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| The Ten Commandments Of R. W. Davis (Remember: "You People" make the RULES!) |
1. All Christians pay tithes and give in offerings.
2. Dishonor you mother and father by isolating yourselves from them and not speaking to them or visiting them for decades.
3. Covet your neighbor's wife, get divorced and remarried frequently.
4. Look down thy nose at everyone that is not a member of your church; remember: We are the LAST MOVE of God on Earth!
5. Thou shalt hate thy neighbors and love thyself.
6. Honor thy Pastor with monetary gifts and make him rich beyond his wildest dreams.
7. Invite not the poor into thy tabernacle, for they have no money to give to thy Pastor.
8. Worship thou thy Pastor and give him praise. Find no fault with him and pay no attention to his philandering ways.
9. Thou shalt not find fault with thy pastor when he is in the unfortunate position of having to enforce rules that he never made.
10. Thou shalt bless thy pastor by showering him with gifts like new Cadillacs every year, gun collections, knife collections, Henry rifles, Presidential Rolex watches, Diamond Pinky rings, musical instrument collections and lots of money, so he can take voyages across the country in his recreational vehicles and be totally unaccountable for his actions while his wives shoppeth for Alpaca scarves and expensive decorative furniture for their mansions which are cleaned by the peasant class of subservient slaves that was created for the purpose of providing a luxurious lifestyle of excess for a select and elite few.
We look at this stuff and laugh but it's really pretty sick actually. Normal people look at ntcc rules and shake their heads thinking, what kind of an idiot would fall for something that stupid? Normal Christians probably even wonder why people would subject themselves to a set of rules that defy common sense.
ReplyDeleteNotice that I said "Normal people and Normal Christians", because what the ntcc teaches is far from normal. We know that the bible is amazing and God's people are peculiar, but not to the extent that the ntcc teaches. Peculiar does not mean to be a dork or a dufus. Dufus is an noun which means a stupid person or someone who hasn't got a clue! They live in blissful ignorance of the world, fashion, personal hygiene and social skills. God doesn't have dufuses but the ntcc sure has their share.
I'll admit that I was one of them, but it's good to be free from all ntcc related dufunticity. Christians have enough to deal with and shouldn't have the added stigma of being a dork.
DnA
Commandment 11: Thou shall not think with thy brain as your pastor will think for you and likewise, never question thy pastor as he is always right.
ReplyDeleteCommandment 12: Thou shalt forsake the entire chapter of Proverbs 31.
Commandment 13: If thou havest a problem with one of his pastors you have a problem with Rdubest, and if you have problem with Rdubest, you have a problem with Me.
Commandment 14: Thou women may not workest lest in any wise they be rightfully be considered virtuous.
Commandment 15: Thy youngsters my not have fun whilest they art young unless the youngster be the grandson of my servant Rdubest. Then he shalt havest fun as it is written.
Commandment 16: Thou shalt abhor the Catholic church and call it thine great whore unlest it is used for purpose of education for the grandson of mine servant, Rdubest.
Commandment 17: Thou shalt in no wise help the needy as such practices are an abomination unto the Lawd thy Gawd.
Commandment 18: Thou shalt bow down to mine servant the Kekelest and when thou art required, thou shalt cleanest his abode as his wife Jezatanya is too busy to clean her own abode as it is too big and she is exceedingly busy with the work of the Lawd/(She shoppest).
Commandment 19: And akin to Commandment 18, thou shalt in no wise leave mine servant the Kekelest underwear soiled when thou cleanest his abode and Jezatanya shalt supervise thee throughout thy labors and the labors of thy fellow wives of NTCC brainwashees.
Commandment 20: Thou shalt be stupid in all thy days and never thinkest with thy brain and thou shalt be broke and destitute so that mine servant the Kekelest and his thick wife Jezatanya mayest havest twain exceeding abodes, great in stature, that they mayest givest great lofty and burdensome commands from.
Commandment 21: Thou shalt most definitely sacrifice alt thine increase so that Jezatanya's son shalt in anywise attend the most extraordinary sanctuaries of learning in that he canst be educated unlike all thine stupid unlearned offspring who were commanded to attend the NTCCest B.S. (B**L S**T) school.
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ReplyDeleteCommandment 22: Thou shalt live in poverty and be destitute all the days of thine life lest too much of thine money be unavailable to the son of mine servant, the Kekelest.
ReplyDeleteCommandment 23: Thou shalt drive a crappy car and it shalt have no less than 5 seats or it shalt invariably be called a "Self Car" is it canst not pickest up enough potential brainwashees who shalt rigorously serve mine servant the Kekelest and wash his underwear when it becometh soiled.
Commandment 23: (or whatever number I was on)
ReplyDeleteThou shalt be an idiot, stupid, dumb and blind lest thou thinkest with thy brain, and reasonest of the hypocrisy of thineself and thy fellow NTCC leaders lest thou perceivest and be made whole and escapest the cult within which thou and thy fellow flunkies abode.
Commandment 24: Thou shalt by all means washest the yes man Olson's car and shineth the chauvinistic pig Rdubest's shoes and be a blind follower of such, lest thou thinkest with thine washed brain and be converted so that thou and thine broke wife can havest life insurance for thou shalt surely die in a day that thou knowest not.
ReplyDeleteCommandment 25: Thou shalt not readest Don and Ange's blog lest thou fallest out on the floor laughing and lest thou losest thine life as thou will bloggest too much and get fat whilest thou sittest on thine couch and watchest football.
ReplyDeleteThou shalt not be an idiot like the Chili Chiefest of Cheese Dogs for he knowest not what he typest as he is brain dead from blogging and thinkest not. He shalt not though in any wise follow Schmekel and have a washed brain but he shalt be the Chiefest of Cheese Dogs and be made whole.
ReplyDeleteCommandment 16
ReplyDeleteMaybe Grant Kekel is the anti-Christ. That is why they sent him to the Great Whore for his education.
Fisher said...
ReplyDeleteMaybe Grant Kekel is the anti-Christ.
Chief said...
No, just the son of a rich double standard hypocrite.
Just read your coments Chilli Cheese dogster. My sides are hurting. You ought to rewrite the ntcc bylaws in old english! Happy football!!!!
ReplyDeleteThou shalt read my comments and laughest, that think with thine brain and reason with thine heart lest callest me bitter wrongfully so. For thou shalt surely knowest that Rdubest is a crook and his son in law Kekelest is a conn artest for thou shalt not abide with hypocrites nor givest in their offering lest thou be a partaker of their double standards.
ReplyDeletePretty Good!!!
ReplyDeleteAmenest!
ReplyDeleteChief chill, you are on a roll. You made this blog post worth reading. I have readest all thy comments and laughest my buttocks off. I truly haddest a hard time decidething which sin to choose. The One eyed football monster , or the sinnernet. At one point I was getting on your ungodly blog and posting forbidden filth during the game. Thy blog tempted me above that which I was able to withstand.
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eliminate corruption in non profits call on Congress + IRS to
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Religious institutions were granted Constitutional protections by our founding fathers, without government intrusion
Tax law that was intended to support the free exercise of religious liberty,
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A lack of accountability and transparency exists in the statutes of the current tax code, that protect violators of the tax exempt status, at the expense of members, congregations, and donors to these organizations, and groups. These organizations leaders are charged with the fiduciary oversight, and stewardship of resources of these groups that they claim to serve, unfortunately, many do not fulfill this charge by their conduct. We request that the Commissioner of The IRS, and Congress amend these tax statutes in order to close these loopholes. Thank You.