|How does your church make you feel?|
Click Here to read an excellent article about spiritual abuse.
This is another tragic story of spiritual abuse suffered by a couple in the ministry. This comes from a former ntcc Pastor and Missionary's wife.
While the ntcc does not consider a Servicemen's work overseas to be missionary work (so that the ntcc doesn't have to support [$$$] them), this couple labored in a foreign country for two years (just like missionaries) and during that time they were exploited and their personal needs were ignored to the point of personal crisis. This testimony is lengthy but on point; it will resonate with anyone who has been with this group. If you are in the ntcc read it carefully and allow it to speak to you. If you are a former member of the ntcc it will reinforce the decision you made to leave.
Unfortunately this is not an isolated incident. Others have shared bits and pieces of their own accounts that are similar to what Diana went through during her time in the ntcc. This one blog post goes a long way towards summing up what the ntcc is all about.
Diana Molino-Bullington shares the following testimony:
I'm thankful for these blogs, because, they showed me I am not alone.
Even after a year of telling Rev. Olson we couldn't handle it in England anymore, the best he could offer was, "We love you, God loves you, we are praying for you, and maybe, just maybe, you will have 100 people in service and someone might write a thousand dollar check."
Then you just press on, right?
But the fact remained, what he said never happened, and we were ready to leave.
My husband (now my ex) came to the conclusion he was not called to be a pastor, but a helper, and when he told Rev. Olson that, Rev. Olson said that at the next conference, we will get to talk with Pastor Davis about it. My husband was instructed to write down his thoughts on a piece of paper. We were invited to the Lodge for the first time, and there was a large group of church leaders and pastors and pastor's wives. We sat there in this awkward group of two circles, one with men, one with women, and it was mostly quiet. Pastor looked at the paper, and looked back up at my husband, but never said a word. At the end, Pastor Davis said goodnight to us and he never talked with us about it. We went back to England never having that talk we were told we would have, and Rev. Olson said that if Pastor didn't say anything to us, it's because God didn't tell him anything to say. Well, that told us enough.
They had no one to replace us when our two years was about up. They had plenty of time to work something out. He even asked us to extend our visas another two years! After we were adamant about not extending, he explained that they would've had someone sooner, but he said they still had to replace them and the ones replacing them still had to be replaced! There was a problem because someone that was supposed to replace someone, had left NTCC. Finally, my husband said he would extend, but I refused. Rev. Olson asked, "What about the church?" And I responded, "What about us?" Then Pastor Davis said they would close the church. This did not change our minds. This was about one month before our visas were to expire and we were told to sell everything, including the car, and moldy beds and stained sheets that were left to us. We stayed with a brother until it was time to leave. All Olson had a problem with at that time was the fact that he would've liked us to get a little more money for the stuff we sold to cover our plane tickets.
Later we found out through Pastor Davis himself, that the church in England was going downhill even before we got there. Before going, he had told us it's full time work, making it seem self sufficient, but then he admitted to knowing otherwise. He knew the 20-30 some church members were mostly all PCS'ing or getting out of the military about the same time we arrived there. He knew and Pelliccia knew. Quite a few people did not understand why we went, even Mike Kekel said he originally didn't want us to go, and he even offered my husband a lay pastor position back in Graham. Mind you, this was after we said we were not coming back to Graham. He tried buying us with a position, which we did not want...by then, we were so sick of door knocking, to be brutally honest, how could we motivate a team to go!? We just wanted to see our family, the ones who were there for us emotionally through the whole time. Olson even asked me if I agree with my husband, and I told him I am 100% with my husband. Then, Sis Olson asked, for the first time in two years, to talk with me, and she cried out pleading for us to stay, but the damage was already done.
We began to read these blogs and realized many other good people were leaving, like the Reeds and the Butlers, and we saw people weren't afraid to question the leaders of this organization. We began to see very similar stories, how NTCC draws people in, and then takes advantage of them. We started looking back, to the beginning, and realized there were so many red flags that we ignored. Rev. Webster and his wife, in Germany, pastoring, even though Pastor Davis had said that Rev Webster told him he's a helper, and we thought that could be us, doing what the org wants, instead of what God wants.
