Subject: some of the scrambled sexual dealings as an adult in NTCC
I am now going to share that the sexual abuse didn’t stop when I turned eighteen.
I got away from Kekel for a time living in San Antonio Texas. The next time he got a hold of me sickens me and makes me wonder how he pulled it off so openly. It was a conference on the campground. My son was only 4 months old. I was informed that Kekel wanted to see me in the Lodge. I was surprised he wanted to see me there since Grant who was 2 months old at this time, Tanya, and Kekel were staying in a motorhome on the campground. I didn’t want to go see him. I wanted to get back to my baby. I had to leave him in a motel room with many other children and was upset that I was being made to be away from him plus I was nursing him. I had to have him picked up. The evil wicked man was keeping me from my baby.
 |
| The Lodge where, Julie alleges, Mike Kekel Raped Julie while Mike's wife Tanya and son Grant stayed in a Recreational Vehicle that was parked on the slab (lower right of pic). |
 |
| Close-Up Pic Google's View of The Lodge Red Balloon Marks Slab For R.V. Parking. Cursor Marks The Lodge Front Entrance. Coordinate View On Google: Close-Up or Whole Camp |
I got to the Lodge only a few leaders seem to be around if there were others they must have been in their rooms. Kekel took me to a room. I don’t know if it was his or not. He ordered me to be quiet since people were resting. If I had been raised right I would have known to scream at that moment but I knew nothing about protecting myself or what my rights were even. He had me have intercourse with him. He said Tanya wasn’t ready for sex yet and with the burdens he had to carry as a minister he needed relief. He went on to say God had spoken to him and said to call for me that he might have his needs met. Then he would be able to be a better leader to the people. He tried to French kissed but I wasn’t willing to return it so he told me I was going to do something really special for you but you just lost out. When I finally left the room there didn’t seem to be anyone around. Because of this disgusting creep my baby had to wait on me.
Nighttime insulting session (church) came and I didn’t want to go. I knew there was no choice so I went. Kekel greeted me so cheesily “God bless you Sis.Ridgeway so good to see you this conference.” I wanted to hide I felt so dirty yet I had to pretend all was okay that I was happy. I had to act in the service excited jumping with joy of the Lord. All that craziness. I can’t count the many times I would be hurt with all the stuff they would expect one to do in a service. Hello I had physical limitations. I lived in fear of being called to go to him again but he didn’t ask for me again that conference. Ralph did though. Davis and Olson like clockwork had to insult me and put me down. I was stopping the ministry where I was at. I felt like such trash. I was told as a child I was hurting Ralph’s ministry now I am hurting someone else ministry. Davis also told me that conference that he didn’t even know why I was born I was such a burden and all I did destroying the work of the Lord. Kekel was there when he said this and threw in his two-cents. Kekel said it would have been better that someone had aborted her retarded people like her don’t have a right to be around all they do is take up space they are a waste of time and money. I felt like the dumbest person on earth. I was so mixed up; was I wrong for not wanting sex with Kekel, was I wrong for not giving in to the kissing, was I wrong somehow? I have wondered all my life why I was born. It is an awful feeling to think I was mistake. I felt this my whole life even as an adult. I shouldn’t have been born.
I didn’t want Ralph and Joan having contact with my son but didn’t know how to fully stop it so when Ralph and Joan wanted time with him at conference the best I could do was make sure I was around as much as I possible could. One of the days at the conference I wasn’t feeling good I think now it was just the stress I was under. Donny had taken our son out for a little while and I laid to rest. Ralph and Joan were in the same motel. I was laying down when I got a knock on my door. I didn’t look out just opened it up. Ralph was standing there. He said I am coming to spend time in your room since Joan is resting. I said well I am resting too. He pushed his way in and said I know Donny told me he was going out so you could rest. I am now regretting wanting to rest and even more opening the door at all. Once again we had intercourse after he made me mouth him a little. I want to die. I want life to be over. My life is just one disgusting mess. No one will ever understand how I feel. No one will ever care. He left and I began to cry then I got mad at myself for the tears. I put myself back together as I think why does this have to happen. I didn’t know I had rights I didn’t know I could demand these men to leave me alone and that they had stop. I didn’t know they had no right to control me and force me to do anything.
to be continued
Can you see how it would impact a girl raised by sexual predators in the NTCC? Can you understand that her whole world revolved around NTCC, its rules, its people, and its CULTure? During this time the internet was called the sinnernet and was preached against. During this time the television was called the devilvision and preached against. During this time nobody did anything unless they first got permission from the NTCC 'leaders'. Can you see how that would isolate an abuse victim who had been raised in the NTCC and make it impossible for her to understand how wrong all of this was? These controls created and enforced by NTCC CULTivated this CULTure where sexual abuse thrived and victims suffered with no way out.
Update 4-9-2014
Anonymous said...
Thank you Julie for writing so much about your life. I left NTCC with my wife and children but have been struggling greatly. My family has missed our friends who say they won't have us confuse their children by having us in their lives. We must go back to NTCC to have our friends. I thought about going back thinking I was hurting my family by leaving. I began to pray God I need a clear answer what am as a leader of my family to do? I didn't know anything about this blog. Since we lived in a new area I went to look up the local NTCC church I ended up on this site. I read every article you have written and for the first time in years I felt the peace of God. Julie you truly have Jesus your responses scream it loud and clear. I am sorry what each of the women on this blog have gone through. I shared with my wife what I found and she began to cry said Thank you Lord for getting us out together and keeping us safe. I say even if there is only a handful of victims I would not want to risk my children becoming a part of the handful.
Julie God through you saved our family and now even our children are finally at peace making new Christians friends that have more caring than they could have imagined. You may have to repeat your articles to make sure all see them. I have daughters I would be angry if someone ever hurt them. My wife and I hate what you have gone through but we are forever grateful you like little David stood up and said I will face the giant.
Tuesday, April 08, 2014 2:55:00 PM
Julie said,
Anonymous said....
As I read the comments seeing lives effected for God by what is written I say it did happen but God is using it now for his glory.
For of him, and through him, and to him, are all things: to whom be glory for ever. Amen. Romans 11:36 [link]
God is truly at work and only He can change lives. All Glory belongs to Him. I love Jesus and I would never want to live without Him.
Hugs,
Julie
Wednesday, April 09, 2014 8:31:00 AM
UPDATE:
Anonymous said...
Oh this is what happened that day. I was around that day she was told Kekel wanted to see her at the Lodge. Her son was just an infant. I didn’t see or hear her called to go see him but after she had already gone I was asked to wait for her. I was to take her to the motel where her baby was when the meeting was over. What I am about to say it hard for me to even type.
Julie got out. She didn’t seem okay in fact seemed pretty shock up. She walk or more stumbled to my car. I said Sis. Ridgeway what is wrong what did you get in trouble for this time. I really didn’t know Julie at all but I had witnessed her being told before this day that one or more of the leaders wanted to speak to her. She got into the car she seemed in a daze. I had to help her get her seat belt on because she seemed unable to focus on the task at hand. What is wrong with this girl something isn’t right?
She starts rocking back and forth mumbling like she isn’t present at all. She said things like I don’t want to do this. I’m dumb stupid I’m yucky. I don’t like the bedrooms. Why must this happen? I want it to stop. It’s scary. She continued with I hate myself I hate myself. I am going to hell where I belong.
I called her by name finally getting her attention I asked her what was this meeting about it jars her. Now I wish I hadn’t jarred her in her daze she might have said more. She tells me it is a sin to tell and my baby needs me; she goes silent the rest of the car ride. The rocking continues and she began to do something strange. She began to wipe at her tongue like something was on it she couldn’t get off. Now I am thinking she was bothered by the French kissing.
We get to the motel her baby is crying his head off. She picks him up and the mother in her kicks in she started singing to him softly. He calms right down. For one that was so young and so hurt she was an amazing mother. We part ways at this point.
I am bothered by that day. I go to the night service and then fellowship. I decide to go talk to Kekel the next day to find out what was happening because I didn’t like seeing Julie this way. I told him the next day it was really important that I speak to him. He agrees to talk to me after the service. We check up with each other after the service. I told him of taking Julie to the motel after their meeting and that Julie didn’t seem okay. He immediately got an angry look on his face. He asked me if she said what the meeting was about I said no. He seems a little calmer. He asked me a bunch of questions. I answered.
Later that night Davis came and talked to me asking me what Julie said? He told me not to believe what comes out of her mouth only 1/10 of what she says is true. He said she is so dumb sometimes she doesn’t even remember her name. I thought is she mentally messed up is that what I witnessed it still bothered me that he said this of her. She was married yet I even got grilled by Ralph St. Clair too. I should have woke up right there but instead I starting believing Julie was the problem.
Ralph St. Clair must have gotten a hold of Julie the day after Kekel did because she was worse that night walking around in a daze not really talking with anyone. In the motel that night her son was a sleep at her feet in his car seat. Everyone was laughing and joking. There sat Julie looking distressed very scared, and so sad. I am so mad at myself for not reaching out. Maybe a hug would have let her know someone really cared.
Don and Ange thanks for having an enough faith to allow Julie to write on this blog. Even though you didn’t witness what happened to her personally I am glad you loved her enough to give her a voice. Finally someone standing up for her and trusting her. I hope your love and support doesn’t leave her no matter what. She needs beautiful Christian friends as you because she probably doesn’t have many true friends. She is lucky to have you so very lucky!
Friday, April 11, 2014 6:32:00 PM
We wanted people to see this comment in red by the person who gave Julie a ride from the Lodge back to the hotel where her son Thomas was waiting for her.
Related Posts:
Women and Children In NTCC - Here - A Series in Mobile Format
201 comments:
1 – 200 of 201 Newer› Newest»When I first read about this part of Julie's life, I believed immediately how this could happen in the Lodge during a conference.
During these years the board members' wives would pile into a church van and head out to the outlet stores to do Verna and Tanya's favorite thing - shop, shop, shop!
That meant hours where only the men would be around in the Lodge.
People also need to remember that these ntcc 'leaders' have absolute power. They say "GO!" and people go. They say "BE HERE." and people will Be there. It's that simple.
In private facebook messages I questioned Julie extensively about her memories of this event. Since I also lived in the Lodge during winter months spent at the campground, I am quite familiar with its layout.
We know this is a lot to digest. That's why we have broken up her e-mail into more than one post. We believe her. That's why we post about what happened to her.
These men are so disgusting. How can they sleep at night with all the evil they have committed? Who wants to be married to such men?
Julie someone needs to love and value you. It hurts my heart to know you have suffered.
Thank you Don and Ange for helping her rise from the suffering. You are so faithful to Julie. You said in your last post she is your sister. I hope you are truly family to her. It doesn't take human blood to be contented. I wouldn't want to be without my large wonderful family.
Joan St. Clair if you were a true mother you would have divorced this evil man. It doesn't matter when you knew he had done something to your daughter. Just the mention of him even touching her once should have made you run.
You stay which shows you love the abuser more than the victim.
Don and Ange the fact you care for Julie as you do blesses my heart. It would sadden my heart that if you hadn't let her speak out against these horrible men she would go the rest of her life with a heavy heart never knowing someone loves her.
People also need to remember that these ntcc 'leaders' have absolute power. They say "GO!" and people go. They say "BE HERE." and people will Be there. It's that simple.
Yes you don't learn to use your brain for they do all your thinking for you. It makes for a shocking experience when one gets away from these people and make the first decision on their own finding their brain actually function on its own.
One thing that is very difficult about being raised in NTCC when one decides to leave there isn't anything to fall back on. A NTCC child has nothing to remember from outside the group. The whole world is like a foreign land with a language they have never heard or spoke.
Hugs,
Julie
Pop Gaylord would be rolling over in his grave! How much more of this is going to come out?
That's a fair question, Anonymous.
I estimate that we are about 1/3 of the way through this e-mail. If the rest of the material is broken down into similar blog post sizes, it's fair to say another three or four posts may be necessary to cover the events and people involved over the course of time being discussed in just this one e-mail.
I want to thank people for expressing their concern for Julie and support for all the victims in the NTCC grinder.
I know that many of you are reading and have not commented; and I understand that.
When I first began learning about all of this, I felt so overwhelmed by grief and compassion. [It still makes me cry; and I am weeping as I type.] I wanted to help, but had no idea where to begin.
God has certainly helped me through this. And Julie's courage and compassion for souls has been such a fine example of Christianity that has also helped me do what I can. I also draw strength and inspiration from the friendship and bravery of all the other girls who have opened up about their NTCC eXperiences. And as always Don too amazes me with his love for God and souls. And we have some silent partners who wage war from their knees. We are thankful for all of this support!!
We purposely broke down this material so people can begin to understand the scope of how severe and long-lasting this abuse has been. We want people to know what the NTCC 'leaders' are truly like - how they think, how they act, how they treat the defenseless.
Ultimately we will all have to answer to God for what we know and what we have done or not done.
We each have the power to affect the outcome in this matter. Consider what God would have you do.
Love in Christ,
Angela
Anonymous said,
"These men are so disgusting. How can they sleep at night with all the evil they have committed? Who wants to be married to such men?"
Ange says,
Good points. If you've been around the blogs for any length of time, you may be familiar with the Nyquil discussions. Evidently rodger davis had an inordinately high number of empty Nyquil bottles in his trash; that prompted these discussions about him abusing it to put himself to sleep. (It wasn't until quite recently that the pharmaceutical manufacturer came up with their sleep-enhancement product, ZzQuil.
As for the women who remain with these fellas... My opinion is that they are completely materialistic [Christian words fail here to describe them]. The kind of creatures that don't care who suffers, as long as they can buy what they want and have every one bowing down and licking the soles of their feet (or, as in the case of Joan St. Clair rubbing her bare buttocks as she required of her daughter)!
To me these women personify the spirit of Jezebel in all its ugliness.
I always felt that we as Christian ministers were to be servants. In Louisville, KY I got in trouble with my husband Eric Barden because I wanted to stay and vacuum the church after service. He snapped at me, "Do you think Sister Davis would do that?"
Well NO! But who in their right mind as a Christian would want to be like that materialistic ... ?
If we are to lead, aren't we supposed to be in front and the first to serve others?
NTCC has this so backwards. Their 'leaders' are behind the sheep cracking the whip; demanding to be waited on hand and foot. Clean my mansion. Mow my acres of yards. Wash my luxury vehicles for me. Do my grocery shopping for me.
They try to dress-up their actions by labeling it as "you are being a blessing to the man of Gawd". But that is a lie. God was a servant of all. If we claim the status of being "of God" then we should act like He did and serve others!
Anonymous said,
Julie someone needs to love and value you. It hurts my heart to know you have suffered.
Thank you Don and Ange for helping her rise from the suffering. You are so faithful to Julie. You said in your last post she is your sister. I hope you are truly family to her. ...
Thanks for your comment Anonymous. You are correct, Julie does deserve to be loved and valued - cherished. It has also broken our hearts to have learned how many people including Julie have suffered due to the false doctrines and abusive CULTure of the NTCC. But you don't need to thank us, Anonymous, for helping her rise - God did that. And besides all that, we count ourselves lucky and blessed to have friends like Julie and her daughter Kay and the many other souls who have shared their lives with us. We are indeed family. :o)
When I was writing that last comment I was starting to feel like Paul must have felt at the end of his epistles - wanting to give a shout out to all the great folks we have in our lives. So, from Archippus to Zenas - [ and you know who you are ], we love you all and covet your prayers. We thank God for each of you and look forward to the times when we will get to see each other face to face! ;-)
As I read and re-read these post, I think if the people that are guilty by association. Like the person who went and told Julie that kekel wanted to speak to her. I mean, right now that person is reading that he was a par taker on the sin committed by kekel I mean come on how is it that this person wouldn't put 2 & 2 together that kekel asking to see Julie alone at the lodge wasn't kind of strange? Wow!
