Psa 27:10 When my father and my mother forsake me, then the LORD will take me up.
There Are No Orphans By The Talley Trio
This year we learned of what is, to date, the worst case of abuse in the NTCC. A woman contacted us and has bravely and honestly shared some of the horrific things done to her while in the NTCC. Here is her story:
This year we learned of what is, to date, the worst case of abuse in the NTCC. A woman contacted us and has bravely and honestly shared some of the horrific things done to her while in the NTCC. Here is her story:
I am known as the St.Clairs’ daughter or Donny Ridgeway’s ex-wife and I have something difficult to hear but important to share.
I am writing this as healing for some and understanding for others which can lead to saving and rescuing lives.
As I thought about going public with this information, one of my concerns was, who would believe me. To many people I was labeled a liar after being caught talking about sexual stuff that had happened to me. Some were told never to believe what came out of my mouth.
I will never forget having to tell people I lied about the sexual stuff and even having to go before the board and be humiliated in front of my now ex-husband. I learned to question my sanity and even feel guilty like it was my fault or a complainer. I remember going to each of the girls and having to say I lied. I felt so lost and alone like no one understood my pain. Wait, pain is that what this deep ache in my heart is attributed to ? Feeling like, Did I have a right to my pain or was I the guilty one? So confused, maybe I had caused the attention to my body.
I don’t want to at this point address all the sexual abuse from many sources but I do want to address the sexual abuse of my father.
I didn’t have a normal father/daughter relationship. Since he did sexual stuff to me I thought the most important thing was my body. I have hated my breasts for years not for the size but every time I would look at them I thought of him. I even dreamed of having them surgically removed. There were days I wish they would disappear. As the years have passed and age has changed my body I felt worse and worse about myself. My value was in my body; as I got older my value went down to me. You might ask were you bitter and angry at him? This one is hard to answer. Well first for a long time I wasn't sure who was at fault and then I was labeled a liar. I was angry but I was sure who or what made me feel this way. I was so confused with people’s reaction to everything in my life. Someone did me a favor this year and decided to ask my mother about the sexual stuff between me and father. Shocking there was some admitting to some of the stuff that happened. I had been so taught the only emotion I could have was happiness, that I was numb to all other emotions for the most part. I have went through many emotions in dealing with it all this year. I am slowly working through it. Communication with men is still difficult and avoid when possible. Hey they are moving up in my book even though it is at tortoise pace.
This year I have learned what he did was wrong and it is not my fault. I intern this year I have got help and been empower which has made me a better person, a whole woman and mother. I thank God for helping to heal me. I write today not to prove my story but to let those who have lived in silence with their sexual trauma know "YOU ARE NOT ALONE.” I have been there.
I hope that you will listen to this song completely through, taking in all the words into your heart.
Hugs, Julie ( Yes I have a name)
We want to add, for the record, WE BELIEVE YOU JULIE! Thank You for courageously sharing part of your true story. When the abuse happened to you as a child, you were a victim. Since then you have grown and become an Over-comer. Now, by sharing your true story to reach out to and help others, you have become a Champion.
We have much to say about this. For now, we want people to be aware that not only does sexual abuse of children take place in the NTCC, but the NTCC's top leaders hide the abusers, afflict the innocent victims, and endanger other children by willfully and purposely allowing known abusers to retain their ministers' licenses or positions of trust in the church.
This story, the Michael Fontenot story, and others' that have been shared under anonymity establish a clear pattern of abuse within the NTCC that is condoned and perpetrated by the New Testament Christian Churches of America, Inc.'s top leaders.
To those who have suffered, we pray for your healing.
To those who are suffering, we pray for not only your healing, but your freedom.
To those who have wronged the innocent: Repent.
Helen Ashmore told me one time, with tears in her eyes, "Those kids, they remember." (I believed, at the time, she was speaking of her love for her son Jerry / Larry Duran; and that she hoped the love would win him back to the organization.) For his sake, we hope not!
To the organization we now say, "Those kids, they remember."
They have grown up and now know they are not your property. Each one of them has a name.
Also from a healed heart, Julie shares:
IS IT REALLY EVERLASTING?
I would like to address SALVATION. First I would like to share what The Word Of God has to say.
