"This is i" - Bro-Ken Survives Rape at the NTCC Servicemen's Home and Seminary St. Louis formerly NTCG Midwestern Bible Institute

Today we received an e-mail from a Former licensed and Ordained minister of 30 years, who was forwarding the story of Bro. Ken who was a friend of this minister back in the early 80's.  Whether you pronounce that Brother Ken or BroKen, both are correct. Ken MacPherson endured rape and assault at the hands of three individuals listed by name. He was further traumatized and demonized by the very individuals who should have helped him, namely, James Ross Ashmore and Rodger Wilson Davis.  Bro-Ken feels all this was the result of a psychology paper assigned in the NTCC which, during the nineties, was called the "This Is I" paper.  In it the students were supposed to list their sins and life before coming to Christ for salvation. I never understood why a Christian would demand that from another Christian.  The blood of Christ cleanses us from all sin; and God removes our transgressions as far as the East is from the West; He casts all our sins into the depths of the sea. 1 John 1:7 Psalm 103:12 Micah 7:19 here

Ocean Floor by Audio Adrenaline on YouTube


It is our opinion that Davis and other NTCC members exploited this information from these papers to harm folks.  Here, in his own words, and with his permission is Bro-Ken's story.  He wants people to know that his psychology paper was used to target him.

This is a hard thing for me to do and say but twice by 1982 I got raped in NTCC one at the service men's home while out soul winning and the other in the dorm on Eiller St, Davis kept telling me it was my fault, I deserved it, He told me the homosexuals are coming after me because I was living in sin.

 and   the the reason he moved me from Forest Ave, to Eiller St. I met Susan she was local neighbor around the church  and in 81 we had a son David, Davis knew this from the psychology paper  we wrote about our self's. He would not let her join the church Davis told me in the office he wanted me to go to Tacoma and Leave St. Louis behind but I could not have anything thing more to do with Susan, I said no He then said I guess I will tell every one you left because you wanted to be a Homosexual I said  whatever, I then said to him even though you know it is not the truth, he told me I made the decision not him, and then said that he could not have all the brothers finding local whores to sleep with.

In my heart I blame myself for so much   you have no idea. I let an un Godly man try and destroy me. make me believe that I was something I was not, and then only to find out from the blogs that my attacker got to rape one of the sisters it hurts so bad inside, I know its my fault, Davis did nothing to stop it.

Rape survivors feel shame and guilt for things that are NOT THEIR FAULT. NTCC Rapists blame the victims and assassinate their characters by telling lies about them from the pulpit after kicking them out.

 Susan left my son and I in 86,Because I went back to NTCC, If I was such a homosexual, and as you know they can't be saved then why did he let me come back? because he knew the truth, It was never about homosexual, it was always about  Susan, and by the end of 87 I left for good because Ashmore and I could not get along,

 I called him, Ashmore, a pervert and that he was protecting them, and unless you have been raped or molested, Julie St. Claire is spot on when it comes to the perverts, you don't have to be touched yet, you know you just know something is going to happen just the way they look at you or touch you. And for Lisa I wish Davis had put Johnny out, the way he did me, or we had the laws back then like we have now, I just wish I could have done some thing.I have so much more pain and guilt after reading Don and Anges blog, hear your story and Anges call of trumpet, 

Ange says, I want to apologize to any rape and abuse survivors that I have hurt by calling them to report rape or abuse in order to prevent future victims.  Those things are not your fault.  The blame for rape lies with the rapist. The blame for abuse lies with the abuser. I apologize to anyone I have hurt by calling them to action to prevent future victims. The fact is rapists cause rapes.

but at Holly Hills there were those brothers that treated me great, I may not have been as receptive to them as I should have and for that I'm sorry, but when you go through certain things, you  have a certain amount of disconnect with people, and then there it is the people you know you are going to have a problem,

Mr.. Peters was one of them not only did he make advances and Ashmore did nothing about it but to blame me Mr. Peters started to write me letters asking for sex and again Ashmore kicked me out of the office its my fault, that's what I get for coming back,
why does it have to be the victims fault, we already live a life of shame and guilt that can never go away. 

Support Male Survivors of Abuse. They look strong, but inside may be broken. Survivors: Know that you are not alone. There are people who care about you and about what happened.  It was not your fault.  Like this photo shows on its right edge, Trauma And Dissociation, it is normal for a person who has suffered trauma to feel separated or disconnected.  That is normal and in time the survivor can heal and reconnect with those who have proven trustworthy. Give yourself time to heal and do what works for you. Take time in your healing and grieving process. You deserve love and to be happy.

 and then there was

 NTCC Founding Board
 Member James Ross
 "Ashmore called me
 a liar he told me to
 get out get out get out
 I wish you would just leave,
 so I did, right out the door.
 Davis told [Ashmore] I don't
 believe you [Ashmore]. Bro.
 Macpherson has never lied
 to me [Davis.] why now[?]"
 *Quote marks and bracketed
 [-] material added for clarity.*

Mr.. Batson it was a church night he made sex advances on me, it happened so fast I did not see that one coming, but he took it to a dark Place he told me he was leading people to Hell, I was in shock, I said to him you go after people for sex, and the what?
 he said I ask them about God once and if they say no, If Hell is what they want then I will lead them to the deepest part of it.   knowing this was going to be hard to believe, I went to Ashmores  office told him what happened, he called me a liar he told me to get out get out get out I wish you would just leave, so I did, right out the door.