Glad that Julie is free.
Julie I want you to know you have some of the most profound courage I have ever seen. I feel like since a wimp for not having the courage like you. You not only have spoke out you are even willing to use your name. I pray for you all the time. Sorry I shy from directly contacting anyone since I don't like to think of the past at all.
Just to clear something up:
The Kayd who was posting comments on the previous thread is not Julie's daughter. I don't know who Kayd is; but I know it is not Julie's daughter Kay.
* Big Smile *
wonder what tonya thinksof this?
This is simply heartbreak. It makes me cry for Julie, Lisa, Lori, Pam, and all the victims yet to have spoken. Is it even right for a grown man to cry this much? The tears won't stop. I was in this organization and gave money to these creeps.
Thank you Julie for writing so much about your life. I left NTCC with my wife and children but have been struggling greatly. My family has missed our friends who say they won't have us confuse their children by having us in their lives. We must go back to NTCC to have our friends. I thought about going back thinking I was hurting my family by leaving. I began to pray God I need a clear answer what am as a leader of my family to do? I didn't know anything about this blog. Since we lived in a new area I went to look up the local NTCC church I ended up on this site. I read every article you have written and for the first time in years I felt the peace of God. Julie you truly have Jesus your responses scream it loud and clear. I am sorry what each of the women on this blog have gone through. I shared with my wife what I found and she began to cry said Thank you Lord for getting us out together and keeping us safe. I say even if there is only a handful of victims I would not want to risk my children becoming a part of the handful.
Julie God through you saved our family and now even our children are finally at peace making new Christians friends that have more caring than they could have imagined. You may have to repeat your articles to make sure all see them. I have daughters I would be angry if someone ever hurt them. My wife and I hate what you have gone through but we are forever grateful you like little David stood up and said I will face the giant.
Anonymous,
Thank you for your comment. I felt the Spirit of God bearing witness to what you have written. We pray that the peace of God will continually reign in your hearts and home. Thank God He has delivered your whole family. We think you will find God is much larger than NTCC allowed Him to be. His people are everywhere. May His grace guide your family in your new relationships and life for Him.
Anonymous said,
Joan St. Clair if you were a true mother you would have divorced this evil man. It doesn't matter when you knew he had done something to your daughter. Just the mention of him even touching her once should have made you run.
You stay which shows you love the abuser more than the victim.
Ange says,
Sadly, Joan herself has abused Julie in many ways. Ultimately I believe that Joan doesn't have the first clue about love. I think she probably doesn't even love herself and as such turns that self-loathing against Julie. I suspect Joan too was abused and is possibly still being abused by people in her life like Ralph St. Clair.
However, as some other folks have pointed out, that does not excuse her behavior. There is no excuse for hurting a child. Joan needs to repent.
I have read what Julie has written and to grieves my heart. I have shared with others some don't believe it or don't think it is of God. As I read the comments seeing lives effected for God by what is written I say it did happen but God is using it now for his glory. Julie did nothing wrong but she is allowing the ugliness to be used for the glory of God. This no one can deny.
I think she stepped out in obedience to God not for another reason. Look at her shining light before you decide how to feel about what she writes.
Anonymous said,
Don and Ange the fact you care for Julie as you do blesses my heart. It would sadden my heart that if you hadn't let her speak out against these horrible men she would go the rest of her life with a heavy heart never knowing someone loves her.
Anonymous, thanks for your comment. We are so lucky to have Julie as a friend. She is very special, very thoughtful, concerned for souls, kind and giving. It still blows us away how anyone who has gone through these things can be saved and have so much grace - truly only God can do that.
We are thankful that she and the other folks who have done so did come forward to share their stories. Through them God has opened so many doors for people to find true freedom in Christ.
These men shouldn't be around kids. Whether it is one victim or 50 victims they can't be trusted. Some say it is just one victim that would be like saying this guy in prison only killed one person so we are going to put a child in his cell with him. Now if we heard he had killed 50 we wouldn't allow it.
Julie is yelling please don't risk another victim. Don't let another child go through what I went through. We may not have seen what she has gone through but we have seen the double standards with the other wrongs. She is just letting us know this is just the smoke of the underground fire.
Anonymous said,
I have read what Julie has written and to grieves my heart. I have shared with others some don't believe it or don't think it is of God. As I read the comments seeing lives effected for God by what is written I say it did happen but God is using it now for his glory. Julie did nothing wrong but she is allowing the ugliness to be used for the glory of God. This no one can deny.
I think she stepped out in obedience to God not for another reason. Look at her shining light before you decide how to feel about what she writes
This is such a good comment I just wanted to post it a second time for everyone to see. :o)
Anonymous said...
These men are so disgusting.
Yes they are disgusting I feel so sick to my stomach just thinking about it.
Hugs,
Julie
Anonymous said...
Thank you Don and Ange for helping her rise from the suffering. You are so faithful to Julie. You said in your last post she is your sister. I hope you are truly family to her.
Though God could have raised me without the help of others he chooses to use those willing to minister to those that many have turned from. Don and Ange are those type of people that God uses because they allow God to work through them but they couldn't do it without the strength of the Lord.
Yes they have truly been family to me. Which has meant so much to my daughter and I.
Hugs,
Julie
Anonymous said...
Pop Gaylord would be rolling over in his grave!
Yes he would not like what has happened. He was such a wonderful and caring man so was Mom Gaylord. They were true ministers of God. I miss them so much!
Hugs,
Julie
Anonymous Anonymous said...
Don and Ange the fact you care for Julie as you do blesses my heart. It would sadden my heart that if you hadn't let her speak out against these horrible men she would go the rest of her life with a heavy heart never knowing someone loves her.
I am glad it blesses your heart. It means so much as they care about everyone. They share Jesus' love with all which blesses my heart.
And I, if I be lifted up from the earth, will draw all men unto me. John 12:32
They truly do lift up Jesus for the whole world to see for it is Jesus everyone needs. It is the Jesus in them that changed my life.
I have a long way to go in healing but I am starting to see the light shine just a little brighter.
Hugs,
Julie
Anonymous Anonymous said...
Thank you Julie for writing so much about your life. I left NTCC with my wife and children but have been struggling greatly. My family has missed our friends who say they won't have us confuse their children by having us in their lives. We must go back to NTCC to have our friends. I thought about going back thinking I was hurting my family by leaving. I began to pray God I need a clear answer what am as a leader of my family to do? I didn't know anything about this blog. Since we lived in a new area I went to look up the local NTCC church I ended up on this site. I read every article you have written and for the first time in years I felt the peace of God.
My heart jumps for joy reading your comment. I thank the Lord for lead and guiding you. I feel humbly privileged to have a small part in you being free and at peace. It makes me cry tears of joy knowing your whole family is out together. May God be with you and may this be the best year of your family's life.
Hugs,
Julie
Anonymous said...
These men shouldn't be around kids.
I agree they shouldn't be around children. I pray parents will protect their innocent children.
Hugs,
Julie
Anonymous said....
As I read the comments seeing lives effected for God by what is written I say it did happen but God is using it now for his glory.
For of him, and through him, and to him, are all things: to whom be glory for ever. Amen. Romans 11:36
God is truly at work and only He can change lives. All Glory belongs to Him. I love Jesus and I would never want to live without Him.
Hugs,
Julie
You are astonishing. How do you make it with a disability? I don't think I could do what you do. How do you trust God? I feel so bad for you.
Julie, you courage is beyond comprehension, I read through your testimony, and it is hard to put into words an adequate response. How could these people, who claimed to be so holy, and so pure, live such a disgusting hypocrisy? I was so blind, and wish I could have been there for you, and helped you.
These people think that they have gotten away with this filthy conduct, but they are wrong.
How do you make it with a disability? I don't think I could do what you do.
Well all I can say is God is what gets me through. I can’t say I don’t get annoyed with the disability sometimes. The days that the pain is the greatest is when I am the most annoyed. I have seen God use my disability for His glory so I rest in the fact that I am the way I need to be at this point to bring God glory. I would love to be healed one day but more important is to be whatever God needs me to be for lost souls. My disability won’t keep me from heaven but men and women without Jesus will be.
I can’t say I have arrived for it is a struggle at times but I am thankful for those willing to support me on this journey. I need it very much.
And he said unto me, My grace is sufficient for thee: for my strength is made perfect in weakness. Most gladly therefore will I rather glory in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me.
II Corinthians 12:9
Hugs,
Julie
Julie I am just astonished. To read of what you endured and how you have accepted God's help, His way and in His time is amazing. You shine such a Godly example for all to see, Thank You. Keep fighting the good fight!
Julie I am so mad at what men have done to you. I would understand if you never wanted another man in your life. I believe God understands too. It is okay to want other things in place of a man. You are a wonderful example of a loving and caring Godly woman. I hope you find what you need in life and know God is pleased with you no matter the Christian critics. I am happily married to a wonderful man but you haven't been as blessed as me which has got to sadden God's heart for you are his child created in his image.
Call your state senator or congressional rep.
Anonymous said.....
How could these people, who claimed to be so holy, and so pure, live such a disgusting hypocrisy? I was so blind, and wish I could have been there for you, and helped you.
I believe they have closed their conscience thinking they are above the judgment of God with the position they have called themselves to be in. Just like anyone they must answer to God for what they do and say.
They blinded so many this grieves my heart. You say you wish you could have been there and helped me. This touches my heart that you feel this way. I say to that you can be there now being willing to comment is a great help to me. Even when people comment lost for words when there is true care it comes through to the heart. The wounded heart doesn't require flowery words just someone willing to reach out in love.
Hugs,
Julie
Anonymous said...
Keep fighting the good fight!
Thanks for the encouraging words that are so greatly appreciated.
Hugs,
Julie
Anonymous said...
Julie I am so mad at what men have done to you. I would understand if you never wanted another man in your life. I believe God understands too. It is okay to want other things in place of a man. You are a wonderful example of a loving and caring Godly woman. I hope you find what you need in life and know God is pleased with you no matter the Christian critics.
I appreciate you being mad on my behalf at what has been done to me.
As far as what I want or don't want. I simple want what God would have for me He truly is the best judge of what I need or who I need in life. Yes people have robbed me of the blessing of a wonderful marriage but I have been abundantly blest in so many ways. I believe no matter how bad someone has it there is always without fail someone that has it worse. I have blessings that others dream to have.
I struggle to trust sometimes when the days seem dark but as I fumble my way through this thing called life I believe God isn't done yet. At times I fail to believe He will get things done and worry takes over my mind especially with the negativity that gets throw my way every day but I am thankful for people that reach out with simple yet special positive comments in love it keeps me going in life.
Hugs,
Julie
Anonymous said,
wonder what tonya thinks of this?
Ange says,
Perhaps someone should ask her.
Anonymous said
These men are so disgusting. How can they sleep at night with all the evil they have committed? Who wants to be married to such men?
Ange says,
Maybe somebody should go up to Tanya and tell her
She needs to find a "Real Man Of God!"
Hey, Doug Sewell, Why don't you give Tanya Kekel the card to your divorce lawyer that you hired to get rid of your first NTCC Bride, Cindy from Mexico, Missouri New Testament Christian Church?
I know how you like handing out those cards for your divorce lawyer. Eric Barden told me you were helping him like that. :o)
I'm kinda curious, Doug. Did you disfellowship Eric when he left NTCC, like you dumped your wife whom you vowed before God to love, cherish, and honor "'Til Death Do You Part?"
You know, those vows from a so-called preacher should mean something. Otherwise you're just a LIAR.
"HELLO!"
Julie you have made me realize I need to step up be a better father. I have spent too much time being minister following their rules that I have nelgected my kids. Maybe I need to leave and just be a father and husband instead. Julie please pray I feel so helpless and weak.
I raised active kids, we took them to the theam parks, Disneyland, skate parks, on bikecycles, we rode motorcycles, went camping, ice skating, skiing, swiming, fishing, and I pastored, taught in B.S., soul won, etc, I don't know how we did it, but I wish I had done more. But we do have some great memories. I never asked PERMISSION! What, are you crazy!
Julie I have been careful following your articles and comments. i come to realize I failed but your humbleness and gentleness reached my heart. I divorced my wife because left even nelgected my kids. You made see I wrong I was pressured into divorce. My ex wife and I are working on things I am in my kids life.This caused me to become a black sheep in the group so I just recently left. I am no longer a minister but I am working on being a better man. Julie you must deal with a lot speaking out being disabled trying heal in this unkind world. i say this from the kindness of my heart I hope someone is there to keep you going you deserve it.
Julie how in the world do you do it emotional and physically. I am able bodied and did not have it has hard as you yet I do not think I could ever be the person you are. You are incredible. God may I have the character and spirit Julie has.
Talking of divorce. If you realize you wrongly divorced your spouse under the pressure of NTCC now there is no way to fix it; can you be right before God? How does God view someone in this situation when all they can do is apologize? Will they go to hell for hurting their former spouse?
Doug Sewell was married more than once? This is news to me.
Why was he passing out divorce lawyer cards? Was he getting paid by the leaders?
There is just so many shocking things I am just now finding out. Not to be a repeating parrot as I read I am not the only one but Julie I am surprised at your existence. Now I wonder who all has kids no one knows about?
Julie it has got to hurt to not only be abused others but also by your own parents. Then you are denied and shoved to the side. I think when one has a bad day they turn to family, to their spouse, or someone. How do you make it Julie? How do you survive with this much heartache and pain? It is overwhelming to read but you lived every moment.
I raised active kids, we took them to the theam parks, Disneyland, skate parks, on bikecycles, we rode motorcycles, went camping, ice skating, skiing, swiming, fishing, and I pastored, taught in B.S., soul won, etc, I don't know how we did it, but I wish I had done more. But we do have some great memories. I never asked PERMISSION! What, are you crazy!
Julie I saw some of the emotional abuse you suffered I am sorry I never stepped in. I even saw your mom slap you as well as hit your with a fly swatter. I have seen you hit for interrupting because you needed to use the bathroom. Your dad slapped you across the face for being disrespectful. Thankfully your mom did take you to the bathroom. This bothered me but I was told this was how you discipline your kids. I blindly believed this was how you needed to be treated. I was presented for one of your bare bottom whipping it was so loud and hard I had to leave I felt like I was being hit. I wanted to stop it but you had done wrong. I was so blinded and young. Being a teenager it must have been humiliating even if only women and little girls could see what was happening.
How can you be so gentle, loving, kind and giving to others? You lay down all for the sake of others. You are a true warrior of God.
I think Tanya knows. How could she not? Besides, who knows how she has been around "brothers". Why else would her and Mikey need to have a vow renewal?
I sit here weeping as I read her life story. I knew Julie. I first met her in Tillicum. I was eighteen and started coming just before her 16th birthday. She was beautiful, sweet and such a hard worker. Her parents had her cleaning, caring for kids, and running non-stop. They always seemed to put her down, scolding her, and yelling at her. Nothing she did was good enough. She seemed so sad even though she wore a smile. I never saw her speak or acted unkindly to another. I wondered why she moved and did the kitchen the way she did but I had no idea she had cerebral palsy. It now all makes sense. The following is something that I have never forgotten and has bothered me all these years.