NEVER ENDING SALVATION
John 6:47 says
“Verily, verily, I say unto you, He that believeth on me hath everlasting life.”
John 3:15 says
“That whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have eternal life.”
NO REJECTIONS
John 6:37 says
"All that the Father giveth me shall come to me; and him that cometh to me I will in no wise cast out."
NO MAN CONTROLS OUR SALVATION
Acts 4:12 says
"Neither is there salvation in any other: for there is none other name under heaven given among men, whereby we must be saved."
SALVATION BRINGS FREEDOM NOT BONDAGE
Romans 8:15 says
"For ye have not received the spirit of bondage again to fear; but ye have received the Spirit of adoption, whereby we cry, Abba, Father."
BY GRACE ONLY
Romans 11:6 says
"And if by grace, then is it no more of works: otherwise grace is no more grace. But if it be of works, then it is no more grace: otherwise work is no more work."
Ephesians 2:8-9 says
“For by grace are ye saved through faith; and that not of yourselves: it is the gift of God: Not of works, lest any man should boast.”
SALVATION IS SIMPLE
Romans 10:9 says
"That if thou shalt confess with thy mouth the Lord Jesus, and shalt believe in thine heart that God hath raised him from the dead, thou shalt be saved."
Romans 10:13 says
“For whosoever shall call upon the name of the Lord shall be saved.”
Salvation is for you. You may say Julie it is too late. My friend were there is breath, there is always hope. God loves you!
Maybe you are still questioning grace. Well let me tell you how it was put to me. It took a while for someone to convince me that God was really real….then that He loved me and then that He died for me. One thing I couldn't understand was grace. She said, “You mean to tell me God is up there putting your name in the Lamb’s Book of Life then when you mess up He takes it out and when you repent He puts it back in.”
All I could picture is a hole forming after so many times of erasing. So that would mean God has to keep adding angels to the team of erasing people’s names out and putting them back in. With that much work there has got to be more than one Lamb’s Book of Life.
You may say that is ridiculous, Julie. Sometimes it is hard to realize how ridiculous our thinking is until someone puts it into plain English. My daughter has these big erasers that says “Not Again” “Big Mistakes” and I forget the other one which leads me to this last thought.
You say God doesn’t make mistakes. Then why does your God need eraser?
To see part two of her story:
I Have A Name Part 2
31 comments:
A Message To All Women (From The Anima Series)
Click Here For Short Video
We thank you Julie, for sharing this with all of our readers. We started this blog over three years ago and we have had folks share some deeply personal stuff with us but they were afraid to go public with their testimonies. You have led the way Julie by coming forward. Now people in the NTCC will know what the General Board has been trying to hide.
The NTCC will probably not publicly deny this, but they might try to attack your character. This is how they fight the truth. Be strong and remember what you have done is brave and it is also the right thing to do. Others in the NTCC are suffering the same type of abuse, and they also are blaming themselves. Now they have hope. Never allow anyone to blame you for any of this again. The video you left was awesome and no matter how hard the borg tries to fight you, you are still a daughter of God. God will always love you and He will not forsake you like so many others have. You will find also that there are many people that will love and support you also.
The NTCC leadership has a history of trying to cover up scandals and abuse. What they did to you was unconscionable. By calling you a liar and forcing you to lie to others by saying it never happened is their way of condoning and enabling predatorial behavior among their leaders. They were too spineless to try to help you so they covered it all up by forcing you to tell others that it never happened.
If you can't get help from the General board of a so called Christian church, what does that tell you about the church? They are corrupt from the top down. They are more concerned about their fat wallets than they are about the people that make it possible for them to live in luxury.
The NTCC leaders are just like Joe Paterno and his staff. Young boys were being sexually abused, molested and raped and they kept it all in house so that their precious football program and it's leaders would not be exposed. The assistant coach reported the abuse to the head coach and washed his hands. Paterno reported it to his superiors and washed his hands. Meanwhile Paterno would see Sandusky at the games with a new boy every week and do nothing to warn that child or protect him. They all share in the responsibility. What about the many children whose lives were deeply hurt? They condoned the culture of pedophilia at Penn State and the young boys that were violated paid the price. Finally after years of abuse someone came forward and then others came forward and now the predator is in jail for the rest of his life and will never be able to hurt another child as long as he lives.