then I heard brother Macpherson you don't go to church don't come back it was Davis he asked me what was going on I told him, we went in to the office he asked Ashmore he denied it, Davis said, so he did not tell you Batson was leading people to Hell Ashmore said no sir, Davis told him I don't believe you, Bro. Macpherson has never lied to me why now, Ashmore I don't know  sir. he told me go up stairs I don't need to hear this, Davis ask someone to bring Batson down, and that night Batson was put out of the church, for those of you who were wonder why he was put out. then I left in the January 88. some NTCC people will want to lie But you know he kicked Batson out.
(foot note) later on I ask Batson one time  why me,   He said because it was said of me I left in 83 because I wanted be gay. All because
one man tells a lie, and goes out of his way to make people believe  in that lie. But for the grace of God the many times I went to kill my self
and God had some one there to save me from trying to throw my self in front of the metro link train to hanging my self.     

In defense of Johnny he was one of my best friends I had, I still have a pen holder he made for me from his machine shop job he had.
we were both 5/7 and 150 pounds, but that night he was on drugs, and at the Eiller St. dorm Jonny, Dorsie, and Wells slept upstairs and I slept in the basement.  that night he wanted hang out with me while I typed my notes,  because he said he had taken something and did  not want the brothers see him acting weird, now please don't any body fool themselves, Johnny was not the only one popping pills, I got operated on twice and brothers would come to me for pain pills, but that night I don't know what he took, because on any other day I could throw him down not that night. at light out time everyone went to their  beds and he came back assaulted me.

two things I regret the most is the lose of fellowship of some great brothers and sisters some whose names I can not now remember
nor locate, and that they never knew my real story, Mark dally does know about my assault in the service men's home, because of some strokes
the other is my son David he feels he had a hard life from the time he was 10 until he left my home to be the man he is to day,
I never let him out of my sight, and had to always know the who the what the were the why  and when he would always say Dad you're the only Dad in America that acts that way, and I would always say I'm the only Dad in America that is your Father and I do it because I love you

and in the mid 2000s I did became a minister and my son and grandchildren were there I gave the church my whole testimony and I mean
everything the rapes the molestation, agreeing with Davis about the Homosexuality, NTCC, because I wanted all out in the open so nothing
could come back on me and when I got done my son and grandchildren came running up to me at the pulpit told the church this is my Dad and I love him, and at that moment in time nothing else mattered, as my son whispered in my ear if I had only known, thank you for protecting me the way you did. and the church said we love you to brother will you take the job, no secret ballet need and I said yes,
today I have step-down because of health reasons,   but  I do write Words of Encouragement for the church each week

Now you know my story because of the strokes, I did not know how to get on the blogs like Don and Ange, and I know there are people out there hate me because Davis and Ashmore tell them to and even after knowing the truth some will still not want to believe and that's ok because they will do whatever NTCC tells them to do.

But people need to know that are in NTCC when you write those psychology papers for them you just put a target on your back, Kekel and the rest of those  perverts are going to use them to choose their victims, because by those papers tell them what type of person you are and can they get away with rapping or molesting you or your children, and then their mind games begin they did nothing and you made it up.   

 Allegedly:  NTCC used the Psychology Papers  Titled
 "This Is i" to gain intimate facts about  people.
 Then the NTCC used that knowledge to  target
 those people or their kids for rape and  abuse.
 Then the NTCC blamed and ostracized the  victims.
 It's our opinion that the NTCC is wicked! 

To Clarify whose who, Ken added the following paragraph:

Dave Peters was part of Rev Jones church on Forest Ave, and went over to Holly Hills also, Harold Batson had been a student at Holly Hills under Ashmore, but Left school for some reason, he told me when he left   Ashmore liked him so he never put him out of the church, I found that to be strange and he also got to go to Forest Ave.  Which I thought was strange also how they both got to go to both churches, I could not figure that one out why.

In 86 at a low point in my life I went to Forest Ave it was late at night I was making one last plea with God before I was going to end my life, some one had called Rev. Jones a guy was on the property it was me, he came down  we talked for a while and then he asked me

to come to church, Susan would not because she was rejected before, so why now she said.  a few months later he wanted me to go back to the school, but it had to be under Ashmore, both Peters and Batson never put there hands on me until I went to Holly Hills, so for sure I know Batson was a student at one time but not sure a bout Peters, but this one thing he kept them around for some reason.

Vote Anonymously On This Post By Clicking On The Corresponding Lettered Boxes Below:   **You Can Choose Multiple Answers** All votes are anonymous. We don't see who is voting.

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A)  Sounds True.
B)  Sounds Cultish.
C)  I Read It.
D)  I was forced to have sex when I was only a child.
E)  I too was raped.
F)  I'm afraid to get caught commenting on this blog.
G)  Glad To Be Out of ntcc.
H)  I told ntcc church leaders but got no help.
I)   I'm Thinking Of Leaving ntcc.
J)   I am a woman.

K)  I am a man.

L)  In my opinion Ashmore is a creep.