Growing up it was a tradition to give birthday swats so when Julie’s father said she was going to get her birthday spankings I didn’t think much about it. I am not sure the proper way to refer to her father so I will call him Mr .St. Clair. When Mr. St. Clair told Julie she was going to receiving her birthday spankings she freaked out. This puzzled me but I didn’t understand her life. I didn’t think about how it must feel to be spanked in front of all those G.I.s but by the end of the night I understood.
This was after service and those that did not live in the home had went home. When Julie freaked out Mr. St. Clair had his wife step out with her. When they came back she was brought into the living-room. I had only be in the home now a few days. There was only a few guys most had I believe purposely disappeared. When I saw how things were about to happen I wanted to get up say something but I sat glue to my seat. Mr. St. Clair bent her over began swatting her hip her skirt wasn’t all the way up only part way. I looked at the other couple of guys they looked as uncomfortable as I was at that moment. We were 18 and 19 years old none of us knew what to do. I thought this isn’t in fun this is embarrassing. We had another dessert time. I thought wait isn’t the birthday person supposed to be present. Julie was nowhere in sight. I asked where she was Mr. St. Clair jacks me up for asking about things that are none of my business. I am never to question the man of God. I wonder too what about a birthday gift. What did they give her a gift that is meant for private something a 16 year old girl would not want someone to see? I see her later cleaning the kitchen than the living-room. I decide I am going to buy her a present. I was raised with only brothers so I have no idea what to get a girl. Seening she was dating someone I wanted to be careful it wouldn’t look like I was trying to take her from another guy. I find something and sloppily wrap it. I figured I better let Mr. St. Clair know I had a gift for Julie. This was the next day. I get home excited to give her the gift. I went to Mr. St. Clair’s office. He accused me of trying to take her from her boyfriend. I was pretty shook up. He threatened to kick me out of the home. I was scared. He asked me a very strange question. He asked me if I enjoyed having sex with her. Man I swore up and down I had never had sex with his daughter. I think now he was testing to see where I stood. I wish I would have known what was going on. I guess he didn’t like my answers because he wouldn’t let me give her the gift.
Julie it isn’t fair what happened. I have wondered for a long time if you were okay. If you were even still alive. I am relieved you got out. I am happy you have spoken out against these people. Your words shows that God is working through you. Some people will never understand your shoes but will still care. Then you will have those that don’t understand nor care to. I hope though you do have someone that does care about you today. It has got to be a challenge to be you.
so where do you go from here?
Anonymous said:
I raised active kids, we took them to the theam parks, Disneyland, skate p
parks, on bikecycles, we rode motorcycles, went camping, ice skating, skiing, swiming, fishing, and I pastored, taught in B.S., soul won, etc, I don't know how we did it, but I wish I had done more. But we do have some great memories. I never asked PERMISSION! What, are you crazy!
DNA said:
Welcome to the new and improved ntcc. They are doing all this stuff openly now and splattering their facebook pictures up for everyone to see. I'm glad you had a good time, there were times that we had fun back in the day, but you had to have a 'rebellious' pastor that did things without asking permission. They were few and far between. The Reeds and Ballards were pretty laid back and at that time in my life, I needed 'laid back'. Others were always walking around like their clothes were 3 sizes too tight.
The way they tried to break julie's spirit reminds me of the Moreno story. like they tried to drive her to suicide by abusing, then admonishing her.
Anonymous said...
Talking of divorce. If you realize you wrongly divorced your spouse under the pressure of NTCC now there is no way to fix it; can you be right before God? How does God view someone in this situation when all they can do is apologize? Will they go to hell for hurting their former spouse?
Don said:
Don't beat yourself up over this. God isn't sitting in heaven with lightning bolts waiting to throw them at you. You were manipulated by some very sick and twisted individuals, if anyone burns, my guess is that it would be them. I would have to say that all of us have sinned and are in no position to cast stones.
What I had to do was pick up the broken pieces of my life and give them to God and ask God to put them back together as He sees fit. Many of us had deeper scars and we needed heeling really bad. We all know what the bible says about adultery and what the ntcc does with relationships is totally wrong. They match make people and when things don't work out they encourage divorce. Often they try to run off one of the spouses, and recycle the other. This one act of wickedness can cause 4 different people to live in adultery. The 2 that divorced and the 2 that end up getting married to the ones that are in adultery.
I would have to believe that your situation could be fixed by the blood. All have sinned. You have done what you could to make it right and you can't change the past. Do you really think that God would say, "Okay, that's that. You are going to hell no matter what and there is nothing you can do about it." Believe it or not, God loves you and wants to forgive you. Forgive yourself and live again. I would be much more worried about the child molesting perverts in the ntcc, and the ones that encourage families to separate. They don't have the same desire to make things right that you have. They pretend that everything is perfectly okay, and they live contrary to human decency, expecting everyone else to bow down and worship them as they defy the living God with no shame or remorse. I would say you have a much better chance at patching things up with God than they do.
So many people are confirming what Julie has been sharing. We know without a doubt that Ralph and Joan were horrible parents. There are people out there that actually think that Julie is wrong for speaking out. They think that the things that she says should not be shared publicly.
To those out there that think this way, you are wrong. If you had to endure one day of the hell that Julie endured for her entire childhood, maybe your opinion would carry more weight. I personally don't understand why you or anyone would be upset that Julie is standing up for herself. Do you want these abusive child molesting perverts to continue molesting children? Do you want them to keep living as if nothing happened? It is beyond my comprehension how people that know what Julie went through can be so completely ignorant. Some people out there think that Julie is the one that should be punished. Many of you have 'moved on' and are living your comfortable lives, making money and trying not to remember what the ntcc and it's cult leaders did to you. That's great that you were able to 'get over it'. But you weren't the one who spent their whole childhood in a living hell.
Some of you out there who think that this stuff should remain private and Ralph and Joan should be able to continue 'ministering' in the ntcc without any consequences for their perverted actions, maybe you need a little taste of the torture that Julie had to endure. Maybe you need to have a few minutes alone with that pervert Ralph and let him have his way with you.
If you are defending Ralph and Joan or if you don't think they should be outed for what they have done, than there is something wrong with you. You definitely need help. Your mind is not thinking clearly and your heart isn't working right either.
I am in NTCC. I am shocked at how this group is going. So much about this recent conference bothers me. Now I read all this stuff on this blog. Man what is a person to do. I wasn't around with Julie but I do know her parents. They are great people on some levels but other levels they bother me.
I didn't know about you Julie but I don't like knowing she suffered like this. It is great that many of us can say we didn't suffer like her. I don't know if it is because I only have been in 10 years but I would hope there aren't other kids going through what you went through.
I first learned you were out there because Rev. Kekel has spoke heavily against you. He said only a mentally insane person would want to be your friend. I had to ask someone who you were since I didn't know Rev. and Sis. St. Clair had a daughter. I heard you were speaking of private matters on public page. Thankfully this blog has NTCC in its name or I may have never found it. I have now read the ton of stuff you have wrote. What surprises me is no one is saying your whole story is a lie in NTCC they seem more upset you are on the internet with this? Some have spoke of you as a feeble minded slut and whore. They say real Christians will have no part with you. That even in death Rev. Davis had many there but you will have no one. Trying to digest all this.
I too have witnessed Julie be beaten. I was in the Tillicum servicemen's home. Ralph St. Clair and I were having a talk in his office. Julie knocks on the door. He tells says to come in before she has a chance to speak he gets mad. He stood and pulled his belt off. I want to just get out of there. I didn't want to witness her in trouble. He tells her she knows better then to interrupt him when he is counseling someone. She was trembling really bad by that point. He tells me I am sorry you have to see this but she knows better. He bends her over the desk lifting her dress and spanks her on her bare skin. I cringe at every hit she received.
Only when he is done does he even ask her why she knocked on the door. She told him that Rev. Olson is on the phone for him. Ralph St. Clair doesn't even apologize to her just calls her a dumb idiot then takes the call. Later he makes what I now think was a lame attempt to tell me why he had to spank her. This was not the only time he spanked her in front of me nor the only time he would get mad at her without asking questions first.
I now wonder if all this alone time with her in his office and out on supposed errands was time to have sex with her. He spent more time with her than with his wife. Sometimes he would be in Julie's room even at night. Looking back it was just odd.
OMG!!! I have witnessed Julie be spanked too.
It was the first year I believe the campground was open for conference. They had open bathrooms where all there were was shower spicks and Julie’s mom was really mad at her personally didn’t think it a good reason. She began spanking Julie in the shower with a bath brush. Everyone froze. You could hear the whacking echoing.
I asked her mother later that day why she did it in the shower and not their room. She said with rebellious kids as Julie you need to deal with it in the moment. Then she said plus she is getting married this week and she needs to know her place. It didn’t sit right with me but when I went to the leaders all I got was you don’t understand how hard it is to deal with a kid like Julie.
I was puzzled because I had never seen Julie act in an ill manner. She was so well manner and behaved like a sweet angel. I am so sorry Julie to them you were just something they thought they could turn on and off not stopping to think you had feelings. The pain you must have been in that day because those were not just little swats.
Real Christians do not submit to rapists and child abusers.
As I read what Julie has wrote and people’s comments. I think back on my memories of Julie. One conference I was staying on the campground. My husband and I had went out to eat in town. I had spilled my drink all over me I was so embarrassed. I didn’t want to stay but wanted to go back so I could clean up my husband go mad at me. Julie without skipping a beat took me to her hotel room. She said I think my clothes will fit you so you clean up and pick out something to wear. She said she would be outside so I could have privacy. I cleaned up and chose an outfit. She told me I could keep the clothes. I was so relieved and went back to the restaurant to eat. That night someone compliment me on the outfit I told them Julie rescued me explaining what happened. This person said you do know you are wearing Julie’s favorite outfit. I was surprised. I told Julie I would give her back her clothes she told me no just consider it a gift. This was just one of the many times where I learned about giving from Julie. She even got my clothes washed and brought back to me by her. She has always worry and cared about others.
Julie is so awful what you have been through. Back then you seem very depressed at times but you never let that stop you from helping others. No one asked you to help me that day but I think you understood what it meant to be embarrassed without a way out.
Missouri Law and Reporting Abuse
In Missouri, if you have “reasonable cause to believe” a child is being abused or neglected you must report that suspicion to the state Department of Children’s Services or law enforcement—and you are required by law to do it immediately.
Specific Mandated Reporting Information
By law, mandated reporters are physicians, nurses, social workers, day care staff, teachers, MINISTERS and law enforcement officials.
Mandated reporters also include any other person with responsibility for the CARE of children.
Mandated reporters are required by state statute to report abuse/neglect when they have reasonable cause to suspect a child has been or is being abused/neglected, or if a child is observed as being subjected to such conditions or circumstances.
Failure to report is a class A misdemeanor. The guilty party may face up to a year in jail and a fine of up to $2,500, either, or both.
The Missouri Child Abuse/Neglect Hotline Unit (CANHU) is operated 24/7/365. It is run by 52 trained and experienced Children’s Services workers.
The toll-free number for the state of Missouri is: 1-800-392-3738.
Ralph St. Clair needs to get his rear-end whooped. In fact he needs to spend a good while behind bars getting abused by some big guys. If you are still in the ntcc, you should absolutely have nothing to do with the St. Clair's. If you have any conscience, you should call them out in public. If you are in the church he is a part of, you should expose him openly with complete disrespect. The problem is, you won't do it because ntcc people are weak and gutless. ntcc men are weak, gutless and soft. ntcc women are followers and pushovers who wouldn't dare stand up to the likes of St. Clair or his sad sorry wife.
If I see St. Clair, he gets a piece of my mind for certain and openly. I hope it's in a public restaurant. I might even go to his church one day. I'd ask him openly how he enjoyed sleeping with his daughter, call him a creep and dare him to say anything because I'd be glad to get the authorities involved. I'd call his wife complete trash and tell her that she shouldn't have been allowed to give birth to a guinea pig say no less another human being. You ntcc people have issues. How can you even stay in a church with someone like that? Do you really believe you are saved? You must be kidding? Do you feel saved when you say, "God bless you brother and sister St. Clair) in conference? You don't think God wants you to have a conscience and a back bone.
Did you read about the prophet Daniel? What about Jesus? Did you read about him? John the Baptist? You ever heard of Paul? They all had back bones and guts and they stood up for what was right and against people who were wrong like St. Clair and Kekel. Jesus would have called St. Clair a "Whited Sepulchre and a Viper". You ntcc people are gutless and a shame and disgrace to the religion of Christianity. Please post this Don and Ange and ntcc people please read it and take a good hard look at yourselves. God bless you Brother and Sister St. Clair... Really? No way. They won't get no God bless you's out of me and they wouldn't have got it out of Daniel or Jesus either. They would have got a piece of Daniel's and Jesus' mind and called hypocrites.
Okay. We got some comments that we are going to post because the person makes some good points. But we are editing a word the person used a few times; because we don't want that word on our blog. So we put a few asterisks [**] in the word so you will understand what they are driving at. We understand feelings are strong here. We just don't want to give the ntcc crowd a bunch of gnats to choke on while they swallow camels by following their rapist leaders. :o)
because Rev. Kekel has spoke heavily against you. He said only a mentally insane person would want to be your friend.
Hey Kekel f**k your own wife and leave other women + children alone!
Hey people spread his hidden sins all around the world. So as they have treadted us they should be treaten now.
And once again Kekel f**k your own wife and leave other women and children alone.
because Rev. Kekel has spoke heavily against you. He said only a mentally insane person would want to be your friend.
Hey Kekel does this make your adultery legal if you f**k a supposedly insane person - which Julie is not and never? Are you a doctor that you can determine who is insane and who is normal?
because Rev. Kekel has spoke heavily against you. He said only a mentally insane person would want to be your friend.
The first time I saw Kekel on a German conference with his f**king wife Tanya I would estimate him to be a very selfish person having no behaviour as pertaineth to godliness!
Hey Kekel is sex with youw wife so boring only after a few years of marriage?
because Rev. Kekel has spoke heavily against you. He said only a mentally insane person would want to be your friend.
Kekel everyone knows you are a liar - as you were from the beginning, because their is no truth in you - like the devil who is a liar from the beginning.
When you speak a lie, you speak of your own: for you are a liar....
It is hard to stay on the side lines when reading how kekel labels anyone who befriends Julie as being mentally insane. First, there he goes again assassinating someone else character from behind the pulpit. Second when did kekel become a psychiatrist or a psychologist? What credentials does he has to make that judgment? Well, since his credentials are no better than mines, then I to would like to make a personal observation. Anyone who would marry mike kekel must be mentally insane/crazy, anyone who follows mike kekel is mentally insane/crazy, however I must admit that I to was once mentally insane/crazy for following ntcc and its extreme teachings and distortion of the bible, and anyone who stays in this organization is mentally insane.
I agree 100% with Maurice when he says "Anyone who would marry mike kekel must be mentally insane/crazy, anyone who follows mike kekel is mentally insane/crazy..."
If you follow a rapist, you are nuts! If you marry a rapist or stay married to a rapist, you are nuts!
Digesting said...
I am in NTCC. I am shocked at how this group is going. So much about this recent conference bothers me.
Anon a mouse asks:
Care to share what bothered you at the recent conference, as some of us didn't go.... :)
Anonymous, can you clarify when you say that Real Christians does not submit to rapists and child abusers.
Real Christians don't submit to rape...Whaaaat!!!!!!!!!! This person is a idiot, she was a child brought up in a severely dysfunctional home. Shame on this person for saying that, unbelievable. Rape is a criminal act, punishable by law.
I too met Julie when she was a teen. I thought that she might me a little slow but because of the way she talked and walked. Plus , it didn't help that Joan seemed to be around Julie all the time. I don't think I ever saw her without Joan around.