Another video that is fitting He Knows My Name by Maranatha Singers:
Click Here for Video
Hi Julie,
Thank you for sharing! I too believe you! I was sexually abused as a child (Pre-ntcc) but my son was abused (during ntcc years) and I had no support. I know, I get it. I was in Graham when the whole Fontenot thing happend and I NEVER heard of them saying a thing about him. I saw him leave then reeappear and never knew why. I ASSUMED he went off to "do the work of the lord" then come back to Graham. It was terribly shocking to find out he went of to jail then came back (and people should've been warned hew as a sexual preditor in a church full of kids). There interest isn't in the victim.
I am always here if you need support, encouragement, someone to talk to, a friend, etc! You can always email me at mommakat01@yahoo.com or text/call at 253 389 5517.
Blessings my dear! You are precious!!
Kat
Thanks for posting my story! It means so much to having the support of others. I hope one day we can have enough to shut them down. They are damaging on so many levels....it has and continues to destroys hundreds of lives.
Hugs,
Julie
To all that read this that are still in pain, I just want to tell you there is healing for you.
I lift up everyone in or out that are suffering be emotionally, spiritually or physically to God. You may have had a lot of dirty thrown on you but underneath it all, you are still a beautiful diamond to God. May His love reach you beyond the pain you feel!
Hugs,
Julie
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ur6Zznc407U
Kat thanks for caring enough to response. I appreciate it.
I am so sorry for what you suffered in the past and what your son suffered in NTCC.
Yes there is a lot of things in that group which have been put in the closet. They have used fear and control to keep those who know of the closet from opening it to the world even though it has no lock on it.
As I type this the verse from
II Timothy 1:7 comes to mind,
"For God hath not given us the SPIRIT of fear; but OF POWER, and OF LOVE, and OF A SOUND MIND." I can't say I fully live this verse but I am working on it. ;)
Hugs,
Julie
Hi Julie,
I remember you, but you may not remember me. I just wanted to say that I am so sorry you had to go through this. I admire your strength to stand up against the abuse. Much love and support to you. <3
SGallagher
Julie,Julie,Julie. Oh my God.I can remember you just like it was yesterday. I know you don't remember me, because we are talking about the late 70's but this just absolutely breaks my heart. Words can't describe how I feel. It's really of no use for me to even continue to even say anything else.
Anon thanks for your kind words!
I don't know if I remember you.
Mark G.....sometime there are no words but thanks for your compassion!
Not sure if I would remember you without knowing what the G stands for....
Hugs,
Julie
Anyone notice how much they use the portion of verse in Philippians 3:13 ....... forgetting those things which are behind......... Forget that we allow sexual abuse and other forms of abuse, humiliate you, take your money, lie to you, make you move over and over, blast you once or twice a year, ( oh wait sorry those our your family vacation time to relax forgive my error), put young teens with old men, destroy your families, stop others from becoming parents, kill people's spirits, take away childhoods, make you feel you are always in the wrong, confusion you on who is God, etc
For me it is forget what you saw with your own two eyes heard with your own two ears and experienced.
It is interesting how they use scriptures strictly for their advantage at any given time but they sure don't live it even in their homes. They sing songs that with words they don't even follow.
Well I will end my rambling here.
Hugs,
Julie
Ramble on Julie! You're making some excellent points!
Hello Julie....The "G" stands for Gloer. I remember you when I was stationed at Fort Lewis,WA. We used to ride to church. It was you, me, and Johnny, and your mom and dad. we are talking about 1978-79. I remember you falling asleep in church and crying and me picking you up and holding you in my arms until I had to get out of the car. You could not have been more than 5 or 6 at the time. Not to be too descriptive, but my wife and I were talking about this after I found out from reading your post what had happened. I don't want to read anything into what you said but what I'm getting out of this is the fact that your dad was confronted and he at least admitted to some of the allegations that you have brought against him. If that is true, then I feel quite certain that he is no longer a Pastor (wait a minute we ARE talking about NTCC here)and I'm sure that your Mom is not a happy camper right now. I'm also thinking that the molestations seemed to center around 1 body part and the fact that he basically fondled and manipulated just those specifically, and nothing else. If that is the case, what you went through was BAD,REALLY BAD, but not as bad as it could have been. A couple of years ago I stopped by and saw both of your parents after not having seen them for bout 30+ years. I hope that Johnny did not have to endure the heartache that you have had to endure. Are you in contact with him? I'll go for now. Hugs back to you, with tears and a feeling of absolute DISGUST towards your Dad who is SUPPOSE to be your protector NOT CHESTER THE MOLESTER!!!!!!!
