I Have A Name

Psa 27:10 When my father and my mother forsake me, then the LORD will take me up.

There Are No Orphans By The Talley Trio


This year we learned of what is, to date, the worst case of abuse in the NTCC.  A woman contacted us and has bravely and honestly shared some of the horrific things done to her while in the NTCC.  Here is her story:

I am known as the St.Clairs’ daughter or Donny Ridgeway’s ex-wife and I have something difficult to hear but important to share.

I am writing this as healing for some and understanding for others which can lead to saving and rescuing lives.

As I thought about going public with this information, one of my concerns was, who would believe me. To many people I was labeled a liar after being caught talking about sexual stuff that had happened to me. Some were told never to believe what came out of my mouth.

I will never forget having to tell people I lied about the sexual stuff and even having to go before the board and be humiliated in front of my now ex-husband. I learned to question my sanity and even feel guilty like it was my fault or a complainer. I remember going to each of the girls and having to say I lied. I felt so lost and alone like no one understood my pain. Wait, pain is that what this deep ache in my heart is attributed to ? Feeling like, Did I have a right to my pain or was I the guilty one? So confused, maybe I had caused the attention to my body.

I don’t want to at this point address all the sexual abuse from many sources but I do want to address the sexual abuse of my father.

I didn’t have a normal father/daughter relationship. Since he did sexual stuff to me I thought the most important thing was my body. I have hated my breasts for years not for the size but every time I would look at them I thought of him. I even dreamed of having them surgically removed. There were days I wish they would disappear. As the years have passed and age has changed my body I felt worse and worse about myself. My value was in my body; as I got older my value went down to me. You might ask were you bitter and angry at him? This one is hard to answer. Well first for a long time I wasn't sure who was at fault and then I was labeled a liar. I was angry but I was sure who or what made me feel this way. I was so confused with people’s reaction to everything in my life. Someone did me a favor this year and decided to ask my mother about the sexual stuff between me and father. Shocking there was some admitting to some of the stuff that happened. I had been so taught the only emotion I could have was happiness, that I was numb to all other emotions for the most part. I have went through many emotions in dealing with it all this year. I am slowly working through it. Communication with men is still difficult and avoid when possible. Hey they are moving up in my book even though it is at tortoise pace.

This year I have learned what he did was wrong and it is not my fault. I intern this year I have got help and been empower which has made me a better person, a whole woman and mother. I thank God for helping to heal me. I write today not to prove my story but to let those who have lived in silence with their sexual trauma know "YOU ARE NOT ALONE.” I have been there.

I hope that you will listen to this song completely through, taking in all the words into your heart.

Hugs, Julie ( Yes I have a name)

You're My Little Girl by Go Fish

We want to add, for the record, WE BELIEVE YOU JULIE!  Thank You for courageously sharing part of your true story.  When the abuse happened to you as a child, you were a victim.  Since then you have grown and become an Over-comer.  Now, by sharing your true story to reach out to and help others, you have become a Champion.

We have much to say about this.  For now, we want people to be aware that not only does sexual abuse of children take place in the NTCC, but the NTCC's top leaders hide the abusers, afflict the innocent victims, and endanger other children by willfully and purposely allowing known abusers to retain their ministers' licenses or positions of trust in the church.

This story, the Michael Fontenot story, and others' that have been shared under anonymity establish a clear pattern of abuse within the NTCC that is condoned and perpetrated by the New Testament Christian Churches of America, Inc.'s top leaders.

To those who have suffered, we pray for your healing.

To those who are suffering, we pray for not only your healing, but your freedom.

To those who have wronged the innocent:  Repent.

Helen Ashmore told me one time, with tears in her eyes, "Those kids, they remember." (I believed, at the time, she was speaking of her love for her son Jerry / Larry Duran; and that she hoped the love would win him back to the organization.)  For his sake, we hope not!

To the organization we now say, "Those kids, they remember."

They have grown up and now know they are not your property.  Each one of them has a name.

Also from a healed heart, Julie shares:

IS IT REALLY EVERLASTING?


I would like to address SALVATION. First I would like to share what The Word Of God has to say.


NEVER ENDING SALVATION

John 6:47 says

“Verily, verily, I say unto you, He that believeth on me hath everlasting life.”

John 3:15 says

“That whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have eternal life.”


NO REJECTIONS


John 6:37 says

"All that the Father giveth me shall come to me; and him that cometh to me I will in no wise cast out."


NO MAN CONTROLS OUR SALVATION


Acts 4:12 says

"Neither is there salvation in any other: for there is none other name under heaven given among men, whereby we must be saved."

SALVATION BRINGS FREEDOM NOT BONDAGE


Romans 8:15 says

"For ye have not received the spirit of bondage again to fear; but ye have received the Spirit of adoption, whereby we cry, Abba, Father."


BY GRACE ONLY


Romans 11:6 says

"And if by grace, then is it no more of works: otherwise grace is no more grace. But if it be of works, then it is no more grace: otherwise work is no more work."

Ephesians 2:8-9 says


“For by grace are ye saved through faith; and that not of yourselves: it is the gift of God: Not of works, lest any man should boast.”


SALVATION IS SIMPLE


Romans 10:9 says

"That if thou shalt confess with thy mouth the Lord Jesus, and shalt believe in thine heart that God hath raised him from the dead, thou shalt be saved."

Romans 10:13 says

“For whosoever shall call upon the name of the Lord shall be saved.”

Salvation is for you. You may say Julie it is too late. My friend were there is breath, there is always hope. God loves you!

Maybe you are still questioning grace. Well let me tell you how it was put to me. It took a while for someone to convince me that God was really real….then that He loved me and then that He died for me. One thing I couldn't understand was grace. She said, “You mean to tell me God is up there putting your name in the Lamb’s Book of Life then when you mess up He takes it out and when you repent He puts it back in.”

All I could picture is a hole forming after so many times of erasing. So that would mean God has to keep adding angels to the team of erasing people’s names out and putting them back in. With that much work there has got to be more than one Lamb’s Book of Life.

You may say that is ridiculous, Julie. Sometimes it is hard to realize how ridiculous our thinking is until someone puts it into plain English. My daughter has these big erasers that says “Not Again” “Big Mistakes” and I forget the other one which leads me to this last thought.


You say God doesn’t make mistakes. Then why does your God need eraser?

To see part two of her story:

I Have A Name Part 2