I remember one time being around some ladies and including Joan and Julie.
They were talking about sewing and one asked about putting darts on the bodice to make the pattern fit right , Joan says that full figured women have that problem but a good bra helps.
Then she said that Tanya kekel gives Julie her old bras instead of throwing them away!
At this point we all are kind of embarrassed because Julie didn't say anything , she is just seating there , having had teenagers I know how they would react by sharing personal info. But not Julie, I felt sorry for her because she was just looking at us while Joan was sharing that how a wonderful thing was that Tanya would give her used bras to Julie!
I really don't know why she would say something like that because she went on talking about the size of her breasts.
Julie my prayers go out to you.
May God restore all the things that you missed out on.
Anonymous "X" accidentally misquoted another person, I will call Anonymous "Y" thus: "Real Christians don't submit to rape..."
and then Anonymous X said, "Whaaaat!!!!!!!!!!This person is a idiot, she was a child brought up in a severely dysfunctional home. Shame on this person for saying that, unbelievable. Rape is a criminal act, punishable by law."
Ange says,
Oops. Easy does it Anonymous X. The person I am dubbing Anonymous Y actually said, "Real Christians do not submit to rapists and child abusers."
I certainly understand that is an easy mistake to make. And I admire your passion in defending any rape victim. But I think Anonymous Y was saying something different. I think AY was saying that Christians do not have to follow rapists and child abusers.
Real Christians, when they learn the truth about such people, will stand up against the rapists and child abusers to defend the victims and children. Real Christians do have backbones and do not submit to rapists and child abusers. That just is not Christianity.
I hope this clarifies what I view as an honest mistake. Frankly, these topics should generate some passionate responses. I know in the organization we were all expected to behave as whipped curs with no emotional responses other than "Yes Sir. How high do you want me to jump?" But God has not called us to be emotionless drones. God has given each of us unique personalities for a reason. The bible is full of examples of passionate people who served God with great emotions and fervor. It is okay to have an opinion and express it with heart. :o)
Anonymous said,
I too met Julie when she was a teen. I thought that she might me a little slow but because of the way she talked and walked.
Ange says,
This is interesting in view of what actually happened to Julie. Imagine how careful each of us would be in our speech if we were constantly beaten by the two people who are supposed to love us, often without us doing or saying anything. I personally would quickly learn to keep my mouth shut in order to avoid the beat-downs -- which was the purpose of these ill-named "spanks". Having said, this, I understand why someone could get the incorrect impression that Julie is "slow".
Having had many conversations with Julie, and having known a good many individuals in this world, both of great intellect and slower mettle, I would say that Julie is very intelligent. She learns things incredibly quickly. Now, it is true that her education was unfairly stopped early on her life. Of course, that is what the St. Clair- child-molesting and beating types of the world do to their victims - isolate them and make it impossible for them to report being abused. Also, withholding education from a person makes it much more difficult for that person to attain independence. It is much more difficult to find work that will sustain an independent life. So abusers don't want their victims to be educated.
Also these abusers use harsh words along with their harsh actions to break the spirit of their victim. Ralph and Joan were constantly saying cruel things to Julie to keep her down. And many people have witnessed this and testified to it right here on this blog.
Add to this the physical limitations of untreated Cerebral Palsy, the spiritual abuse from the so-called ministers trying to say a little girl who has been raped is somehow guilty and is in some way a sinner and that's why God didn't heal her, well ...
It's a miracle that Julie has overcome all these treacherous vipers with their venomous lies and vicious physical attacks on her already broken body.
Truly Julie is a walking talking miracle of God's grace!
I too remember Julie I have to agree I thought she was a bit slow she seem to have difficulty speaking stammering over her words but most of the time Joan always jump in to speak before she could finish any statement.
I remember one time Joan was speaking of guys being attracted to Julie. She said they like to talk about how hot her body is and her huge jugs are what they really liked. She said like it was something great to have something someone would want her daughter. Then she put her down by saying but getting someone willing to look pass her retardness and crippled body may be a problem. Julie just looked at the floor. She had her body so pulled to her that I think Julie would have laid in the fetus position if she could. I don’t know what Julie’s mind was like since her parents didn’t seem to let her speak much. I spoke up telling Joan that this wasn’t a way she should be talking about her daughter. Joan kind of pushed at Julie and said oh she doesn’t mind she is use to me talking about her. I got up thinking there are leaders’ wives sitting here how can this be okay? If she is truly mentally slow why treat her this way?
I saw her mother get mad at her a lot but I can’t say I ever saw her do a single thing wrong. I think she must have been afraid to even breathe.
Hey Kekel and Ralphy Clarky you know what - open up a home and church (home away from home haha)
especially for people who practise incest. Fathers who have sex with their daugthers and mothers who have sex with their sons and brothers and sisters who have sex with each other. Kekel you can put this upon your agenda for 2015!!
How about "Christian Incest Servicemen's home and church" or how about "Incest Fahter's House" preaching a living Christ to saved or lost incest people. You can put this on the church business card!
We already know that everybody reads the Kekels bible but not God's bible. Kekels preaching/sermons are so so high above everything else.
None of you shall approach to any that is near of kin to him, to uncover their nakedness: I am the Lord. Leviticus 18:6, King James Version
No one is to approach any close relative to have sexual relations. I am the Lord. Leviticus 18:6, NIV
None of you shall approach any blood relative [a]of his to uncover nakedness; I am the Lord.
Leviticus 18:6, New American Standard Version
You shall not uncover the nakedness of a woman and of her daughter,......it is wickedness. Leviticus 18:17 New American Standard Version
Do not have sexual relations with both a woman and her daughter,.... That is wickedness.
Leviticus 18:17, NIV
Thou shalt not uncover the nakedness of a woman and her daughter,......it is wickedness. Leviticus 18:17, King James Version
It is reported commonly that there is fornication among you, and such fornication as is not so much as named among the Gentiles, that one should have his father's wife.
1 Corinthians 5, 1 - 2 KJV
And ye are puffed up, and have not rather mourned, that he that hath done this deed might be taken away from among you.It is actually reported that there is sexual immorality among you, and of a kind that even pagans do not tolerate: A man is sleeping with his father’s wife. 2 And you are proud! Shouldn’t you rather have gone into mourning and have put out of your fellowship the man who has been doing this? 1 Corinthians 5, 1 - 2 NIV
Romans 13 which says obey the rules of civil government unless they contradict God's Word.
Mat 5:27 "You have heard that it was said, 'You shall not commit adultery.'
Jesus Himself said, "Do not think that I came to destroy the Law or the Prophets. I did not come to destroy but to fulfill."
2 Timothy 3:16-17 says,"All Scripture is given by inspiration of God, and is profitable for doctrine, for reproof, for correction, for instruction in righteousness, that the man(or woman) of God may be complete, thoroughly equipped for every good work."
Kekel and Ralphy Clarky what is the "New Apmlified Kekel Bible Version" saying?
I heard sexual comments about Julie from her parents. Even Mike Kekel made comments back in the day that just didn't seem right for a married man to make of another lady. It bothered me but I didn't realize it was this bad.
It did seem odd that she was called into the office so much. The leaders had her over their houses a lot which was another odd thing considering many of us never saw the inside of any of their homes ever.
I was jealous of how much time Julie got to spend at Davis' house, Ashmore's house, and Kekel's house. Now sadly I realize I had no reason to be jealous. I now am so angry that she was dragged to this homes.
Julie I wonder if there is memories you don't remember that you will memory in time. With your whole childhood and adulthood this messed up by others I am sure there has got to be a lot of memories deep in your mind that you have buried.
Oh God you need his help as these memories surface. This has got to hurt worse than we exers could even understand.
Anonymous said,
These men shouldn't be around kids. Whether it is one victim or 50 victims they can't be trusted. Some say it is just one victim that would be like saying this guy in prison only killed one person so we are going to put a child in his cell with him. Now if we heard he had killed 50 we wouldn't allow it.
Julie is yelling please don't risk another victim. Don't let another child go through what I went through. We may not have seen what she has gone through but we have seen the double standards with the other wrongs. She is just letting us know this is just the smoke of the underground fire.
Ange says, this is another one of those comments that bears repeating.
I wondered why Ralph St. Clair always seem to want alone time with his daughter. Joan seem to go along with it though if you have ever watched her with church members and G.Is she wasn't so innocent herself. She would say and do things that were so improper. Both of Julie's parents made her the bad person if situations went wrong in the church or if someone even dared challenge them on anything. Yet so many people always want to claim them as parents. Women say Joan is the mother they never had. I hope every one of those women read this blog and realize how disgust Joan is for real.
she was a bit slow she seem to have difficulty speaking stammering over her words but most of the time
To me it is very clear why she had difficulty speaking and why she was stammering over her words, because she was intimidated, threatened, beaten or should I say tortured by her own parents, from day one in NTCC.
Hello Pastor Ralphy Clarky ....
that medically speaking when a brother and sister (father and daughter too???) bear children there is typically severe disfiguration and distortion of the childs physical appearance and sometimes their internal organs. My personal belief is that God would not have put that in our genetic code if it were acceptable in His will.
Here in the last few days are multiple witness' who have verified what Julie has been saying about the abuse that she suffered. The hateful, beatings at her supposed interuptions of the MOG's counceling sessions. The "time" that Ralph spent with her. The beatings, the accusations of wanting to have sex with "his" daughter, Julie. The denial of "gifts" on her birthday, and refusal to give a simple gift from one of the guys in the church. The abuse, days before her arranged marriage. The comments, of her devotion to sincerely help people, where ever, and when ever that Julie could.
These people are beyond disgusting.
To the Anonymous who wanted to go all Lorena Bobbitt on kekel... Ahem.
Rape is wrong. But for this blog, I think we've hit a threshold for what is an acceptable expression of anger, and what is not. We cannot condone this level of violence.
Yes, we understand the emotion of disgust and even a desire for justice; but dismembering even a rapists' 'member'??? I don't know about that.
I did like your idea to send kekel to a North Korean labor camp. :o)
I think of all that Julie has been through and having cerebral palsy on top of it. I wonder how any of us can complain about the stuff in our life.
When is the last time you looked at your two hands thanking God they work and your fingers move? When is the last time you looked at your feet and thanked God they work? When is the last time you got into a car and thanked God you could drive? When is the last time you thanked God your body didn't have pain that was unbearable all week long? Do you complain that your spouse made your coffee wrong? Be thankful you have a spouse that wants to make you coffee. There are so many when is the last times.
Sometimes we get so busy upset by the little things we forget to be thankful. If Julie can find a reason to be thankful and so kind; how can we complain in the middle of our storms of life.
Julie I hate what you have gone through it should have never been. You are a reminder to us all to be thankful people and realize how blessed we are really. You are the humbleness teacher one can have in life.
Oh Julie how can one apologize for not standing up for you. I saw and I remember. I seen your mother treat you like dirt. She said something one day that I didn't get until now. Guys want Julie temporary but finding someone that will be willing to take her permanently is going to be a challenge. Now I am wondering if she was speaking of men having sex with Julie.
I saw Davis belittle you in from of others calling you a retarded whore. I seen Kekel insult and make funny of you. I have seen Ashmore laugh at all this. I seen Julie get told to go to the office Kekel wants to speak to you.
I wondered why she spent so much time with some men yet one was not suppose to ask questions so I stupidly never said a word. I wonder how many of us out there that saw but did nothing.
I saw Julie get her bottom beaten too. I was a member at the Lakewood church which I believe was on 96th at that time.
Julie worked the nursery and she ran it like a pro at only 13 years old. The kids adored her because they knew she loved them.
One service she has given the last parent their child. I wasn't married and had no children. I went in their to see if she wanted to ask her parents if she could go with me to the store. I came into the room and she was doing the after nursery clean-up. At this point Joan walked in and immediately got upset at her for not having the clean-up already done. Mrs. St. Clair told her she was in trouble. She left the room and came back in with a wooden thing not sure if it would be a paddle or a wooden spoon of sorts. The nursery was attached to their house. There were a few steps just inside the nursery Mrs. St. Clair sat down and called her over. I was frozen in place I couldn't believe Julie was going to get a spanking at her age. Julie laid across sort of because she was too big to do so. Mrs. St. Clair pulled up her dress and their bared Julie bottom she gave her some hard swats. Julie fell off Mrs. St.Clair I think Julie hurt herself because at that point she began to cry pretty hard. Her mother didn't seem concerned just told her to get her fat butt up and go to her room this wasn't over. At that point I took off. I was so shaken by what I saw. I did ask her father later why did Julie still get spankings at her age? Of course I was chewed out later from the pulpit about not questioning his parenting God called him to rule his children it wasn't his members business what he does with his children. Julie seemed embarrassed to look at me the next time we had church.
Anonymous said...
"because Rev. Kekel has spoke heavily against you. He said only a mentally insane person would want to be your friend."
Heeeeeeey MiCKy Finn of Nude Test-her-out Christian INCest!
did you not admonish bruce smith for so-called picking on a brother whose feet was injured from the war? now the truth comes out!we now know what your kind thinks oif/oef veterans that brain or body injured and other "retards"!
*no compassion
*no common decency
*no respect for your body or others
who would be friends with a sociopath?
you don't even believe in God do you?
Oh this is what happened that day. I was around that day she was told Kekel wanted to see her at the Lodge. Her son was just an infant. I didn’t see or hear her called to go see him but after she had already gone I was asked to wait for her. I was to take her to the motel where her baby was when the meeting was over. What I am about to say it hard for me to even type.
Julie got out. She didn’t seem okay in fact seemed pretty shock up. She walk or more stumbled to my car. I said Sis. Ridgeway what is wrong what did you get in trouble for this time. I really didn’t know Julie at all but I had witnessed her being told before this day that one or more of the leaders wanted to speak to her. She got into the car she seemed in a daze. I had to help her get her seat belt on because she seemed unable to focus on the task at hand. What is wrong with this girl something isn’t right?
She starts rocking back and forth mumbling like she isn’t present at all. She said things like I don’t want to do this. I’m dumb stupid I’m yucky. I don’t like the bedrooms. Why must this happen? I want it to stop. It’s scary. She continued with I hate myself I hate myself. I am going to hell where I belong.
I called her by name finally getting her attention I asked her what was this meeting about it jars her. Now I wish I hadn’t jarred her in her daze she might have said more. She tells me it is a sin to tell and my baby needs me; she goes silent the rest of the car ride. The rocking continues and she began to do something strange. She began to wipe at her tongue like something was on it she couldn’t get off. Now I am thinking she was bothered by the French kissing.
We get to the motel her baby is crying his head off. She picks him up and the mother in her kicks in she started singing to him softly. He calms right down. For one that was so young and so hurt she was an amazing mother. We part ways at this point.
I am bothered by that day. I go to the night service and then fellowship. I decide to go talk to Kekel the next day to find out what was happening because I didn’t like seeing Julie this way. I told him the next day it was really important that I speak to him. He agrees to talk to me after the service. We check up with each other after the service. I told him of taking Julie to the motel after their meeting and that Julie didn’t seem okay. He immediately got an angry look on his face. He asked me if she said what the meeting was about I said no. He seems a little calmer. He asked me a bunch of questions. I answered.
Later that night Davis came and talked to me asking me what Julie said? He told me not to believe what comes out of her mouth only 1/10 of what she says is true. He said she is so dumb sometimes she doesn’t even remember her name. I thought is she mentally messed up is that what I witnessed it still bothered me that he said this of her. She was married yet I even got grilled by Ralph St. Clair too. I should have woke up right there but instead I starting believing Julie was the problem.