Julie said, "
I don’t want to at this point address all the sexual abuse from many sources but I do want to address the sexual abuse of my father."--Bold highlighting added by Don and Ange
And just when we thought this story couldn't get any worse; we see there are "many sources" of sexual abuse!!!!! :`(
*sickened* *saddened* and *angered* all at the same time!
Julie said,
"You might ask were you bitter and angry at him? This one is hard to answer. Well first for a long time I wasn't sure who was at fault and then I was labeled a liar. I was angry ..."
It is written:
God judgeth the righteous, and God is angry with the wicked every day. Psa 7:11
Thou shalt not uncover the nakedness of a woman and her daughter, neither shalt thou take her son's daughter, or her daughter's daughter, to uncover her nakedness; for they are her near kinswomen: it is wickedness. Lev 18:17
Mark G. said,
"this just absolutely breaks my heart. Words can't describe how I feel. It's really of no use for me to even continue to even say anything else."
Ange says,
I can't say for sure exactly how Mark feels or exactly what he means; only Mark can do that. But I can say this:
I completely relate to what Mark said here. I was so overwhelmed, heartbroken, and angry when I first learned of only some of the abuse that Julie has endured. I cried and cried. I'm sobbing now as I type. The abuse is sick and so wrong. It has no place in a Christian church or in the lives of so-called Christian ministers! The church is supposed to be a place of healing. But NTCC is a House of Hurt and Pain. The ministers are supposed to serve. But in the NTCC the top leaders steal, kill, and destroy. They steal innocence. They kill souls. And they destroy families.
In a real Christian environment, these sexual sins would be exposed, the church would support the victims in every means possible, and those who were sinning would be compelled to repent.
NTCC seeks to sweep the dirt they make under the carpet. They want to protect their money and image more than protecting an innocent child!
I have to say it is only by the grace of God and His love that Julie has had the courage and strength to overcome all she's been through. I am reminded of the scripture:
So shall they fear the name of the LORD from the west, and his glory from the rising of the sun. When the enemy shall come in like a flood, the Spirit of the LORD shall lift up a standard against him. Isa 59:19
I rejoice that the Spirit of God is there in the daily battle to deliver Julie and others who have suffered in the NTCC but by God's grace have become Overcoming Warriors and Champions!
Ange here,
Mark!! Your comment about holding Julie when she was a little sleeping girl made me cry again. *sniff sniff* That's the way it should be, right? The men protecting the innocent girls. Julie will have to address the other things you said, or rather, I'll let her have her say first. But I think you should prepare yourself for more shock and disgust and all that comes with learning "the rest of the TRUE story"...
Ecc 1:18
For in much wisdom is much grief: and he that increaseth knowledge increaseth sorrow.
I think at this point I've gone from being sick to my stomach to being sad and tearful to being disgusted and angry.
We have added some scriptures and some commentary that Julie wanted to share at the end of this blog post. The topic is salvation and we love the way that Julie breaks it down. God's simple plan made plain and easy.
We know that there are many folks that are at different stages in dealing with the aftermath of a horrible cult experience. We have always tried to convey the importance of maintaining a relationship with God in spite of everything bad that has happened to many of us.
There are many that still blame themselves for the state they are in after the cult has left them destitute and alone. We were conditioned by the evil empire to take responsibility for everything that was wrong in our lives. We never considered that the cult leadership was misleading us or had any responsibility whatsover for the years we wasted and the state we found ourselves in when it was all over. When you have a low opinion of yourself it's hard to believe that God could find any redeeming qualities in us.
