear it from him. The fact is Kekel couldn't tell me a thing about spiritually and Christianity and or faith. You are an idiot if you let Kekel provide you with one ounce of spiritual guidance.
Jeff
Thanks, everyone, for your gracious comments.
I just found this post and I'm glad I did. Extremely helpful! It should be at the top. Thank you.
SG, Thank you for the compliment! I will be sure to tell Don; he dug out this work! We like your idea and have placed a link to this story at the top of tthe right sidebar. We're glad you found this info helpful.
I left this organization many many years ago, I attended the Christian Servicemen's Home on Victory Drive (with Rev. E.F. Gesang) in Savannah, GA and for a short time the little house outside of Ft. Stewart. I also attended their Bible School and even worked in their office for a short while in Graham, WA somewhere around 1985-1986 I think. I spent only about 3 years in the organization. In that time though I came to believe it was a cult of personality for RW Davis and distinctintly remember not liking or trusting his son-in-law, Mike. Both came across as arrogant, boastful and greedy (far different than what I thought of Rev. Gaylord who had arranged for my transfer from St. Louis to Graham and whom I held in very high regard.) Anyway, I packed my things and left. After reading all these accounts, I am very glad I did. I guess after all these years, there are two things that I'm grateful for - a love of wingtips and paisley. ~JT
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