Ralph St. Clair must have gotten a hold of Julie the day after Kekel did because she was worse that night walking around in a daze not really talking with anyone. In the motel that night her son was a sleep at her feet in his car seat. Everyone was laughing and joking. There sat Julie looking distressed very scared, and so sad. I am so mad at myself for not reaching out. Maybe a hug would have let her know someone really cared.
Don and Ange thanks for having an enough faith to allow Julie to write on this blog. Even though you didn’t witness what happened to her personally I am glad you loved her enough to give her a voice. Finally someone standing up for her and trusting her. I hope your love and support doesn’t leave her no matter what. She needs beautiful Christian friends as you because she probably doesn’t have many true friends. She is lucky to have you so very lucky!
Don and Ange, I don't know you but I truly thank you from my heart for taking the time to keep this blog going.
This cult "church" is a travesty to real churches. I would like to ask a question, how has attending this cult affected your readers long term. I left 3 years ago and I still feel the long term affects. I should be in therapy. I don't blame God in any way, of course I realize these so called ministers where just wolves in sheep's clothing. I feel like I was naive and very guillable maybe and somehow it bothers me still.
I guess my question is this how do we learn to deal with spending all those years in a church that really wasn't a church at all, but I must admit I thought it was.
Wow. Lots of testimonials here. Keel is a great man of God hey? What about Stclair. Unbelievable. Julie was really abused and misused.
Anonymous of the seatbelt comment, would you please contact us via e-mail at 1gi2another [at] gmail [you know the rest]. Thanks. :o)
You can remain Anonymous. :o)
Hey Chief. Yeah, as always your comment is a welcome sight. The ntcc is worse than we knew. kekel, st.clair, davis - not of God, that's for sure. It seems that in addition to being a real estate corporation masquerading as a church, the ntcc's also a sex ring for perverts who like spanking and raping little girls. We can also add fontenot and jordan and rudy to this list of perverts with ntcc 'preachers' licenses...
Anonymous said,
Don and Ange, I don't know you but I truly thank you from my heart for taking the time to keep this blog going.
This cult "church" is a travesty to real churches. I would like to ask a question, how has attending this cult affected your readers long term. I left 3 years ago and I still feel the long term affects. I should be in therapy. I don't blame God in any way, of course I realize these so called ministers where just wolves in sheep's clothing. I feel like I was naive and very guillable maybe and somehow it bothers me still.
I guess my question is this how do we learn to deal with spending all those years in a church that really wasn't a church at all, but I must admit I thought it was.
DNA say,
Anonymous, You're welcome. We blog to try and help people sort through the cult experience. But we are only one blog in a long list of others that have gone before us, helping countless others. Tracy's blog, the F.A.C.T.Net.Org articles, Chief's blog, Deb and Greg's blog, NTCCeXposed, the Cultwatch and Cultbusters' articles and now Kat's Hope and Healing Blog and the HOPCC Exposed Site have all helped us and countless others to affirm what we felt was wrong with the ntcc. The many articles by Bruce Smith and whoever put together the Wikipedia info on the NTCC are also good sources of info.
Why do we mention all that? First, we too are thankful for all who have written and shared their ntcc eXperiences. Second, you asked how attending this cult has affected folks long term. All the sites we've mentioned show not only the intimate details of how devastating this group is, but also the lasting negative impact ntcc has on the lives of people who went there, especially if they attended the indoctrination school that ntcc incorrectly labels a seminary or bible school.
You also asked how do we learn to deal with spending all those years in a church that really wasn't a church. Which we will attempt to answer in the next comment.
How do we deal or heal?
First of all, read the blogs. It is extremely helpful to realize that you were not alone. Yes, ntcc was successful at isolating us while we were in. Information and communication was severely restricted, monitored, controlled all for the express purpose of stopping free thought and free sharing of our misgivings about this group's pernicious ways. The internet has done a great deal to cure that woe. By having open access to the stories of other eX-members we quickly understand that other people knew something was wrong and were compelled to leave the ntcc because it is a cult.
It feels good to know that we were right. We knew Christianity was supposed to be about love and God. So that helped us get out of this group.
What else can we do? Maintain your relationship with God. What ntcc did to us is equivalent to rape. It was spiritual rape and spiritual abuse. They taught us to blame ourselves, doubt our God and override the Holy Spirit. They taught us the false doctrine that leaving the group meant that we were leaving God. But that is a lie. We can still be Christians without the NTCC. The bible never mentions the davisites as the only source of salvation! If your relationship with God has been damaged by the ntcc experience, seek His face again. Read the bible. Pray. Ask God to help you sort out His truth from their lies. Listen to Godly worship music and enjoy His presence daily. Christianity is meant to be a relationship and friendship with God. Don't allow these men to steal that from you. If they have, take it back. God loves you and died for you. He will fight for you. Fight for Him. :d)
So far so good? Okay. There are more things we can do.
Feel free to read the Return To Normalcy Toolkit article. It has practical steps we can take to help us on our journey of recovery from the ntcc cult experience. Click Here to Read Return To Normalcy Toolkit
Find what works for you. Be patient with yourself. Living in an ultra-controlling and abusive environment such as the ntcc takes time to get over. Allow yourself as much time as you need. Don't compare your healing process to others or feel that you have to be doing it better or faster. We all grieve and heal in different fashions and on different schedules. What works for one person might not work for another. Find what works for you and stick with that.
Don't blame yourself. These fellas have been refining their demonic techniques for over four decades. The systems they have in place are designed to stifle thought and repress the truth. They are guilty of misrepresenting God. Acknowledge that they are the ones who will have to answer to God for hunting His sheep and destroying His flock. Remember you are God's child. He loves you; and His love is unconditional!
God placed Adam and Eve in paradise. I fully believe He wants us to enjoy this wonderful world. NTCC tried to strip us of all that joy. Take it back.
What else? Read about other cults. You will quickly see how similar these abusive groups are. How they use the same tactics of Mind Control, intimidation, and reprisal (like 'blasting' or disfellowshipping). This will validate what you already know - ntcc is a cult. By reading about others' who have survived and overcome, you will realize that you too can get through this and may even help others on their journey of recovery. :o)
Wow I am grateful anon asked about dealing with being in a cult. I have wondering the same thing. You may shared it before but I missed it. I am trying to understand how to look up things on the blog. Sorry for being stupid. Thanks for helping people.
Hi Anonymous,
Thanks for your comment. Please don't feel bad about not understanding how this blog works. It is very complex and has been evolving for three and half years. If there is something specific we can help you with, feel free to ask us. That's all part of why we're here - to help. :o)
Out with the Old, In with the New:
When looking at our past experience in NTCC, we learn that the NTCC taught us to blame ourselves for everything. But that was a false doctrine.
For example: A young man naturally wants to get married. But the NTCC has a system of rules in place to make that impossible. As a result this young man has no wife and ends up blaming himself for things that were beyond his control.
How could that be? The NTCC made a rule that no man could talk to any of the single ladies in the church unless he first GOT PERMISSION from the self-appointed pastor. Well guess what? That meant the brother no longer has power over his own life. Instead the so-called 'pastor' is calling the shots, and deciding who does or does not get married. But the brother doesn't see that as he is going through this. Instead he is told that he is a failure, that if he had more faith then God would bless him with a wife. What a cruel system of abuse. And that is just one example of how NTCC would put us down and convince us to blame ourselves for things that were not our fault.
Another example of this had to do with "being blessed" with money. The NTCC wanted YOU to sacrifice everything, pay your tithe, give in all the offerings, give 'til hurts, and only spend $40 per week on your groceries. IF you didn't "put it together" and have enough money to go to conference, you were a FAILURE and had to appear before the board ...
PUH-LEEZ! The NTCC set up all the rules about only working on a job that would fit the crazy ntcc schedule, taking at last two weeks off without pay to go to conference, making the pilgrimage for that, and even bouncing you around from state to state moving you from one church to another so it was impossible to establish stability, a good job, or a savings account....
But then, from the pulpit, they would blame YOU and say YOU were a failure, if only you had done what 'pastor' does, then you could have what 'pastor' does; or if only you hadn't been so wasteful and thrown away that left over ramen slop, then you would be blessed. But, no; YOU had tossed out that soggy mess of garlic noodles; that was spitting in God's face and being wasteful... so that's why you're "not blessed". Seriously?
What a load of hooie! Sure if you sat on your butt in one state, scraping in 60% of every other church's tithe and offerings, never moving anywhere, drawing down a big salary, having your mansion built and paid for by the tithe payers, having your luxury vehicle and fuel bought and paid for by the tithe payers, having your trips to the restaurant bought and paid for by the tithe-payers, you too could "be blessed" - that's when you could truly say you did what 'pastor' does so you have what 'pastor' has.
You see? The NTCC made the rules that made it impossible for you to earn or save any money; then, after you do everything they taught you, they blame you for not having any money (while their pockets are full of your cash)! Once again, NTCC teaches you to blame yourself for THEIR false doctrines!
So why bring all of this up?
To be continued...
Well, some of the comments got us thinking. Someone apologized for being stupid. You are not stupid. Please don't feel that way. Nobody understands blogging. It takes time to learn all this stuff, and we have been reading, commenting on, and making our own blog over six years. Don't feel bad if you need some time to figure things out. We needed time too.
Someone else was asking about life after the org. And combined these comments got us thinking about how NTCC gets people to blame themselves for things that the NTCC are at fault for.
What does that have to do with the first comment's lead in line, "Out with the Old, In with the New"?
Well, in the org the NTCC wanted you to sacrifice. But God was not stingy with His people. In the bible we read about God's people being so blessed that after they harvested their crops, they had so much that it would last them through the winter, leave enough for planting new crops, and still have left overs that had to be thrown out to make room when the new crops were harvested, Out with the Old, In with the New.
In similar fashion, after we leave this group, we have to throw out their old false doctrines, and daily get a new touch from God and His Word. We have to seek His face every day and learn what HE wants us to do. The org had us trained to think "What would 'pastor' have me do?" But God wants us to ask what would Jesus have us to do. We look at the life of Jesus as our example and throw out the old way of thinking and pattern our lives after the New Testament of Christ's example.
Out with the Old, In with the New.
;o)
And please, don't be afraid to get rid of those nasty leftovers!
Taken from the local news paper 4/12/2014 POPE TAKES RESPONSIBILITY FOR PRIEST SEX ABUSE. Pope Francis said Friday he took personal responsibility for the "evil" of priest who raped and molested children, asking forgiveness from victims and saying the church must be bolder in its effort to protect the young. It was the first time a pope has taken personal responsibility for the sex crimes of his priests and begged for forgiveness. The leaders of ntcc should do the same and much more.
I witnessed stuff that happened to Julie even approved. Do you thinking God will forgive me? It is bad.
Anonymous said,
I witnessed stuff that happened to Julie even approved. Do you thinking God will forgive me? It is bad.
It is written:
1Jo 1:9 KJV - If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us [our] sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.
God will forgive. But will He forget?
The Bible says:
Heb 10:17 KJV - And their sins and iniquities will I remember no more.
When we confess our sin, God forgives us all our sins.
When God forgives our sins, He forgets our sins.
Why?
Jhn 3:17 KJV - For God sent not his Son into the world to condemn the world; but that the world through him might be saved.
Mat 1:21 KJV (partial) - ... JESUS: ... he shall save his people from their sins.
I too have wondered if God will fogive me for what I witnessed with Julie. It has ate at me for years. Her father abused her spent a lot of alone talked about her breasts in a sexual matter. I am relieved God forgives me for doing nothing.
Yes. God forgives us our sins. And right now you are helping Julie by sharing the truth about what you witnessed.
We also believe that you are helping others wake up and understand what kind of men run the ntcc. Statistics show that pedophiles rarely repent but will continue offending and having sex with children.
Think about that.
What will that mean to folks who are now in this ntcc?
Will they continue to listen to the lies of these predators and realize twenty years from now that they could have saved a child from a life of abuse?
People, the choice is yours. Will you do what God wants you to do?
If there are others reading who have witnessed some of these things, we hope they will support others by commenting as some already have. We believe it will help. Help you forgive yourself. Help those who went through the abuse by being the 2nd or 3rd witness. And most of all help prevent future victims by raising awareness. A man giving himself a title does not make him a righteous or trustworthy individual. Guard your families. Watch out for the innocent. Be aware. If you suspect something is off, report it to the police. They can investigate and act if needed.
"Wow I am grateful anon asked about dealing with being in a cult. I have wondering..."
counseling is to your advantage even if it is just a wise old friend. go to church.do not feel obligated every time the doors open though. congregants from your old church may glibly assault your faith.trust that your faith comes from God's heart to yours.
julie's story brings to light about teachings that came from bible school. sisters at one time complained about the sexually inappropriate behavior of some of the brothers or ministers. depending on that brother's level of brainwashing concerns were dismissed or categorized as hysterics. if you were sexually abused as a child, you were told to get over it or pray it through. rape was the victims fault: where were they; what did the wear; did they cry out? what archaic misogynistic teachings! rape is a crime of violence,anger and hatred."ralphy's" need to engage in a consanguineous and adulterous relationship with his daughter was about disdain and control. rape is much like a suicide vest, it is inflicted on a victim in wishing they will self-destruct.
When looking at those two homunculi troglodytes, Joanie and Ralphie SIN.Claire, one suspects a consanguineous marriage!
I have witnessed Kekel as well Davis walk pass Julie slap her on the butt tell her to behavior herself what shocked was she didn't surprised or reacted right for her age. She looked very scared. She would stutter out yes sir out. One time her father was there. He just got upset with Julie didn't defend her. I was puzzled but when I asked about it i got jacked up for questioning the man of God. I wonder if she got more swats later?
Julie because of some of your last posts I left NTCC turned my life for reals to Jesus. I am working on showing my wife I am not going to be a jerk that I was before. Julie you gave me the wake up I needed. You made realize I was emotionally hurting my wife. I am no longer a minister but I am being a husband. How you can care about others shocks me. May God bless you for your faithfully speaking until all hear.
I have struggled wanting to leave NTCC for a while but I have been scared of the unknown. Reading Julie life has made me realize the dangerous of this place is greater then my fear. If Julie can risk being attacked and being treated bad I can step out take my family to safety. In the couple of weeks we have lost a lot but I have turned to God. Julie for the first I found the God you serve and he is everything you have shared him to be. Thank you for humbling being a light of the real Jesus.
i wonder how many other preacher's daughters were violated.
I have seen Julie slapped getting a bloody nose in the process.
The reason she was slapped is she was trying to defend another sister. she was asked about this sister Julie told the truth but was punished. Even when slapped she wouldn't change her story. Julie how did you survive the bullying?
I hope that all of you current, and former members of NTCC, who have witnessed this abuse over the years, will have the courage to stand with Julie when the state and federal law enforcement officials, and the FBI require your testimony. She stood alone, for nearly 21 or more years. After that, she suffered in silence for nearly 20 more years.
She stood for the innocent, she stood for the defenseless, but no one stood with her. This is your opportunity to make it right. Stand with her now, tell what you know. And when the time comes, tell the truth. That's all she wants, that's all God wants. We love you Julie, and stand with you in prayer!
Am I reading this right? Ralph pimped his own daughter for a position!?
Anonymous said,
Am I reading this right? Ralph pimped his own daughter for a position!?
DNA say,
That same thought has crossed our minds. How else do you explain his running a "civilian work" that has only two members and yet Ralphie pooh held no paying job. He was "full time" as a minister with only two tithe payers, who lived in his house (we think it was the work in Louisiana). Where did he get the money to support the church bills and housing / food / trips to conference?