Every once in a while you meet someone special that confirms that we are not in this alone. We hope that those who read this will allow this to sink in. We are not just a bunch of bitter people that have nothing better to do than find fault with the NTCC and it's leaders.
This is as real as it gets. We are here to warn people that the NTCC is a messed up organization that is filled with corruption that starts at the very top. There is a pattern in the NTCC of sexual abuse and the abusers are allowed to get away with it, while the victims are shunned.
Mark.....well I didn't want to throw the whole biography at people at once plus I couldn't bear writing it all in one setting.
My father lost his license for 6 months so I am told. My mother is still with him. I am suppose to pretend it didn't happen and not tell anyone.
I pray that others will read this and feel the need to leave them or never join them.
Thanks for caring when I was a child. It would have to have been before 5 1/2 years old because that is how old I was when we moved to St. Louis for my parents to attend bible school. Michael Kekel came up to St.Loius with us since he had no car at that time.
I don't know what State or States everything took place in, but something else along these lines I was thinking about.....
In most states there is no statute of limitations in this kind of situation. I don't know if your mother saw all of the warning signs and just ignored everything or if she is a victim in all of this in another way. In no way would I try and tell you what to do, or offer any kind of counsel. I suppose what I'm trying to say is I'm not sure that it would serve any purpose to have your father incarcerated. I don't know. Have you thought about it at all? If you have, then I certainly can and do understand why, given the gravity of the situation. I don't know what kind of a relationship you have with your mother at this point. My guess is that it is probably "strained." I don't know if anyone with children at NTCC can even have what could be defined as a "normal" relationship with their children. I suppose what I'm trying to say is just don't expect NTCC to step up to the plate and give any help to your mother if your father goes to jail. I'm not saying that the average person won't help, but don't expect any of the people in the organization with money to help. I can clearly remember Mike "Clintonesque" Kekel saying something to the effect after a Pastor died that there were no widows in NTCC and therefore the widows of NTCC were not entitled to any help. She ended up taking a job at Walmart. Like I said, I don't know what kind of relationship you have with your mother, or if you even care at this point. I just don't know if it would serve any purpose at all to have your father incarcerated. The damage has already been done, and it would leave your mother even more vulnerable than she is now.
IT may be a good Idea to contact the Dispatch on this story. Julie, having gone through abuse when I was a child, I completely understand. I lost a child through NTCC through ignorance in having my wife soul win for those freaks when she was pregnant. When my Daughter Charity was born, that was my Independance Day from NTCC. ( years later I have no regrets!!
Jewel, Thank you for your Courage, and the strength it took, to come forward with your testimony. I knew you when I was controlled by the Borg as well. My wife and I brought your parents to church, a few times. My wife probably baby sat for you and your brother as well. Every states laws are different, and the statue of limitations may differ from state to state, you can easily look this up, on Google. The Attorney's General of the states in which this abuse occurred may offer some advise to you. Not only that, but the Attorney General of Washington State may be interested in the fact that the LEADERS, Board of directors, CEO, CFO, COB, Etc. took NO ACTION TO PROTECT YOU, AND TO TURN THE PERPETRATOR OF THESE FILTHY ACTS INTO LAW INFORCEMENT, THE COURTS, OR THE PROSECUTORS FOR THE STATE.
Julie, you deserve your day in court! You deserve to tell your story. This newspaper professional, Karen will listen to your story, and may be able to help you. yours in Christ.
Karen Peterson
karen.peterson@thenewstribune.com
The News Tribune
Julie, I believe you, and I hope you will pursue legal action against those filthy board members, and your "father", who is unworthy of that title. I am a father, and I couldn't think of a more demented, perverted, and un-godly thing than to sexually pervert that Holy relationship of a Christian father, and his son, and or daughter. We are charged by God, to be your protectors, your provider, your teacher, and above all, YOUR EXAMPLE!!! Sinners don't do those things, do they? No they don't. When phony preachers do those things, they go to jail, their spouse divorces them, and their church excommunicates them, and their spiritual leaders hold them accountable, revoking their license's!!!!! And the congregations are warned!!! And they are shunned! Not the victim of this perversion. Who helplessly has no where to turn! And those who hide these deeds should also go to jail, because for money, and numbers in church, they chose to ignore this disgusting behavior. I could say more, but what would be the use. It only goes to prove once more, how this group is a cult, and they use the holiness message to control people who are sincere. I had no real knowledge of God before I came to these people. They used our love for God, and our sincerity, to make merchandise of us all! And one day, God will open the books on all of them. All our love, Anonymous, because I am not ignorant, of These Devils Devises!