I spoke with Tanya Kekel, telling her I had decided to start working a job, because I decided it's not a sin, just NTCC policy. She wanted us to come back "home" to Graham. I told her that I don't feel like being preached at about working and she said "many women here work". I said that may be true, but it is looked down at and preached against. She said it's never been preached against, at least by her husband. At that moment, I knew she was full of it. She knows very well what is taught. She had asked me if she wronged me, and I said no. I told her some of what happened and she said, "It seems your problem is with Rev. Olson, not us.
"Later, someone tells me that Tanya said to them, when they were leaving NTCC, "Just don't do what Diana did, she said I did nothing wrong, but then talks bad about us". Tanya knows very well, it's the organization, NTCC, that wronged us, and she is a big part of that. Meron and Patricka won't talk with me because I am a part of these blogs and because I talk against the org. Those two were my closest friends while in, and they know very well the pain I went through in England, and still tell me I am wrong for telling my story. Even when I decided to appease them and I said I would stop, neither kept their word. So, I decided to stop trying with them. Funny, they want me to not tell my experience, but they can talk all they want about me. I remember Patricka calling me in England, telling me, in almost a whisper, that we are allowed to go skating now. I wondered if Sis Webster knew. How silly, and yet, this is life in the NTCC, secretly lifting rules for some, and not telling others. I would never have known I could go skating if it wasn't for her telling me. That was a big deal to me, that if they are going to disallow us to do something, when they change their mind, they should tell us.
I decided to email my first pastor and his wife, because most of the red flags we noticed, were from them, and here are parts of the email:
"Someone told me that you said that we would probably have made it if Bro Bullington wasn't such a perfectionist. I told my ex what was told to me, and he said that "maybe we wouldn't have gone through all that we went through, if you didn't say in front of him, "I'm just waiting for Bro Bullington to realize he's called to preach".
You told him things like, "I was praying for a leader" and lifted him up so much and he wanted to please you and God, and did whatever you wanted him to do.
Even when it came to me.
From the very beginning, you told the congregation that if we want to date, we should ask the pastor, because he knows the people.
So, what do we do? Of course, we ask you. Why? You said if the pastor says to break that piano, you do it because he said to. You taught us to follow you blindly.
I remember first asking about Bro CJ Wallace. You quickly advised against dating him and plenty of times it was taught against any "mixed" relationship. Then I asked about Bro Bullington.
I definitely found him attractive, but really, I wanted to focus on God. But you taught so much about "you shouldn't go to bible school single". You put us together as a soul winning team. You had him pick me up for church instead of the Prentice's. You'd invite me and him out to eat.
You put little things in our heads.
Like, when we went on our first date, and my ex didn't want to continue a relationship with me, and you told him he needs to apologize to me.
Then you told me he's waiting for me to ask him on a date. I even wanted you two there. Haha. I think though that that's because you told me a story of someone having their pastor there on their first date, probably putting it in my head so that I do the same.
I specifically remember, when I was doing the Atkins, and wanted to have a cheat snack, and you said in front of me to your wife, "I'm trying to do something here." You wanted me to continue losing weight.
I knew from that moment, you both were matchmaking us. I remember you telling your wife, "we're not supposed to be matchmaking". She'd agree.
Fiddler on the Roof MatchMaker on YouTube
But still, when we were considering not being together, and just being friends, you'd put us together soul winning. You made us a team, even though, you both know, that would be unacceptable in Graham, to put a single lady and a single man together soul winning. I mean, the singles couldn't even talk unless they had permission.
When you would tell us things like "any two Christians could work anything out" you were putting into our heads that, even though we don't feel like we should be together, we could make it work, for "the ministry", but it was really for "your own selfish desires".
I know the pressure the org puts on you guys out in the field, to send people to Graham, and a married couple at that!? Oh yeah, how exciting it is when a married couple shows up.
When someone spoke against you two at Graham, I always defended you guys, knowing full well that I was lying for you, but my husband would say that we don't want to get you in trouble, and if we say anything, we would be looked at as trouble makers.
|In ntcc, it's ok to|
have your eyes open -
as long as you keep your
We sat in Pastor Davis' classes, and many times, he would teach how we, as pastors, are not supposed to get so involved in people's lives. Many times I wanted to tell him that everything he just said we shouldn't do, you guys did. He'd say, "don't go do laundry at their houses", and that's what we did. He'd say, "don't go on base with them" and that's what we did. Remember that, when I said I couldn't bring you to the commissary anymore, because we were making a lie? There were signs at the cash registers prohibiting civilians from doing their shopping there. How could we justify that!? Just because other pastor's wives do it? Funny how NTCC can make exceptions when it benefits them, especially financially.