I commend everyone's bravery, this is obviously not an easy thing to talk about. I'm so sorry you had to go through this. May these accounts open the eyes and the hearts of others before it's too late for others. </3
I must add (anon comment submitted moments earlier), we left to spare my daughter this environment. It's odd how I am evil in their eyes now.
So taking Julie when she was a child, across state lines(aka conference)could be considered child sex trafficking?
We also heard that the Kekels paid for two couples to go to this last conference. Anyone want to guess who those couples were?
Ding. DinG. DiNG! That's right. If you guessed Joan and Ralphie-poo St. Clair and John and (Barbaric Barbara Norton) Warwick, YOU ARE RIGHT!
Now why would Kekels pay to have two of the creepiest couples in the NTCC go to this last conference?
Does the phrase "HUSH MONEY" come to your mind?
We mean, really? How many of YOU received an ALL EXPENSE PAID TRIP TO CONFERENCE FROM THE KEKELS ... EVER?
Not too many, right? Even missionaries like Greg and Deb had to foot the bill themselves for all their conference expenditures. (If we remember their testimony correctly).
So why this sudden interest in the Norton-Warwicks and St. Clairs?
Shh. We won't tell...
in most cases, child sex trafficking does not have a statue of limitations.
oh,those of you that thought it was cute to threaten Julie and the other ladies that is witness intimidation or tampering.
Makes me want to say the f-word; FELONY
Makes me want to say the f-word; FELONY
Noice play on words Anon. Like so much in life, its not what people think it will be at first glance.
Anonymous said...
Oh this is what happened that day. I was around that day she was told Kekel wanted to see her at the Lodge. Her son was just an infant. I didn’t see or hear her called to go see him but after she had already gone I was asked to wait for her. I was to take her to the motel where her baby was when the meeting was over. What I am about to say it hard for me to even type.
Julie got out. She didn’t seem okay in fact seemed pretty shock up. She walk or more stumbled to my car. I said Sis. Ridgeway what is wrong what did you get in trouble for this time. I really didn’t know Julie at all but I had witnessed her being told before this day that one or more of the leaders wanted to speak to her. She got into the car she seemed in a daze. I had to help her get her seat belt on because she seemed unable to focus on the task at hand. What is wrong with this girl something isn’t right?
She starts rocking back and forth mumbling like she isn’t present at all. She said things like I don’t want to do this. I’m dumb stupid I’m yucky. I don’t like the bedrooms. Why must this happen? I want it to stop. It’s scary. She continued with I hate myself I hate myself. I am going to hell where I belong.
I called her by name finally getting her attention I asked her what was this meeting about it jars her. Now I wish I hadn’t jarred her in her daze she might have said more. She tells me it is a sin to tell and my baby needs me; she goes silent the rest of the car ride. The rocking continues and she began to do something strange. She began to wipe at her tongue like something was on it she couldn’t get off. Now I am thinking she was bothered by the French kissing.
We get to the motel her baby is crying his head off. She picks him up and the mother in her kicks in she started singing to him softly. He calms right down. For one that was so young and so hurt she was an amazing mother. We part ways at this point.
I am bothered by that day. I go to the night service and then fellowship. I decide to go talk to Kekel the next day to find out what was happening because I didn’t like seeing Julie this way. I told him the next day it was really important that I speak to him. He agrees to talk to me after the service. We check up with each other after the service. I told him of taking Julie to the motel after their meeting and that Julie didn’t seem okay. He immediately got an angry look on his face. He asked me if she said what the meeting was about I said no. He seems a little calmer. He asked me a bunch of questions. I answered.
Later that night Davis came and talked to me asking me what Julie said? He told me not to believe what comes out of her mouth only 1/10 of what she says is true. He said she is so dumb sometimes she doesn’t even remember her name. I thought is she mentally messed up is that what I witnessed it still bothered me that he said this of her. She was married yet I even got grilled by Ralph St. Clair too. I should have woke up right there but instead I starting believing Julie was the problem.
Ralph St. Clair must have gotten a hold of Julie the day after Kekel did because she was worse that night walking around in a daze not really talking with anyone. In the motel that night her son was a sleep at her feet in his car seat. Everyone was laughing and joking. There sat Julie looking distressed very scared, and so sad. I am so mad at myself for not reaching out. Maybe a hug would have let her know someone really cared.
Don and Ange thanks for having an enough faith to allow Julie to write on this blog. Even though you didn’t witness what happened to her personally I am glad you loved her enough to give her a voice. Finally someone standing up for her and trusting her. I hope your love and support doesn’t leave her no matter what. She needs beautiful Christian friends as you because she probably doesn’t have many true friends. She is lucky to have you so very lucky!
Friday, April 11, 2014 6:32:00 PM
Just wanted to make sure everyone saw this comment.
Another reason to suspect why the kekels would pay for the st. clairs and Barbra Nortons ride to the conference, could be kekels slick way of winning them over. Barbra Norton and the st. clairs was very very loyal and supportive to davis, well, going forward kekel is going to need those folks to be just as loyal to him as they were to davis. He needs those who would sacrifice there own children just so they could be excepted in the beloved of ntcc. Kekel may be perverted, overrated, and corrupt, but he's not all stupid, it's the followers that are blind, stupid, and ignorant.
"Julie got out. She didn’t seem okay in fact seemed pretty shock up. She walk or more stumbled to my car. I said Sis. Ridgeway what is wrong what did you get in trouble for this time."
so there are your 2-3 witnesses Olson!
"He needs those who would sacrifice there own children just so they could be excepted in the beloved of ntcc."
wonder how many people will be willing to lend kekel a dollar or two once his assets get frozen?
First I would like to clear up something it seems that what happened in Louisiana and Lakewood are getting mixed up. Lakewood was where there was 2 guys living in the home.
Louisiana we averaged less then 10 people. Ralph had a part-time work some of the time there. We were living in a shack and I mean a shack which cost 25.00 a month. I don't believe it was worth even that. We didn't have hot water nor heat in that place my bedroom walls were like this black trash bag material. One of my bedroom walls you could push it out and be outside. We had a very nice church building though. We were struggling and it wasn't uncommon to not have food or to eat the same thing 3 x a day. We stood in the government lines for food all the while paying rent of a building I have been told was owned by the organization. At one point I had only one dress that was washed and worn everyday. It was no more than a rag. There were times people felt sorry for us and give to us.
After guys outside of the church started having sex with me our life all of a sudden got better. New clothes were bought and material to make clothes. I was still with the rags. I would try to do anything trying to get the approval of Ralph and Joan.
We fellowshipped with Fort Polk Louisiana servicemen's home where some G.Is there felt bad while visiting us bought us food and me a dress. I remembering putting it on thinking it was so beautiful. That all night I thought for sure that this G.I. that bought it would ask for it back or this man wanted to do something to me like the other men. I don't remember much about him except I thanked him over and over. He earned a right to my mile a minute chatter. I got in serious trouble for so much talking but it didn't matter to me I had a dress that was all mine.
I was so amazed this left man left without asking for it back. Sometimes I was given things only to have them taken from me so I couldn't believe he didn't do this. I never saw this man again but I didn't forget his act of kindness.
Continued.....
Continued......
As I continued having sex with men outside of the church financial things got better. We moved into better living conditions and what was in our house was a whole lot better condition including our car yet with all this there was no more work nor were there anymore people. Pop Gaylord visited us. I was in ratty clothes. Pop was very upset. He told Joan you are a seamstress you make your nice clothes for your family including a suit for your husband why is it that Julie is in rags. He told Ralph and Joan that they should be a shamed for being better dressed than me. Before he left town he had Joan buy material to make me some dresses. I wanted to say my shoes didn't fit but was terrified to say anything. Pop told Ralph I better not ever seen Julie in this condition again.
The next time Pop came through he came unannounced. He was greeted by me he wasn't happy with what he saw I was looked like a beggar is how he put it so I heard he told Davis to get the St. Clairs back to St. Louis. Ralph was very angry at this point at me. I paid dearly for it. Ralph said how are we going to make it. Now I have to tell these men they won't be able to have you anymore. He told me I messed up God's plans. I was so sad I didn't understand what I had done. All I knew is from that point until we left town I was bring to pleasure to these men even missed a few days of school. I was in so much pain by the time we left town. These men seem to be angry at me so I got whipped by them. I remember the trip from Jennings Louisiana to St. Louis was a painful one. I would bit so hard on my arm to try not to cry out for every time I would move it was so painful and I knew if I cried or said I was in pain the car would stop on the side of the road and I would get it bared and spanked with a whatever stick Ralph and Joan could find. I did get it a few times that trip and ended up bleeding because of it.
I didn't realize I could have told Pop Gaylord and he would be different than the other leaders. I loved when Pop and Mom Gaylord would come visit they were such loving people. I am crying right now just thinking of them. I so miss them.
The biggest problem I have with these ntcc leaders, is the blatant hypocrisy. Yes what they're doing is wrong but it wouldn't bother me so much if they hadn't been preaching all their rules, regulations and holiness mumbo jumbo to everyone for years when they obviously didn't even follow it themselves. This world is full of sex fiends and that's certainly not too uncommon but these crooks don't have a conscience. All they care about is getting access to your money. They don't care about your children your families or anyone else. They care about their family and you've been paying their family's way for decades.
While Kekel was giving Grant the finest things, Kekel was sticking it too Julie and who knows how many others. I could be wrong but I don't think anyone is going to get Kekel. He has enough money for the best lawyer on the planet. He may be squirming a bit but he has enough money for plenty of good lawyers.
Now on the other hand, I wonder if Tanya is just sitting idly by and not questioning him about all this? You never know; unless Tanya is more of a creep than I can even imagine, she may not be too happy with old Mikey right about now. You never know though, Tanya could be a swinger, LOL. She might like to watch. If she doesn't like to role like that, she's the dummy for letting all those women come in to clean her house and be alone with her husband. There is no telling how many women he has done. Don't think for a minute that some ntcc women, (who their husbands might not be taking care of sexually very well) might have done Mike in his very own house while they were supposed to be doing cleanup. All Mike had to do is slip them a couple dollars to keep their mouth shut. If you think that women don't sleep with married men all the time you are pretty naive. It happens all the time. I'm not saying that's what Julie did but it does happen all the time and I'll bet it's happened with Mike right in his very own house with women other than Julie. Mike has been a freak all along according to Vic Johanson and it's quite obvious thats not changed.
So unless Tanya is into that freaky deaky stuff, (which is quite possible) and (if she has a brain) she may not be too happy with old Mike right about now. On the other hand, she may get sexually excited about the idea of her husband doing another woman as long as the money keeps rolling in. Some people are into that kind of stuff you know. Just saying... Oh yeah, I'll bet this ain't nothing new to Mike. His father in law was doing it for years so why wouldn't he? It wouldn't surprise me if Tanya has done the same thing. The way she acts sometimes it wouldn't surprise me if she's done another man. Wouldn't surprise me one bit. Just saying...
So the double standards aren't the only thing that is so wrong in this group. I have got to get out of this organization. I now want to question my family to make sure nothing has happened. Julie you are an amazing person to step out like this and warn us. I don't want to hurt anyone. I am pastoring a church right now. I need to decide what is best to do. I wonder if I should get it together to have money to leave town so we won't be bothered by whoever they send as the future. We have never liked this town anyway. I haven't talk to my family in so long. Maybe I will call them for some support in this decision. How did I think this church was so right? Julie please pray as I decide what to do. Julie you have been sent for this time and if people don't take you seriously then their blood is on their own hands. You have done what you could to let people know this place is not of God.
I knew Julie when she was a kid. She was always in a lot of pain. She would even fall a lot. Her parents didn't seem to care. Julie was astonishing. She would fall downstairs I think the poor girl but Julie say she was blest since she hadn't broken any bones or make a joke it got her down the stairs faster. She had amazing character through it all.
I have heard through the grape vine Julie's physical aliments are worse which I would figure she suffers worse pain then when she was a child yet here she is pointing people to Christ.
Julie may I become more concerned about others as you are today.
Julie you shine Jesus. It makes me think of this song. I hope it is blesses you as much as you bless us.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gr5Y63bDNNg
This is so difficult. How does one leave this organization? It isn't just a place you go every Sunday that you decide not to go to anymore. It is your life 7 days a week. The soul-winning, the bible studies, the services, the giving, the insulting phones, the conferences, someone telling you where you will live, how you will act, what your church is named, what hours you can work, who you can be in contact with, when you will move, and so much more. Do you just quit? Do you tell someone? I am too scared to contact anyone even if they are outside if NTCC. My family and friends outside of this organization haven't heard from me since my first year here. I don't know if it is even worth contacting them. I told them all they were going to hell and preached hard at them.
Julie you are the safest person I know that walks with God that I know to ask to pray for me. I know the power of God is upon you. I know they say women can't be anointed by God but I really think you are anointed of God. I can't tell you how grateful I am for you. You have given such hope to my wife that how these men have emotionally abused her there is still hope for life. I don't want her to hurt no more. Julie I love her please pray for us.
Ange said......
You know, those vows from a so-called preacher should mean something. Otherwise you're just a LIAR.
NTCC have made a mockery out of marriage. It is no longer a commitment for life. NTCC needs to rewrite the marriage vows.
NTCC vows for real not their fake ones:
I blank take you blank to be my wife to have and control from this day forward until NTCC say otherwise. For better in kook store clothes only in worse I can dump you. As long as you are willing to be poor; for God only wants the leaders to be rich. In sickness I can have another, in health it is my chose. To love the way NTCC teaches and use until you decide to leave the only church. I will solemnly keep these vows for now for heaven knows they are only temporary.
I am sure someone can write a better set of NTCC vows.
Hugs,
Julie
Anonymous said...
Julie you have made me realize I need to step up be a better father. I have spent too much time being minister following their rules that I have nelgected my kids. Maybe I need to leave and just be a father and husband instead. Julie please pray I feel so helpless and weak.
I have prayed and will continue to pray for strength and guides for you. Please read what is on this blog for there is a ton of information. Also http://truestoriesoflifeinthentcc.blogspot.com/ is another sort of great information as well as help to know you are not alone out here. There are great people that run these blogs and great people that share their hearts on these blogs to help all of us.
Hugs,
Julie
Anonymous said....
My ex wife and I are working on things I am in my kids life.This caused me to become a black sheep in the group so I just recently left. I am no longer a minister but I am working on being a better man. Julie you must deal with a lot speaking out being disabled trying heal in this unkind world. i say this from the kindness of my heart I hope someone is there to keep you going you deserve it.
I am sadden by the pain NTCC has caused your family. You are an incredible man to want to right the wrong to the best of your ability. It takes a true man to step up like you are doing. I pray that help you and that you will know each step you need to take. I pray healing on each of you. May your hearts be at peace with God.
Hugs,
Julie
Anonymous said...
Julie how in the world do you do it emotional and physically.
God is the only way I do it. There is nothing I can do without the strength of the Lord. I have no other way to explain it.
Hugs,
Julie
I wanted to thank each one that has step up with what you remember each one means a lot to me. Each one is important. I hope that those that remember continue speaking what you remember it helps a great deal. The more validation I receive the more I my heart is healed. Even the simple statement of I am sorry or sad that happened to you. You can't imagine what that does to my very soul. When one has spent their life being blamed the words I am sorry for what has happened or similar words to say you don't like was has happened are very powerful. The more they are repeated the more they fill the heart and mind so don't feel like a broken record if you are repeating someone's else words. It is your heart that matters most.
Hugs,
Julie
Anonymous said...