Thanks for all the comments and support.
I think of the verse I heard quite often. "Obey them that have the rule over you, and submit yourselves: for they watch for your souls, as they that must give account, that they may do it with joy, and not with grief: for that is unprofitable for you." Hebrews 13:17
Like with a lot they preached, they like to focus only on one portion of the verse. Their portion was "Obey them that have the rule over you and submit yourselves"
But what about the rest where they are suppose to be watching for THEY MUST GIVE ACCOUNT.
When my Daughter Charity was born, that was my Independance Day from NTCC. ( years later I have no regrets!!
Anon I can agree with you. I have no regrets in leaving either.
Thanks for the thought of contacting dispatch for a story!
Hugs,
Julie
Jewel, Thank you for your Courage, and the strength it took, to come forward with your testimony. I knew you when I was controlled by the Borg as well. My wife and I brought your parents to church, a few times. My wife probably baby sat for you and your brother as well.....
Thanks Anon for the kind comments. I really do appreciate them.
Also thanks for the dispatch info. I am going to try contacting her next week.
Hugs,
Julie
Anon (3) wrote...We are charged by God, to be your protectors, your provider, your teacher, and above all, YOUR EXAMPLE!!!
Anon you said!!! Yet the victims are the bad people because they expose the evil.
Hugs,
Julie
For all those that say I shouldn't speak of a preacher sin in the open because of this next scripture. I have another portion of scripture to share.
Hebrews 13:17 "Touch not mine anointed, and do my prophets no harm ."
The part I heard a lot as a kid was "Touch not mine anointed".
12 And the Lord sent Nathan unto David. And he came unto him, and said unto him, There were two men in one city; the one rich, and the other poor.
2 The rich man had exceeding many flocks and herds:
3 But the poor man had nothing, save one little ewe lamb, which he had bought and nourished up: and it grew up together with him, and with his children; it did eat of his own meat, and drank of his own cup, and lay in his bosom, and was unto him as a daughter.
4 And there came a traveller unto the rich man, and he spared to take of his own flock and of his own herd, to dress for the wayfaring man that was come unto him; but took the poor man's lamb, and dressed it for the man that was come to him.
5 And David's anger was greatly kindled against the man; and he said to Nathan, As the Lord liveth, the man that hath done this thing shall surely die:
6 And he shall restore the lamb fourfold, because he did this thing, and because he had no pity.
7 And Nathan said to David, Thou art the man. Thus saith the Lord God of Israel, I anointed thee king over Israel, and I delivered thee out of the hand of Saul;
8 And I gave thee thy master's house, and thy master's wives into thy bosom, and gave thee the house of Israel and of Judah; and if that had been too little, I would moreover have given unto thee such and such things.
9 Wherefore hast thou despised the commandment of the Lord, to do evil in his sight? thou hast killed Uriah the Hittite with the sword, and hast taken his wife to be thy wife, and hast slain him with the sword of the children of Ammon.
10 Now therefore the sword shall never depart from thine house; because thou hast despised me, and hast taken the wife of Uriah the Hittite to be thy wife.
11 Thus saith the Lord, Behold, I will raise up evil against thee out of thine own house, and I will take thy wives before thine eyes, and give them unto thy neighbour, and he shall lie with thy wives in the sight of this sun.
12 For thou didst it secretly: but I will do this thing before all Israel, and before the sun.
If you noticed in verse 7 David was anointed but yet in verse 12 Nathan you did it in secret but it isn't going to be a secret no more.
Julie
Wow, Julie, very good points. They love that touch not mine anointed scripture and they also love to pitchfork that obey them that have the rule over you scripture. Whom do they obey and to whom do they answer? They want to keep all of their sins secret, and continue on like they never happened, and when one of their victims comes forth they discredit them and make them out to be the evil one.
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