I loved you guys and I know your love for me was genuine.
You guys did help me, a lot, and always made me feel safe and accepted. I will never forget you two being like parents to me. If I ever had the chance to sit down and talk with you guys, I would love to.
But, you know the marriage between my ex and I was a mistake.
You know you match made us.
|That Look on Your Face When You Realize That|
Your Cult Leader Has Matched You up for Life With
The Person They Thought was Right for You
Please, if you don't agree, tell me, but if you are honest with yourselves, I think you will know the truth.
You didn't want us telling our family, that we were even dating, because they would talk us out of it. We didn't tell our family till two days before the wedding, when you told us it was okay. The church members were shocked because they didn't even know we were dating.
We suffered because of it.
Chickens Break Up Rabbits' Routine: on YouTube
In the following video, two potential love bunnies are following nature and are cavorting, or, as the bible says, "sporting" [Gen 26:8]. Suddenly two meddlesome chickens break up the rabbits' routine, adding a few extra pecks for good measure. This chicken and rooster are just like so many ntcc so-called 'leaders' who interfere with the natural order of relationships in which two adults think they like each other and proceed to date to determine if they want to marry or not. This dating process should be fun; and as Christians it can be innocent too. But ntcc so-called 'leaders' don't trust God enough to lead you Himself, so they match-make, interfering with God's work and the natural order of life. They are just like the chickens in this video as they break up the fun and then throw in a few mean pecks to establish dominance. They then strut off, shaking their tail feathers with not so much as a look back or a by-your-leave. Don't expect an apology from them. They are certain they are doing "the work of the Lawd". But they aren't. You just don't see this relationship manipulation in the New Testament.-- DNA
Our relationship was more of a "business" partnership. And it's because of you two convincing us we need to be together. Scaring us into not going to bible school single.
Yes, we made our own decisions, but we were definitely played by you guys.
As you know, we are divorced, and I know that God knows what we went through. I want to forgive you guys, but it's hard. I'm angry and hurt.
My Ex started drinking after we left NTCC, he was mad at God that he had failed. He never meant to hurt me, but he started hitting on women in front of me, making me cry in front of his friends, and it all goes back to you guys matchmaking us. That's why I don't hold any of that against him; he was a product of NTCC and felt like a failure when he wasn't able to live up to what his pastor told him he was.
It was actually in England, while still in NTCC, we talked about divorce. We got back to the states in 2011, and by 2015, we finalized it. We knew it was all a sham, our marriage, from the very beginning. All the red flags we ignored. Things like this are why we believe NTCC truly is a cult. The tactics used to take advantage of people that just want to please the Lord and make it to heaven. There's a lot of good people in NTCC, but the persuasive tactics to get what they want for their program, supersedes what God wants in someone's life, and it's wrong.
You even convinced us not to have kids, "just in case they need us for servicemen's work". You made the Prentice's out to be disobedient when they had their kid. I remember, the Olson's were there, and the Prentice's were made out to be disobedient, because of it, saying that she is hindering him from his ministry.
Everyone that I have told this to, cannot believe a church would encourage their people to not have kids. Yes, we understand the reasons for not having a kid in a servicemen's home and we would explain that.
|If Children Hinder the Work of God,|
How Did Jesus Find Time for Them?
When kids started popping up everywhere in Graham, starting around 2008 or so, could you imagine all the jealousy and hurt that the older women, that didn't have kids, felt? Now it's okay to have kids, and they are popping them out everywhere.
My Ex and I tried for kids after leaving NTCC, and had complications. I HATE that I didn't get to have a kid before now. It hurts. The Bible speaks of children being a blessing, and I may never experience that, all because it didn't match up with YOUR agenda and the org's needs.
Even when Pastor Davis asked me if I want a kid, I said no. I knew, at that moment, it was a lie, a lie that I believed because I let you guys convince me that if I wanted a kid, I could possibly ruin my husband's chances at a ministry.
We just wanted to be usable, and in the end, we were used.
Yeah, we're taught that we need to encourage ourselves, but God gave pastor's for a reason, and sometimes, they are too controlling, and sometimes, they are not there for you at all. I got to experience both.
I will NEVER step foot back into an NTCC.
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Is my church abusive? Read More
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Is my church abusive? Read More