Julie I saw some of the emotional abuse you suffered I am sorry I never stepped in. I even saw your mom slap you as well as hit your with a fly swatter. I have seen you hit for interrupting because you needed to use the bathroom. Your dad slapped you across the face for being disrespectful. Thankfully your mom did take you to the bathroom. This bothered me but I was told this was how you discipline your kids. I blindly believed this was how you needed to be treated. I was presented for one of your bare bottom whipping it was so loud and hard I had to leave I felt like I was being hit. I wanted to stop it but you had done wrong. I was so blinded and young. Being a teenager it must have been humiliating even if only women and little girls could see what was happening.
Thanks for sharing what your remember. I too remember that day. I want you to know I understand and forgive you 100% for not knowing you needed to step in. God doesn't hold it against you either. Forgive yourself. You did a good thing in sharing now. Be at peace you don't have to live with the guilt any longer.
Hugs,
Julie
Anon said....
Why else would her and Mikey need to have a vow renewal?
Yeah why did they need to renew their vows? People can't have one nice wedding but yet they had a super nice wedding and a fancy renewing of vows as well. Sounds like triple standard to me. I remember their wedding Joan made the wedding dress.
Hugs,
Julie
Julie it isn’t fair what happened. I have wondered for a long time if you were okay. If you were even still alive. I am relieved you got out. I am happy you have spoken out against these people. Your words shows that God is working through you. Some people will never understand your shoes but will still care. Then you will have those that don’t understand nor care to.
Wow this has crossed my mind from time to time over the years. I am glad you spoke of it. Thanks for your kind words. Yes I have learned many don't understand that some do care and some I have to except will never care. I think for me the ones that only half way or if it is convenient for them they hurt the worst. I didn't get the chose whether to be hurt or not hurt but people get to choose whether to care or not care.
Hugs,
Julie
Anonymous Anonymous said...
The way they tried to break julie's spirit reminds me of the Moreno story. like they tried to drive her to suicide by abusing, then admonishing her.
Breaking me was their goal that was for sure. Keeping me silent was another goal as well.
Hugs,
Julie
Anonymous said.....
Only when he is done does he even ask her why she knocked on the door. She told him that Rev. Olson is on the phone for him. Ralph St. Clair doesn't even apologize to her just calls her a dumb idiot then takes the call. Later he makes what I now think was a lame attempt to tell me why he had to spank her. This was not the only time he spanked her in front of me nor the only time he would get mad at her without asking questions first.
I now wonder if all this alone time with her in his office and out on supposed errands was time to have sex with her. He spent more time with her than with his wife. Sometimes he would be in Julie's room even at night. Looking back it was just odd.
Yes Ralph failed many times to ask questions before beating me or even making sure I knew why he was mad.
Yes many of the alone times were spent having sex even in his office. He just close and lock the door. It would just appear as if there was talking going on but no it was sex. He liked to feel on me while we were in the car or have me touch on him as well in the car.
It gives me the creeps even now.
Hugs,
Julie
Witnessed said...
OMG!!! I have witnessed Julie be spanked too.
It was the first year I believe the campground was open for conference. They had open bathrooms where all there were was shower spicks and Julie’s mom was really mad at her personally didn’t think it a good reason. Witnessed said...
OMG!!! I have witnessed Julie be spanked too.
It was the first year I believe the campground was open for conference. They had open bathrooms where all there were was shower spicks and Julie’s mom was really mad at her personally didn’t think it a good reason.She began spanking Julie in the shower with a bath brush. Everyone froze. You could hear the whacking echoing.
......
It didn’t sit right with me but when I went to the leaders all I got was you don’t understand how hard it is to deal with a kid like Julie.
Oh I remember that day. I couldn't understand what I had did wrong. That day just drove it really home for me that they could whip me always and everyone approved since nothing was done to stop it.
You don't know how hard it was to deal with a kid like Julie and other similar words seem to be used quite often I noticed involving me.
Hugs,
Julie
Anonymous said.....
If you are still in the ntcc, you should absolutely have nothing to do with the St. Clair's........
God bless you Brother and Sister St. Clair... Really? No way. They won't get no God bless you's out of me and they wouldn't have got it out of Daniel or Jesus either. They would have got a piece of Daniel's and Jesus' mind and called hypocrites.
Yes I would hope people would take a hard look at what they have done and not want anything to do with them.
I agree in not saying God Bless you to them. I don't even like calling them my parents just Ralph and Joan. I don't think they deserve my respect at all. I do believe Jesus would call them hypocrites.
I appreciate the first part of your comment very much.
Hugs,
Julie
If you are a married man in the ntcc, you are dummy if you've let your wife clean Kekel's house. If you have, you might want to take a good sniff of your wife when she comes back home to see if she smells like Kekel, LOL. If you haven't been sexually involved with your wife very much, and she's been cleaning Kekel's house, she may have been giving it to him all along and I don't mean cleaning. I may sound sarcastic and crude but I'm actually not kidding. Just like men, women want "it" too and Kekel will sure give it to them. In fact, he seems so freaky, he may be doing them like you never did. So if your wife or daughter is cleaning Kekel's house, there may very well be a whole lot more going on than cleaning. Does she come home with a big smile on her face?
Look, I'm not suggesting that it was willful with Julie but with some of these women, I quite likely was. If you are not taking care of business at home, and your woman is cleaning regularly Kekel's house, he may be taking care of business for you. You are a complete dummy and naive if you don't think women want it too!!!
Now that the word is out about Kekel, some of these "unsatisfied" ntcc women may be doing everything they can to go clean Kekel's house, ROFLOL. Kekel will freak them like you never have. I wonder how many times Ms Warwick has gone to clean Kekel's house. Old rats need cheese too. LOL. Warwick and Ms. St Clair might be doing the old freaky deaky double team on Mike while Ralph watches, ROFLOL LOL LOL. Think I'm kidding? I kind of am but believe me it wouldn't surprise me not one bit. Kinson might be getting a little action also. Kinson and Mike might have their own sex ring going. Don't forget that Kinson got caught red handed coming out of a whore house oversees. Oh, I'll bet people have forgot about that one. Nothing, "I'm mean NOTHING" would surprise me anymore about the ntcc leaders. I'd bet Mike has had sex with other ntcc women. People, Mike Kekel is not a godly man. He is after nothing more than your money and maybe your wife or daughter. Boy would I sure be proud to have Mike Kekel as my leader. NOT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Anonymous said...
because Rev. Kekel has spoke heavily against you. He said only a mentally insane person would want to be your friend.
Yes I am sure Kekel is not too happy I am now speaking out about his sin. He has always referred to my mental state of mind so it isn't surprising he is referring to anyone that associates with me by their mental state of mind.
Hugs,
Julie
Anonymous said....
Hey Kekel does this make your adultery legal if you f**k a supposedly insane person - which Julie is not and never? Are you a doctor that you can determine who is insane and who is normal?
Or does it make it biblical base on mental state of mind? Thanks for making it clear you don't think I am mentally insane. I appreciate that. He judges other for what he himself does.
Hugs,
Julie
Anonymous said....
The first time I saw Kekel on a German conference with his f**king wife Tanya I would estimate him to be a very selfish person having no behavior as pertained to godliness!
Oh so his behavior is no better on foreign soil then it is on America soil?
Hugs,
Julie
Maurice said.....
Anyone who would marry mike kekel must be mentally insane/crazy, anyone who follows mike kekel is mentally insane/crazy, .............
and anyone who stays in this organization is mentally insane.
I agree!!! If you can stay in NTCC you are after the information you now have you have got to be nuts or be a very uncaring person.
Hugs,
Julie
Anonymous said....
Plus , it didn't help that Joan seemed to be around Julie all the time. I don't think I ever saw her without Joan around.
I remember one time being around some ladies and including Joan and Julie.
They were talking about sewing and one asked about putting darts on the bodice to make the pattern fit right , Joan says that full figured women have that problem but a good bra helps.
Julie my prayers go out to you.
May God restore all the things that you missed out on.
Yes Joan talked about me like that all the time. I hated it but I was taught not to have emotions nor ask her not to say things. If I would have reacted you would have probably seen me slapped. I really appreciate you sharing this. It really helps me process it knowing your feelings at the time on it. It helps me know what is normal and not normal. Thanks!
Thanks for the prayers they are so valuable to me.
Hugs,
Julie
Anonymous said....
I too remember Julie I have to agree I thought she was a bit slow she seem to have difficulty speaking stammering over her words but most of the time Joan always jump in to speak before she could finish any statement.
I remember one time Joan was speaking of guys being attracted to Julie. She said they like to talk about how hot her body is and her huge jugs are what they really liked. She said like it was something great to have something someone would want her daughter. Then she put her down by saying but getting someone willing to look pass her retardness and crippled body may be a problem. Julie just looked at the floor. She had her body so pulled to her that I think Julie would have laid in the fetus position if she could. I don’t know what Julie’s mind was like since her parents didn’t seem to let her speak much.
Yes I was difficult to understand if I was nervous. Depending on the situation I would get nervous because I knew if I was being pressed for something if Joan heard one thing that made her mad I was in trouble but to not answer an adult's question if told to speak would be far worse.
Joan always talked of me as an object not a person. The way she would talk of me I felt I had failed somehow in my existence. Yes I probably would have gone into the fetus position if possible anything to not felt out in the open. To feel some security.
Hugs,
Julie
Anonymous wrote...
I have struggled wanting to leave NTCC for a while but I have been scared of the unknown.
Anon 2 wrote...
And that's exactly where they wanted you and that was exactly their plan; to make you scared. That's how cults operate. They want you to feel that there is no life outside the cult and they want to create in you the fear of leaving. "If you leave this church, you are leaving God". "Anyone who leaves the ntcc didn't want to serve God in the first place".
Sound familiar? You better believe it. Virtually everything Davis taught was to instill in you the "FEAR" of leaving the ntcc. Kekel is the same way. It's a big psychological guilt trip and ntcc leaders and preachers are very good at it. "All Christians pay tithe and give in the offerings" implies that you are not a Christian if you don't!!! Guilt trip. Everything is a guilt trip and a psychological ploy with the ntcc leadership. They make you feel guilty if you don't want to clean the Kekel's house because he is the supposed "man of god". Well he is anything but!!! In fact I don't believe that I've ever met a more "ungodly" man than Mike Kekel or a more ungodly woman than his sorry spoiled wife. Same with Olson, Ashmore, Kinson, Jones and Johnson. Really? Yes REALLY!!! They know too much about the other ntcc leaders to be godly. How could you be godly and not separate yourselves from those creeps? You can't. I'm telling you: Kekel, Ashmore and Olson are three of the biggest creeps and degenerates that walk the face of the earth. They are totally "wolves in sheep's clothing". I know enough about all three to have absolutely no doubt whatsoever.
Why did a previous poster here say he or she hasn't talked to his or her family for years? Because that was what the ntcc leaders taught but you certainly didn't see Kekel or his sorry wife taking that approach with "Grant the sinner". They've supported every endeavor that Grant has taken and you didn't see them separating themselves from him??? But some of you ntcc dummies are too gullible and brainwashed to admit that what I'm saying is true.
You preached at and judged your children, wives, parents, brother, sisters, and relatives and all for your blind loyalty to the ntcc and what have you gotten in return? The knowledge that your hard earned money was used to help support Grant Kekel attending a Catholic University and to pay for a big house for Kekel so he could comfortably molest Julie at your expense!!!!
So what are you going to do? Remain scared? Believe me; their is life outside the ntcc and a whole lot more of it. Run from that place as fast as you can, chalk it up as stupidity, accept your loses and don't look back. If you think you are leaving God and you think that serving God is spending 5 days a week in church, than find another church and separate yourselves from creeps like Kekel, Olson, Ashmore, Kinson and Jones. Serving ntcc leaders is NOT, "I REPEAT NOT" serving God. You ntccers are like lambs being led to the slaughter. Blind leading the blind. Followers of false prophets.
Anonymous said...
Hey Kekel and Ralphy Clarky you know what - open up a home and church (home away from home haha)
especially for people who practise incest. Fathers who have sex with their daugthers and mothers who have sex with their sons and brothers and sisters who have sex with each other. Kekel you can put this upon your agenda for 2015!!
Yeah if they did that they would be being truthful about what they are doing. We know they can't be truthful. I agree that it would speak their actions loud and clear.
Several of the scriptures that you listed most of my life I was unaware those verses were in the bible. Of course they never could mention those or someone might question their sin.
Hugs,
Julie
Hopeful said...
This is so difficult. How does one leave this organization?
Anon 2 wrote...
It's easier than you think. You simply leave and stop going. After a couple weeks you'll get used to not going. Go find another church with people in it who actually care about you and your family and be careful that you don't make the same mistake twice. Many people who've left the ntcc has stepped out of one cult and into another. Get sensitive to signs of psychological guilt tripping. No church leader will ever again guilt trip me into staying at their church for one more minute than I know I should.
Anonymous said...
I heard sexual comments about Julie from her parents. Even Mike Kekel made comments back in the day that just didn't seem right for a married man to make of another lady. It bothered me but I didn't realize it was this bad.
Yes all three of them discussed my body often like there was no person inside that body.
Hugs,
Julie
Anonymous said...
I was jealous of how much time Julie got to spend at Davis' house, Ashmore's house, and Kekel's house. Now sadly I realize I had no reason to be jealous. I now am so angry that she was dragged to this homes.
Yeah people use to tell me they were jealous of me. They never said why and I didn't understand it. I am glad you are mad about me being dragged to these homes that is the reaction someone should have to abuse.
Hugs,
Julie
Anonymous Anonymous said...
I wondered why Ralph St. Clair always seem to want alone time with his daughter. Joan seem to go along with it though if you have ever watched her with church members and G.Is she wasn't so innocent herself. She would say and do things that were so improper. Both of Julie's parents made her the bad person if situations went wrong in the church or if someone even dared challenge them on anything. Yet so many people always want to claim them as parents. Women say Joan is the mother they never had. I hope every one of those women read this blog and realize how disgust Joan is for real.
You are correct he did spend a lot of lone time with me. Joan did say and do improperly towards guys.
People have claimed Ralph and Joan as their parents. Women calling Joan mom. I agreed I hope they read this blog and realize what type of person they are attaching themselves to.
Hugs,
Julie
Anonymous said....
she was intimidated, threatened, beaten or should I say tortured by her own parents, from day one in NTCC.
You are correct I was intimidated, threatened, beaten, and tortured!
Hugs,
Julie
"It's easier than you think. You simply leave and stop going."
you don't owe them a reason either
"Old rats need cheese too!"
nasty! who would willing sleep with kekel? he's got more mileage than an ol' deuce and a half!
Anonymous said...
Oh Julie how can one apologize for not standing up for you. I saw and I remember.
You just did. You also helped by stepping up with what you remember. I forgive you 100%. God is willing to forgive too if you ask. Then forgive yourself and reach out continue to help others. Every voice every comment counts.
Hugs,
Julie
Anonymous said...
I saw Julie get her bottom beaten too. I was a member at the Lakewood church which I believe was on 96th at that time.
I was so shaken by what I saw. I did ask her father later why did Julie still get spankings at her age? Of course I was chewed out later from the pulpit about not questioning his parenting God called him to rule his children it wasn't his members business what he does with his children. Julie seemed embarrassed to look at me the next time we had church.
I am sorry for what you witness but am relieved to know why you left. I now understand why the chewing out about his parenting. When parenting turned into severe abuse Ralph made it become someone's else business. I didn't look at you because I thought you were mad at me for ruining your plans.
I appreciate your willingness to comment going that extra mile is a help.
Hugs,
Julie
Anonymous said.....
*no compassion
*no common decency
*no respect for your body or others
These are words that do describe Kekel.
Hugs,
Julie
Anonymous Anonymous said...
Oh this is what happened that day. I was around that day she was told Kekel wanted to see her at the Lodge. Her son was just an infant. I didn’t see or hear her called to go see him but after she had already gone I was asked to wait for her. I was to take her to the motel where her baby was when the meeting was over. What I am about to say it hard for me to even type.
Oh I am so so grateful that you wrote this very difficult comment. I am glad someone noticed something that day. Your willingness to step forward means the world to me. Even though you went told the wrong people I am happy to know you had a concern for me. As far as writing me off as the problem I completely understand with the mind games cover ups, lies, and shifting blame it confuses many.
I want to say I forgive you 100% percent. Turn to God He will forgive you too. He can give you peace. He gives grace for we all need His grace in our lives. Forgive yourself ask Him for His help He gladly helps His children. You don't have to be perfect for God to be willing to help you.
Hugs,
Julie
Don and Ange thanks for having an enough faith to allow Julie to write on this blog. Even though you didn’t witness what happened to her personally I am glad you loved her enough to give her a voice. Finally someone standing up for her and trusting her. I hope your love and support doesn’t leave her no matter what. She needs beautiful Christian friends as you because she probably doesn’t have many true friends. She is lucky to have you so very lucky!
Yes I am to thankful that Don and Ange had enough faith to allow me to speak. Let God lead their hearts as only He can. Their love which shines Jesus all the way that God type of love change my life. Their love and support with God as the leader I couldn't do it without it. I am truly blest with such special friends sent from God to my life. They step up defend and protect me and I am forever grateful to them as well as to God. They don't do it because they have to they do it from a willing and caring heart.
Everyone they help, is because they want to and love to care about others.
Hugs,
Julie
Chief said...
Wow. Lots of testimonials here.
Yes Chief I am amazed at how many people have step up with a testimony of what they have seen.
Thanks for the comment. I appreciate seeing you on here.
Hugs,
Julie
Anonymous said...
Don and Ange, I don't know you but I truly thank you from my heart for taking the time to keep this blog going.
Yes I am thankful they keep this blog going since I am here to speak because of their faithfulness to God. I promise you that you are not alone in your struggles. I struggle and some days harder then others. Since reading your comment the other day I have been praying for you every day and will continue to pray for you. God loves you nothing nor any person can ever change that. His love is permanent never temporary.
Hugs,
Julie
Anonymous said...
Wow I am grateful anon asked about dealing with being in a cult. I have wondering the same thing. You may shared it before but I missed it. I am trying to understand how to look up things on the blog. Sorry for being stupid. Thanks for helping people.
I am too grateful for people that ask questions. It makes me feel better knowing I am not the only one asking a ton of them. Plus then I get a repeat on information myself and I didn't even have to ask. (BIG SMILE) That is why I am too grateful for the other anon that asked about recovering from a cult.
I am with you there in understanding how to find things on the blog. I can't say I fully mastered that one yet so don't feel stupid or I might have to feel that way too. I know for a fact they don't mind your questions at all.
Hugs,
Julie
Anonymous said...
I witnessed stuff that happened to Julie even approved. Do you thinking God will forgive me? It is bad.
First off the fact that you are asking this tells me you no longer approve. I am so happy because this means you don't want other children to be abused. I not only think I know he will forgive you all you have to do is ask. He isn't waiting to hurt you He is simply waiting to help and forgive you. His love for you is great. I forgive you 100%. I do not hold anything against you at all. I hope that you will forgive yourself because in that place people's minds get all twisted up causing them to approve of things ignore things that they wouldn't if not in that group.
Hugs,
Julie
Anonymous said...
I too have wondered if God will fogive me for what I witnessed with Julie. It has ate at me for years. Her father abused her spent a lot of alone talked about her breasts in a sexual matter. I am relieved God forgives me for doing nothing.
Yes God forgives that is such a blest thought. I hope you forgive yourself too for I also forgive you 100%. Thank you for sharing it helps to share what you have witness. Your voice is needed for me to heal and so that others can stop and think about what they have seen or maybe seeing even now.
Hugs,
Julie
Anon said.....
julie's story brings to light about teachings that came from bible school. sisters at one time complained about the sexually inappropriate behavior of some of the brothers or ministers. depending on that brother's level of brainwashing concerns were dismissed or categorized as hysterics. if you were sexually abused as a child, you were told to get over it or pray it through. rape was the victims fault: where were they; what did the wear; did they cry out? what archaic misogynistic teachings! rape is a crime of violence,anger and hatred."ralphy's" need to engage in a consanguineous and adulterous relationship with his daughter was about disdain and control.
Can you explain what the inappropriate behavior was exactly?
Yes victims are blamed for the sexual perverts actions. It is like saying the store had a cash register so you can't blame the robber for robbing the store or there was a worker or a customer in the store so you can't blame the robber for shooting them.
Hugs,
Julie
Anonymous said...
I have witnessed Kekel as well Davis walk pass Julie slap her on the butt tell her to behavior herself what shocked was she didn't surprised or reacted right for her age. She looked very scared. She would stutter out yes sir out. One time her father was there. He just got upset with Julie didn't defend her. I was puzzled but when I asked about it i got jacked up for questioning the man of God. I wonder if she got more swats later?
Yes they whipped me so much it didn't shock me it terrified me. Kekel would sometimes walk by swat me on the backside then laugh. One thing that was for sure when they swatted me on the backside telling me to behavior myself it meant either they didn't like me talking with people at that point or heard something about me they didn't like. Yes if I was swatted in public I got a whole lot more later. Yeppers any questioning of the leaders would get you jacked up without a doubt. Ralph defend me? not in a million years he was more concerned about himself then he was ever of me.
Hugs,
Julie
DNA said....
Think about that.
What will that mean to folks who are now in this ntcc?
Will they continue to listen to the lies of these predators and realize twenty years from now that they could have saved a child from a life of abuse?
People, the choice is yours. Will you do what God wants you to do?
If you stay you are spitting in my face telling me I deserved what happen. Why else would you continue to support people that have abused me. You also say it doesn't matter if there is another victim as long as my life doesn't have to go through a change and I don't have to face the unknown out there. Do you hate children? If you stay you must do.
Consider what your acts or reactions are speaking. There may be a victim that is waiting to see if you will continue to support this place. You leaving may give them the courage to leave as well. Maybe even speak out against what has happened to them. If you are not for violence quits supporting it. If you are not for sexual abuse quit supporting it. Let your acts and reactions speak to where you stand.
Hugs,
Julie
To all of you who are going to make a decision ...
Please pray and have faith in the Lord.
Have not I commanded thee? Be strong and of a good courage; be not afraid, neither be thou dismayed: for the Lord thy God is with thee whithersoever thou goest. Joshua 1:9
My prayers are with you all
Anonymous said...
Julie because of some of your last posts I left NTCC turned my life for reals to Jesus. I am working on showing my wife I am not going to be a jerk that I was before. Julie you gave me the wake up I needed. You made realize I was emotionally hurting my wife. I am no longer a minister but I am being a husband. How you can care about others shocks me. May God bless you for your faithfully speaking until all hear.
I am so thrilled to hear of your courage and that you are treating wife the way you should. Thank you God for opening this man's eyes. May you be all God wants you to be as you look to Him for guides.
I pray that God will keep leading and guiding me to all hear. Thank you for your kind words I couldn't do it without all that put their hand into fight to see that all may know the wrong that is done whether it is a small wrong or a huge one. Any wrong hurts and destroys people's lives. God help us all for we can't do it without Him.
Hugs,
Julie
Anonymous said...
I have struggled wanting to leave NTCC for a while but I have been scared of the unknown. Reading Julie life has made me realize the dangerous of this place is greater then my fear. If Julie can risk being attacked and being treated bad I can step out take my family to safety. In the couple of weeks we have lost a lot but I have turned to God. Julie for the first I found the God you serve and he is everything you have shared him to be. Thank you for humbling being a light of the real Jesus.
I give all glory to God for it couldn't happen without His power working. I am so happy your eyes have been open this is what I want for all. If the hell I went through can wake up people to the evil and dangerous in this place. Then I can truly believe God can use anything to work in people's lives. I am humbled to have any part in God's plan for He is not obligated to use me. I am so grateful for the grace and love of God.
Hugs,
Julie
Hugs
Anonymous said...
i wonder how many other preacher's daughters were violated.
I hope more will come forward and those that have witnessed things that happened to them will come forward as well.
Hugs,
Julie
Anonymous said......
I have seen Julie slapped getting a bloody nose in the process.
The reason she was slapped is she was trying to defend another sister. she was asked about this sister Julie told the truth but was punished.
Thanks for sharing what you seen. It means a lot to me every voice that speaks. I was in trouble if I kept quiet and I was in trouble if I answered when question. Either way trouble it got me.
Hugs,
Julie
With davis now being maggot food, it should come to know ones surprise, if verna davis pork chops, start looking quite tasty to an old goat like olson. These folks will swap spit with each others wives like there's no tomorrow. I'am also thinking about changing my screen name again to "mentally insane"
Anonymous said...
I commend everyone's bravery, this is obviously not an easy thing to talk about. I'm so sorry you had to go through this. May these accounts open the eyes and the hearts of others before it's too late for others.
I too am pleased that people are stepping up. I know it isn't something people like talking about but it is needed on so many levels. Thanks for saying you don't like what happened. I appreciate your care. I pray that it does open people's eyes before there are more victims that suffer unnecessarily. If you know the wolf is in the chicken coop you don't wait for him to eat all the chickens or assume he will only take one. You do something to stop the wolf and you protect the chickens.
If they had a shotgun and you heard they kill children; would you allow them around your children? Of course not. Then why knowing they molested children would you let them near your children. You say I can protect my children I just don't let them near. That is like say I am only on the property of the child killer we aren't too near the child killer I can stop all bullets from ever coming near my children.
Think about it people. Does it really sound reasonable?
Hugs,
Julie
Maurice said...
Another reason to suspect why the kekels would pay for the st. clairs and Barbra Nortons ride to the conference, could be kekels slick way of winning them over. Barbra Norton and the st. clairs was very very loyal and supportive to davis, well, going forward kekel is going to need those folks to be just as loyal to him as they were to davis. He needs those who would sacrifice there own children just so they could be excepted in the beloved of ntcc. Kekel may be perverted, overrated, and corrupt, but he's not all stupid, it's the followers that are blind, stupid, and ignorant.
Very true Maurice! I appreciate every comment you post. Thank you for your faithfulness in commenting on the blog.
Hugs,
Julie
Anonymous said...
"He needs those who would sacrifice there own children just so they could be excepted in the beloved of ntcc."
wonder how many people will be willing to lend kekel a dollar or two once his assets get frozen?
Yes he needs those willing to sacrifice their children so if people will stop sacrifice their children and families he will run out of people to use to get his way.
Good question who would give him money and who would open their eyes and run from that evil nasty man.
Hugs,
Julie
Hugs,
Julie
DNA said....
And please, don't be afraid to get rid of those nasty leftovers!
Okay out they go. It frees up space too.
Hugs,
Julie
Anonymous said.....
How did I think this church was so right? Julie please pray as I decide what to do. Julie you have been sent for this time and if people don't take you seriously then their blood is on their own hands.
They get into people's minds twisting scriptures and other stuff to make things appear to ring true. You aren't the only one that got to believe their twisted ways. I have and will continue to pray for you and your family. All we can do is warn, encourage and love people it is up to them what they do with it all.
Hugs,
Julie
Anonymous Anonymous said...
I knew Julie when she was a kid. She was always in a lot of pain. She would even fall a lot. Her parents didn't seem to care. Julie was astonishing. She would fall downstairs I think the poor girl but Julie say she was blest since she hadn't broken any bones or make a joke it got her down the stairs faster. She had amazing character through it all.
Thanks for the kind words and song. As I have said before I couldn't do it without the support of those that comment, pray, encourage me a long the way. I am grateful to Don and Ange for being willing to give me the opportunity to speak on this blog. They could have turned me away but with God's guides they didn't do that. Thank you everyone that does your part I need we need every single one of you out there. I am grateful for the other blogs out there too and the people that run them. May God bless all of those that try their best to warn others and give a voice to others too. They are all awesome people.
Hugs,
Julie
Anonymous said...
If you are a married man in the ntcc, you are dummy if you've let your wife clean Kekel's house.
I do wonder how many more women he has had sex with under the umbrella of another excuse of helping the man of God. I love your sarcastic way of putting it too.
Anonymous said....
Look, I'm not suggesting that it was willful with Julie
Thank you for saying you didn't think I did it willingly because I would have thought you felt that if you hadn't throw that in. I appreciate you being clear.
Hugs,
Julie
Maurice said....
I'am also thinking about changing my screen name again to "mentally insane"
Maurice you made me laugh so hard. Thanks for that laugh sure needed it.
Hugs,
Julie
Anonymous Anonymous said...
To all of you who are going to make a decision ...
Please pray and have faith in the Lord.
Have not I commanded thee? Be strong and of a good courage; be not afraid, neither be thou dismayed: for the Lord thy God is with thee whithersoever thou goest. Joshua 1:9
My prayers are with you all.
Thanks for the encouraging words to those thinking of leaving. Also appreciate you giving them an encouraging scripture. Best of all it thrills my heart that you are praying for them all. Each one needs your prayers. This let me know you have a heart for those still in even though you are out.
Hugs,
Julie
Julie as you write you share you are healing. You say we are helping. Do you still have dark days at times? You seem to speak with such power of God so I was wondering this question.
Wondering said......
Do you still have dark days at times? You seem to speak with such power of God so I was wondering this question.
Oh a big yes to that question in fact there are times I feel the sky of my life is more often stormy then the sun ever shining. Yet God comes through every time in His perfect timing. In stormy weather I appreciate this blog so much. It is meant so much to me the many people who comment. It blesses my heart.
As my sky seems so stormy even as I type this I see God at work in lives and this is more important to me then anything in the world. I hate what has happened in my life but am happy God can take it use it to help others. To God be the glory for only He can make all things beautiful. I pray my life glorifies Him in everything I say and do.
Hugs,
Julie
One tenth must be RWs favorite number. Even if "1/10" of what she said was true, Julie still had to endure a horrible life.
Anonymous said...
One tenth must be RWs favorite number. Even if "1/10" of what she said was true, Julie still had to endure a horrible life.
I do agree that it must have been is favorite faction. He did use it often. He would use it others times as well.
Hugs,
Julie
After guys outside of the church started having sex with me our life all of a sudden got better. New clothes were bought and material to make clothes.
As I continued having sex with men outside of the church financial things got better. We moved into better living conditions and what was in our house was a whole lot better condition including our car
Ralph was very angry at this point at me. I paid dearly for it. Ralph said how are we going to make it. Now I have to tell these men they won't be able to have you anymore. He told me I messed up God's plans.
Yes the father was (or still is??) a Pimp (a real evil Pimp) including Davis, Kekel etc.
He was taking the money the men paid for having sex with his daughter - think about it. And this is a Pastor??? And he's getting blessed by Davis and Kekel, etc. for all this!!!
Maurice said...
"Another reason to suspect why the kekels would pay for the st. clairs and Barbra Nortons ride to the conference...."
kekel paying norton and st. clairs way to conference ,THEN saying ugly things about julie makes him look guilty.
Felonious said...kekel paying norton and st. clairs way to conference ,THEN saying ugly things about julie makes him look guilty.
Yes it does Felonious. Most liars and perverts make themselves look more guilty in the attempt to prove they are not guilty.
Hugs,
Julie
Post a Comment